Monday, 7 April 2014

Allen's Fertilized Eggs








Allen was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Allen's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Allen's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Allen was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the
Jackson County Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Always vote carefully; you can't always hear the bells.




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5 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

This is excellent. And truer than I like to consider.

River said...

Old Butch knew what he was up to. Let the other roosters run themselves ragged trying to catch pullets. Old Butch just sneaks up and gets the job done with no competition.
Politicians may not have bells, but they have loud voices and like to brag. We can hear them coming!

Vest said...

Then one day a big new rooster arrived and told Butch he was taking over which then resulted in a cock fight and butch the loser.
Butch said ok, you have all the pulletts and i'll have the six old boilers but to be fair we will race for them giving me a ten metre start five times around the chicken pen, ok say's the cocky new rooster, whenever you are ready, Butch seeing the farmer going out to shoot some pesky rooks in the trees, said 'OK now", butch ran shrieking around the pen and soon after the farmer seeing this shot the rooster chasing butch.
The rooster was replaced several times and each time the same thing happened, an enquiring neighbour asked , what's with all the dead roosters? the farmer replies," had a bit of bad luck buying six Gay roosters in the past week.

Vest said...

Elephants Child and River, Thanks for your comments.
Hope you enjoy the sequel.

River said...

Yes!

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

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