Saturday, 25 January 2014

The Bacon Tree.



The Bacon Tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving.
They are about to just lie down and await death when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Ees, Luis, eet sure smell like bacon."

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon,
double smoked bacon ... Every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, wees saved! Ees a bacon tree!"

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? Wees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...
ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree!"

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 meters,
Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath....

"Pepe... Go back, man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees....



Ees.....


Ees....

Ees....
Ees...

Ees....


Ees..... a ham bush...."


SORRY. I know there's something wrong with me for sending you this. Just couldn't help it! Little voices made me do it !!!

And I bet you tried to do the accent too, didn't you - I know you did! You are grinning.....aren't you!



6 comments:

Billy Mcgill. said...



On the 28th February we are moving house to the following address
44 tan-y-fron fford-yr-orsed llandudno ll301la north Wales UK
Love to rosemary up spirits Billy mcgill scouse will be off line until march yours aye

Pres Obama. said...


This was written by a black gentleman in Texas and is so funny. What a great sense of humor and creative thinking !
When U Black, U Black
When I was born, I was BLACK,
When I grew up, I was BLACK,
When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK,
When I got cold, I was BLACK,
When I was scared, I was BLACK,
When I was sick, I was BLACK,
And when I die, I'll still be BLACK.

NOW, You 'white' folks......
When you're born, you're PINK,
When you grow-up, you're WHITE,
When you go in the sun, you get RED,
When you're cold, you turn BLUE,
When you're scared, you're YELLOW,
When you get sick, you're GREEN
When you bruise, you turn PURPLE,
And when you die, you look GREY.

So why y'all be callin' us
COLORED Folks

Vest said...

Thank you Billy, your new addy noted.

Also thanks Pres for your colourful information.

But how is it white and coloured people turn as white as a sheet when they see a ghost?

I am away from blogging for a while. due to someone or persons sticking pins into my effigy, sort of sick.

Malclm, U/K. said...



Maybe the Best IRISH Joke Ever!

Two paddies were working for the city public works department. One would
dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.

They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved
on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man
digging a hole, the other filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what
they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, " I'm impressed by the
effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it: why do
you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up
again? "

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, " Well, I suppose it probably
looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad
who plants the trees called in sick.

River said...

Love this! May I copy it, my sons would love the laugh.

Vest said...

River: yes you may copy it. or anything which gets me noticed, thank you for calling.

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...