Saturday, 28 July 2012

Contiued from previous post.

I was close to home when I saw the Coal delivery man open our front gate. I watched as the big lurcher dog from the mill mounted one of Auntie Parker's Scots Terriers in the flower bed. Auntie flapped her arm yelling "Someone do something"., The Coal man promptly dropped his sack of coal and grabbed then squeezed the lurcher's testicles. The poor dog, his his coitus interrupted,let out an unearthly howl and shot off down the road his back legs hobbling in a three legged sprint. My adopted uncle Robert was a queer old cove. he lived in a large three storey house by the river cherwell in Oxford with a man servant?. Though his sexual preferences may have been questionable, his meanness certainly wasn't. Uncle Bob rarely bought a newspaper, always choosing the library for such information, and always rode a bicycle twelve miles to visit us. The day he turned up late hot and flustered with a puncture I was sent to the Post Office to buy a puncture repair kit that cost me six pennies, a rather large sum for a nine year old. Uncle Bob the mean old sod failed to reimburse me, I then complained to Auntie Parker about my financial loss. she then stated it was God's punishment for fibbing to farmer Frankman about his bull. I then retaliated by informing Auntie that while she was entertaining Farmer Turner with tea and biscuits in our lounge room with the window curtains drawn, up the road Dickey Moores and Curly Hicks were pointing out to the village copper where I was supposedly nicking farmer turners Mangold wurzels. while Auntie knew Farmer turner said I could take as many as I wanted on that day he called on you. I then told Auntie that, two days later when you told me you were going to the village hall, the policeman saw your bicycle at turners farmhouse, later the policeman told me everything had been sorted out and I was clean. Soon after Auntie gave me a hug and big kiss and told me not to mention what I knew to anyone, Then she gave me the six pennies Uncle Bob owed me. All for now Back soon Vest.

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