Saturday, 9 June 2012

Post No 998. Daily Telegraph Defaces British Flag.

Sydney AMP building 1971. Two days prior I had arrived in the colony of NSW as a free settler with my healthy Wife and family of five sons all of school age. Unlike most of the local inhabitants who were descendants of Whores and thieves from a century back, we were here to improve the bloodstock of this country of beer swilling boofheads. We had previously sold our house in Portsmouth England and were not about to bludge on the public purse. Arriving at the Amp office a large overweight suit cracked off with the opening words of his interview. "Mr B, Ah you are the new Pommy from the OLD DART is that correct"? "No" I replied, "You have your wires crossed somewhere, and what is a Pommy and where is the old Dart. Regardless of the nastiness in the interview I got the job as a legger at the Enfield office which lasted a year before I went into business. Nevertheless the Pommy and old dart cliches had me thinking and despite the numerous suggestions 'Why Pommy' I came up with the answer which holds more credence than a lot of other piffle. Portsmouth, long known as 'Pompey' ages prior to the first fleet sailing in 1788 loaded to the gunwales with pre mentioned Whores and thieves and political dissidents mostly from Ireland, who were short changed with their limited brain power and grasp of the spoken English gave way to use the word POMMY derived from the slurring of their speech. All Other Suggestions for the Pommy name aforementioned among the tribes of Strayer are to be eradicated forthwith. Now 'The OLD DART'. From what I can gather this stupid expression also emanated from the mouths of ignoramuses from the Emerald isle. Now most Strayans with a brain will be able to put two and two together and realise that, the rural hoi polloi in St Patrickland slur their speech, and their dialect misuses the I as an A. therefore the old Dart becomes the old Dirt meaning the Bogs of Ireland and not the English 'Green and Pleasant land'. The sordid abuse of the British Union flag shown on page three of the Sydney Daily Telegraph, today stating in capitals 'BLACK CAVIAR IN THE OLD DART' written on the flag itself plus a picture of a souped up deknackered Gee Gee supposedly sticking its tongue out. must be the work of a Pompey hating journo with the brain of a rocking horse Hardly a 'RAY' of sunshine. I am wondering what would happen if I stood outside of a Aussie RSL Waving that beautiful Aussie flag with the slogan 'WHITE OZ BLUDGERY GALAH"S VISIT THE BLACK STUMP' Emblazoned on it. The Flag of Nth Ireland,is a white Square flag with a Red St Patrick's cross (X). This flag is also flag 'V' in the international maritime code, when flown means "I REQUIRE ASSISTANCE"..... Hardly surprising. "Good News" I have now finished my treatment for Cancer in my bladder and I feel more sprightly than ever. Bad news is, the Duke of Edinburgh may have the same problem, But I expect he will have the English version of the OZ 'GOLD CARD'. "Think it more satisfactory to live rich than die rich, and for all Australians enjoy your 'Queens Birthday Long weekend when Queen Liz will be 86 and 51 days of age. also vote for a republic and lose this bludging day off. Back soon ...Vest.

4 comments:

tom tom said...

Your life appears to have been rewarding, certainly no air of bludger in you

Vest said...

Tom Tom: Thank you. May I ask if you are currently running on lazarus juice?

Jayne said...

LOL Enjoyed the read :)

Lower deck lawyer. said...

I loved this post Vest on how to be nasty when not being nasty. Yes I too enjoyed reading it. Mike.

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