Wednesday, 30 May 2012

North Korea enjoying Maori 'Long Pig Recipe'

North Korea. Most of the G N P of this impoverished militarised country is spent on armaments and large pompous hats for the senior militants. Very little is expended on nutrition for the Hoi poloi and it seems the only way out for some to survive is to feed on your dead friends or kill persons who are not your best friends and flog their flesh or barter it for veggies and the like. Human flesh apparently tastes a little like pork when spit roasted pre 1850's Maori style, Young male captives resulting from raids were the main source of the Sunday roast. But it seems people in North Korea have been reading R,M,Ballantyne's 'Coral Island' and picking up a few native recipes. this revelation is creating shock horror South of the 38Th parallel. Recently North Korean authorities have executed three people for cannibalism as the nation struggles with hunger. The claims were made by south Korea's state run Korean institute for national unification, based on information from 230 defectors who saw the executions for cannibalism carried out. The Yonhap News Agency report Say's those interviewed claimed the executions were for eating and or selling of human flesh. "Haven't these N K gooks heard of the last human resource SOLENT GREEN".... movie 1973.

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

The missing kitchen sink plug.

Nearest and dearest asks" Have you seen the plug for the kitchen sink".
I reply " Not lately, Use the plug from the shower".
"Strange" she Say's" I always leave it in the same place".
"OK" Say's I, "The dog next door ate it".
"How could that happen ".
I then told her "Every time our new neighbours go out their dog starts
barking on and off, more on than off , so I looked for something to
shut it up ".
"Cant see it eating a plastic or rubber plug Say's she".
"Why not said I,  the dog couldn't resist it'.
"Why is that she asks".
"Well I covered the plug with chicken fat and skin from the leftovers in
the fridge, so I reckon the dog will be farting more than barking for a while."

Stop worrying dog lovers. Took a decko over the fence  and saw dog gnawing
 on the plug.  Must buy more plugs.

He who does not hope to win has already lost...Vest.. Back soon.

Sunday, 13 May 2012

'Psst' wanna buy some 100 Year old Cemetary Gates?

     Anyone you hear of trying to flog a pair of century old Wrought Iron gates in NSW or possibly Victoria in OzStrayer mate. contact your nearest rozzer bobby or gendarme - la police.
Anyone considering using these gates as an entrance to their new stately residence may invoke the wrath of the previous persons guarded by these gates. Midnight wailing and poltergeist activity could eventually precede unusual deaths and madness to those who perpetrated this ghoulish deed.
A small community in New South Wales, OZ,is dying to solve a grave crime at their cemetery, and won't rest until the case is dead and buried.
Thieves stole stole these gates from Murringo cemetery about a week ago.
It has infuriated the village people, population 164, and the local council faces 'Coffin up' for new gates if they are not returned.
Local mayor S Frankenstein (Whoop's) sorry er Freudenstein Say's we can't have a cemetery without gates, mind you, we are not trying to stop anyone getting out.
One lady resident slammed the grave yard thieves stating " I hope the Ghosts eat away at your conscience, anything associated with the cemetery when it is interfered with is taken very personally  by people who have relative there"
It is believed that Sydney and Melbourne  auction houses have been warned.

Saturday, 12 May 2012

Post No990.To day is International "Owl And Pussycat Day."

Two hundred years ago Edward Lear who composed the famous poem in1867, was born in Holloway, London. England
It would be best to google his profile and save my time ranting on. However, my contact with Edward Lear's poetry? came in the 1930's during my senior schooling. When Lear's "The Dong with the luminous nose" was a challenge to learn 'off by heart'. in fact a massive prize of one Pound Sterling
was available to any student who could recite this gobbledygook without any mistakes. There were no winners that I can recall.


The Dong with a Luminous Nose







When awful darkness and silence reign
Over the great Gromboolian plain,
Through the long, long wintry nights;--
When the angry breakers roar
As they beat on the rocky shore;--
When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights
Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore:--
Then, through the vast and gloomy dark,
There moves what seems a fiery spark,
A lonely spark with silvery rays
Piercing the coal-black night,--
A Meteor strange and bright:--
Hither and thither the vision strays,
A single lurid light.
Slowly it wanders,--pauses,--creeeps,--
Anon it sparkles,--flashes and leaps;
And ever as onward it gleaming goes
A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws.
And those who watch at that midnight hour
From Hall or Terrace, or lofty Tower,
Cry, as the wild light passes along,--
'The Dong!--the Dong!
'The wandering Dong through the forest goes!
'The Dong! the Dong!
'The Dong with a luminous Nose!'
Long years ago
The Dong was happy and gay,
Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl
Who came to those shores one day,
For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,--
Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd
Where the Oblong Oysters grow,
And the rocks are smooth and gray.
And all the woods and the valleys rang
With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,--
'Far and few, far and few,
Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
Their heads are green, and their hands are blue
And they went to sea in a sieve.'

Happily, happily passed those days!
While the cheerful Jumblies staid;
They danced in circlets all night long,
To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong,
In moonlight, shine, or shade.
For day and night he was always there
By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair,
With her sky-blue hands, and her sea-green hair.
Till the morning came of that hateful day
When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away,
And the Dong was left on the cruel shore
Gazing--gazing for evermore,--
Ever keeping his weary eyes on
That pea-green sail on the far horizon,--
Singing the Jumbly Chorus still
As he sate all day on the grassy hill,--
'Far and few, far and few,
Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
Their heads are green, and their hands are blue
And they went to sea in a sieve.'

But when the sun was low in the West,
The Dong arose and said;--
--'What little sense I once possessed
'Has quite gone out of my head!'--
And since that day he wanders still
By lake or forest, marsh and hill,
Singing--'O somewhere, in valley or plain
'Might I find my Jumbly Girl again!
'For ever I'll seek by lake and shore
'Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!'
Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks,
Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks,
And because by night he could not see,
He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree
On the flowery plain that grows.
And he wove him a wondrous Nose,--
A Nose as strange as a Nose could be!
Of vast proportions and painted red,
And tied with cords to the back of his head.
--In a hollow rounded space it ended
With a luminous Lamp within suspended,
All fenced about
With a bandage stout
To prevent the wind from blowing it out;--
And with holes all round to send the light,
In gleaming rays on the dismal night.
And now each night, and all night long,
Over those plains still roams the Dong;
And above the wall of the Chimp and Snipe
You may hear the sqeak of his plaintive pipe
While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain
To meet with his Jumbly Girl again;
Lonely and wild--all night he goes,--
The Dong with a luminous Nose!
And all who watch at the midnight hour,
From Hall or Terrace, or lofty Tower,
Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright,
Moving along through the dreary night,--
'This is the hour when forth he goes,
'The Dong with a luminous Nose!
'Yonder--over the plain he goes,
'He goes!
'He goes;
'The Dong with a luminous Nose!'

I did not bother to spell check this tomfoolery. Vest


Should America go the Whole Hog And clean up Islam

Top US officer: Stop this ‘Total War’ on Islam
Fri May 11, 2012 11:59AM GMT


America’s top military officer condemned in the strongest possible terms a Defense Department course that taught troops to prep for a “total war” on Islam using “Hiroshima”-style tactics.
“It was totally objectionable, against our values and it wasn’t academically sound,” Army Gen. Martin Dempsey, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told reporters at a Pentagon press conference on Thursday. The instructor responsible for the course, Army Lt. Col. Matthew A. Dooley, is “no longer in a teaching status,” Dempsey added - but he is still employed at the Joint Forces Staff College in Norfolk, Va.
Dempsey’s comments were prompted by a Danger Room report on Thursday that described Dooley’s course in detail. For at least a year, Dooley taught an optional course at the college for lieutenant colonels, colonels, commanders and Navy captains that proposed taking a war on Islam “to the civilian population wherever necessary,” which he likened to the bombardment of Dresden and nuclear destruction of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Guest lecturers in the course encouraged those senior officers to think of themselves as a “resistance movement” to Islam. Wired.com





HIGHLIGHTS


The course for U.S. military officers has been teaching that America's enemy is Islam in general, not just terrorists, and suggested that the country might ultimately have to obliterate the Islamic holy cities of Mecca and Medina without regard for civilian deaths, following World War II precedents of the nuclear attack on Hiroshima or the allied firebombing of Dresden. Daily Telegraph
"They hate everything you stand for and will never coexist with you, unless you submit," the instructor, Army Lt Col Matthew Dooley, said in a presentation last July for the course at Joint Forces Staff College. Daily Telegraph
The college, for professional military members, teaches mid-level officers and government civilians on subjects related to planning and executing war. Daily Telegraph
Dooley also presumed, for the purposes of his theoretical war plan, that the Geneva conventions that set standards of armed conflict, are "no longer relevant". Guardian
In what he called a model for a campaign to force a transformation of Islam, Lt Col Dooley called for "a direct ideological and philosophical confrontation with Islam," with the presumption that Islam is an ideology rather than just a religion. He further asserted that Islam has already declared war on the West, and the U.S. specifically. Daily Telegraph
"It is therefore illogical" to continue with the current U.S. strategy - which Lt Col Dooley said presumes there is a way of finding common ground with Islamic religious leaders - without "waging near 'total war,"' he wrote. Daily Telegraph
Over the years, hundreds of documents claiming “mainstream” Muslims are “violent” have made their way into FBI curricula, alongside internal claims that agents working on counterterrorism cases could “bend or suspend the law.”

For the best news of the day ,Have the Sydney Daily Telegraph delivered to your door daily..Priced lower than news stands.

Thursday, 3 May 2012

Only problem is Friday is not the first but the 29th June so Saturday will be the 30th with Sunday being the 1st which will have five Sundays along with Mondays and Tuesdays

No doubt this was true a few years back but not in 2012.



Did you know that there is a great advantage in being a Muslim, no kidding: When you change your wife, you can still keep the same photo on your desk.





Lastly I have a moral Test for you....Read to the end before making a judgment...Cheers

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.

By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.



*** THE SITUATION: ***

You are in the suburbs of London .

There is chaos all around you caused by severe flooding.

You are a photo-journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.

You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing into the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.


*** THE TEST: ***

Suddenly, you see a man in the water.

He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris, you move closer... Somehow, the man looks familiar....

You suddenly realize who it is.... It's the Muslim Cleric, Abu Hamza, the one-eyed, hook handed bastard who hates non-Muslims and wants England to become an Islamic state!!

You notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.

You have two options:

You can save the life of Abu or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the country's most despised, evil and powerful men!




*** NOW THE QUESTION AND PLEASE GIVE AN HONEST ANSWER ***

Would you select high contrast colour film or, would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?


Answer to July Question.



This year, July will have 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays.
  There were no correct answers, personally I had no problem with the answer, ah well  suppose there are people
out there who are a bit thick.
July 2012
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
This happens only once every 823 years.
They call it the money bag.
Send it to all your friends, and according to them, you will receive money within 4 days.
According to the Chinese Feng Shui practitioners, whoever does not send will remain poor.
I thought it best to send it along!
Just in case!