Monday, 24 January 2011

Daily Gaggle Sports Rep Say's "Cricket is a 'Toss Up' Does the Papal faith Industry control the game?"

Infidel of Infidelity Shame Worne continues his bed hopping between periods of coaching our OZ sticky Cricketers.
Our beefiest Bawling ball bashers are at last belting the Britishers in the back yard version of the game, whose best players have returned to Blighty.
Returned from the the scrap heap, Short fuzed bowler Binglea; whose facial grimacing and hateful vein bursting  air punching taunts, is seen on Channel 9 yesterday having his Bum tapped  by gay playful team mates, thus exposing their gender weaknesses.

The less exposed version of cricket is that of Women's Cricket. The beefy belles of Britain, are putting their lesser skilled opponents the 'Ozstrayer Cock or two's to the sword. It seems the Ozzie Sheila's are also getting stuffed at the game, must be an overall downward trend in Oz cricket.
Our girly reporter was stunned  when she espied the pom lady keeper packing a cricket box after a game, concerned she asks Oz sheila "Do the teams have sex checks before the games"? the dotty player replies "No, but it seems some of those pommy tarts wear them cricket boxes  to prevent lost balls". t'would seem this is a gaping flaw in the game or a lot of bollocks going unexposed.

Clarkey.The sucklessor to former leading ; Oz cricket failure Rik pong Ting, known to his dying circle of supporters as the Pup or poop, AKA Mr L Bingle retired, continues his slip shod ways and is likely to be dumped and replaced by a sometimes tearful husband of  whatser name Lee F (220 yards long).

Generally little is known who is the controlling factor in cricket. Seriously it seems Catholics control the game, A person has to be superior in the game if he does not sport a Saints name, most accepted players were weaned in private catholic schools, a plethora of saint names such as Andrews, Mathews, Johns, Pauls, Michael's, Peters, Marks, Luke's and Christopher's dominate the cricket teams, very few Anglican Bill's, Bert's and Freds are seen  nowadays.
Oh a reminder to our Oz cricket writers.
The Poms won the series and retained the Ashes trophy.
Australia did not lose it or win it.

Sel Reywob. Daily Gaggle Sports.

Vest suggests, get rid of the Aussie selectors. and while you're at it, sports writer's too.

The larger type was requested recently by a  short sighted caller.

Sunday, 16 January 2011

DNA test for dogs poo-dunnyt. 'Bow Wow's ' Calling cards are now readable.

COUNCILS want to DNA-test dog droppings, so they can track down owners who refuse to pick up after their pets and send them a fine.


The hardline approach, being trialled overseas, has won support from councillors in Sydney, North Sydney, Woollahra, Waverley and Ashfield.

Genetic Technologies, Australia's largest canine testing laboratory, wants to implement the DNA testing scheme and is preparing detailed submissions for councils.

It works like this: dogs would be given a mouth-swab while they're being microchipped at the vet and their DNA stored on a database.
Council rangers would collect droppings and send samples for testing to find a database match. Owners would then receive a fine notice for failing to clean up after their dogs.
Ashfield Councillor Nick Adams says dog droppings are an "enormous problem'' and has vowed to get the ball rolling on a feasibility study.
"I support this idea and would welcome any initiative that protects the health of my residents and helps clean up the area,'' he said.

A DNA-testing program is being trialled in Israel, with a reward system for pet-owners who scoop up their dog's mess and place it in specially marked bins.

Genetic Technologies, which also does crime-scene analysis for NSW police, has set up a DNA database for Melbourne's Port Phillip Council to solve dog attacks on residents and pets.

Testing director Ian Smith said DNA tests on dog droppings could be easily implemented in NSW at minimal cost.
"DNA profiling is getting cheaper and cheaper,'' he said. ``The program will raise public awareness of the problem and the fine revenue should offset the start-up of the program.''

New Woollahra Mayor Andrew Petrie said he'd support the strategy, provided it met certain criteria.
"If it wasn't an invasion of people's privacy and, legally, you could do it, then I'd be very interested to hear more on the matter,'' he said.

North Sydney Council, where dog-fouling penalties cost up to $550, is also getting behind the plans.
"I think it's a pretty good idea,'' Councillor Veronique Marchandeau said.
"It will happen here, as long as it's cost-effective. It's one of the many tools councils can use.''

Sydney City Labor councillor Meredith Burgmann said the idea should be considered, as did Liberal councillor Shayne Mallard.
"There is a minority of pet owners who aren't responsible and damage the reputation of all pet-owners,'' he said.

North Sydney dog-owner Alex McNee had mixed feelings: "I think it's a bit heavy-handed, but I'd rather they did that than shut down dog parks. You can't take dogs to beaches any more, so the parks are all we've got.''.....................................................................................................................................................................

Vest Say's. "Here are my two cents worth regarding this matter"
In the wash up of this extraordinary gathering of Sydney councils, it is yet to be decided who will be given the task of collecting poo - sorry dog shit. I am thinking there will be few takers unless the rewards are generous.

Nothing can be more off putting than to go out at night or come home in a darkened area where you tread into this stinking effluent. Suddenly the whole car stinks when it is trod into the carpet, or worse still, this is true, our grand/children are visiting and in the darkness fail to see the mess our next door neighbours dogs ( 2 of them with a dog apiece)have left in our driveway grass verge, the children run into the house with it all over the carpet. When this happened on the second occasion, I sent both neighbours a cleaning bill for $40;00 each which they refused to pay. Eventually after much haggling the local council, screwed them with a heavy fine for several offences, however,we decided to move away from this situation and are now settled comfortably, However letting the miscreants know in full that not only the council, but I too, needed the satisfaction of retribution to be expedited SAP I hatched this sinister plot.
A few days before leaving our last residence, we had packed most of our worldly goods and we decided to visit friends for a few days. It was Australia day 26th Jan and promising to be hot, our neighbours had set up tables and chairs plus sun shelters in preparation for the the 'Big Pissup and barby in their back gardens'.

Let it be known I am not a vindictive person unless pushed to the limit, however on that hot Australia day opportunity knocked.

Before leaving I popped up the road and bought 30 kilos of concentrated chicken and cow manure in pellets , called 'Dynamic lifter' Which when wet will stink for two or three days.This was distributed equally in both front and back gardens about 10:am then two hoses on timers were turned on for ten minutes on leaving to visit our friends. Half an hour later I stopped in a lay by and phoned both my neighbours wishing them a Happy Australia day.
 
Do you have a asshole of a neighbour you wish to thank in full, legally.
,  plot your retribution right now, simply follow my previous devious instructions and avag'day.

Saturday, 15 January 2011

Hearing is disbelieving.

Reluctantly I visited my local physician yesterday in order to confirm my ears were clear for my forthcoming stability test on  Monday. Having already followed instruction to clear my lugholes from nasties, the non glove wearing Quack took a Gander by using a scope to poke into my tinnitus ravaged sound boxes.
The result a clear port side but an infected starboard side, requiring anti body drops until whenever!
Something I did notice after the failed oriental medical comedian told me that the only thing I should put in my ear was my big toe; anything else creates infection, was the doc then put the ear scope away in a cupboard uncleansed.
J'ai des e'tourdissements.
To be a greater person you must believe you are the best, even if you know your'e not, pretend you are.

Vest... Back later.

Thursday, 13 January 2011

Slowing down a necessity.due to health matters. Je veux voir medecin.

Too much exposure to stressful activities may be enhancing the intermittent pains dancing around my head, although nothing amiss has happened during the past ten minutes or so which would be about the average time before another short sharp stabbing pain occurs. I am not a happy soul having to put up with this dilemma  which has increased in intensity over the past couple of months. You will remember this is the ongoing after effects of a domestic accident which occurred  8-2-08. Coupled with the afore mentioned predicament is my unsteady gait and general dizzy embodiment.
Numerous tests scans and x rays have not come up with an answer to my problem, although the neurologist I spoke to about six weeks ago did inform me it was something I would have to live with full time. However, the increase in activity over the past few weeks was not expected, it leads me to think that there is a case for further examination.
My next visit to the neurologist on Monday 17th inst may shed more light on my problem.
Social life has gone by the board, I am now a dry non smoking ex dancing club member, next it will be becoming a Vegan, not much fun to follow as boudoir frolicking flew out of the window sometime back.

There is little I can say about the floods up north which has not already been said.

The England cricket teams both M&F continue on their merry winning ways, but it is shameful that the local sports journo's have denigrated the efforts of the Aussie teams; in turn sounding the death knell for former top players.
It is not a divine right for Australians to be the winners in every sporting contest, there are occasions when you come off second best despite one's valiant efforts. And for future captains of Oz Twenty 20 games, batting first is not a good option when you win the toss, batting 2nd regulates the scoring pace; or do they do it different in Topsy turvy land ? however, it didn't work last night.

Nothing coming in from prodigal son, "We hope you are happy and well".
Domestic life is proceeding normally nothing untoward.
Some bad news from the U/K, the Patriarch of our(Wife and I) families worldwide is sick in hospital suffering from pneumonia and septicemia, my brother in law Percy is three months my elder. My family here in Australia wish you well Percy.
And for all of you out there  remember, Cheerfulness is the atmosphere in which all things thrive.

Back later....Vest.

Friday, 7 January 2011

ARE YOU AN OVERWEIGHT FAT SLOB?

 Well, you have only yourself to blame

GLUTTONY and gorging yourself on the wrong foods you eat, mainly caused by ignorance, laziness and boredom, is the obese persons path to an early demise.

A DIET of processed meat, full fat dairy products and fried foods is fuelling the worlds growing rates of diabetes, high blood pressure and obesity.

Although Australia is high up the charts internationally, It is in America and Canada where the problem is at its greatest peak, and 25% more, the highest proportion of the porky population are women over 20 years of age- 70% of those are fatties. so men if you are looking for a Nth AM partner; particularly Caucasian, its 4 to 1 on she is a fatso.

Most people totally ignore the recommended eating habits, men generally have the poorest diets, with fewer than 5% eating the recommended Minimum of five vegetables per day, but counter this by having more exercise and some a physical work program.

Women on the other hand tend to be taking trips to the pantry more often than men.

NOT ENOUGH VEGETABLES. Just 7.5 per cent of adults eat five or more servings per day.

NOT ENOUGH FRUIT. Only 52 per cent eat two or more servings per day.

THE WRONG MILK. 45 per cent of adults only drink full cream milk.

NOT ENOUGH BREADS. Only 10 per cent of adults eat more than four servings per day.

TOO MUCH FRIED POTATO. 21 per cent of adults eat them at least once per week.

TOO MUCH PROCESSED MEAT PRODUCTS. Including sausages , meat pies, pizzas, Frankfurt's, salami, Bacon and Ham. 62 per cent eat them at least once a week World wide, but America and Canada the figures are 85 per cent more than twice per week.

It seems that Middle aged women in Canada & the USA consume more Pork products than any where else in the world, Their taste for Bacon recipes is becoming widespread, which in turn leaves little doubt why their backsides are also widespread. ...Vest..