WOMEN TALKING AND THINKING ABOUT SEX .
It has long been suspected that women talk longer if not louder than men.
In fact women talk almost three times as much, chuntering a staggering 27,000 words a day, compared to men's 9,000. The worst offenders were women of age 50 and over in Queensland in Australia and Minnesota in the USA and those in the U/K from north of Bicester and above to County Durham( this Dr crumpet travels a lot,) goes to the Ginza in nippon land to meet visiting poms out for a quick screw after discussing the tools of trade with local industrialists.
Japs - they speak more quickly and in north America even quicker still, like Spanish fishwives berating their spouses, coming up for breath every 123 words. Besides this women devote more brainpower to chit chat and cackling like old boiler hens and get a sexual buzz out of hearing their own voices,a female psychiatrist suggests.
Dr Vaginia Crumpet Of Seven Hills University Australia, Say's "This is is caused by the vast differences in the male and female brain.
The sex hormone testosterone responsible for moulding the male brain in the womb, increases the areas for memory and communication but struggles to express their emotions to the same extent.
In contrast women have less brain cells left for communication and the act of speaking triggers a flood of chemicals which gives them a rush similar to that felt by heroin addicts on a high, this can increase if the woman is hooked on a cocktail of prescription drugs.
Dr Crumpet who runs a female 'Mood and Hormone' clinic in Bidwill Near Mt Druitt yacht club in Sydney states one part of the male brain is a small section which enables men to become 'Deaf' to most of the illogical arguments put forward by women. Dr Crumpet also believes the area responsible for sexual thoughts is twice as big in male brains and their brain power is much greater when being involved with sex, and the speech activity is often influenced by the environment we live in. In the north of England women tend to use their position of class and a bit of name dropping to gain access to the minds of others, when completely satisfied there is little more to gain, all niceties are dropped faster than a hot potato , These women are usually influenced by genetically non aligned family partners who put the screws on all further development preferring to maintain the status Quo by axing all forms of communication. In Australia she Say's, there is much more subtle communication between men and women, sharing she Say's is the key word, unlike the brutality and divisional strife by our Nth American cousins. In Australia we become accustomed to being called bastards and recent news makes such a compliment more bearable .
Fortunately most of the more recent aggravating tribal activity was not in our neck of the woods and was mainly concerning those one point eight metres below ground level. A distance of 12,000 miles keeps us safe from having to duck in a hurry from a woman scorned . David and Chris our lineage researchers have ceased their activities in Australia and are taking up fishing for real fish, these are easier to find with a fish finder than rello's with a bone detector. It is getting rather late so I shall put the remaining J W in the drinks cabinet - say goooooonight to my visitor ...the tree Frog stuck on the window, who is busy eating mozzies trying to access the fly screen. I had intended to watch Sri lanka beat the England twenty 20 ball bashers cos I dont care a rats arse or a flying fart who wins as long as they beat the baggy hatter Gay Mr Bingles team of toe rags and tossers, Yawnnnnn!! I better go fini. luvs ya vest.