Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Sober driver, Annoyed priest Arrogant Cop. Memories of yesteryear

A few years back a fair bit I had a attended the wedding of a son and daughter in law of a close friend.
After the reception when most of the guests had had a skinful, certain designated drivers ferried the guests to their homes or to other destinations.
Sitting in the middle seat at the back of the car was the Reverend who had conducted the wedding and was wearing a waist seat belt.
Before the first intersection a pedestrian ran across the road causing our driver to slam on the brakes and attracting the policeman ahead attending the car he had stopped in front of our car.
At the point in time when our driver braked, the Reverend in the middle seat was thrown forward by the force of inertia - also a wooden jacket clothes hanger which had been placed near the rear window earlier by the driver had found its way between the back of the Reverend and the back seat, both meeting on return impact.
I was more than a little surprised at the Reverends utterances who by the time the copper had arrived had removed his seat belt and had retrieved the clothes hanger and was waving it at the driver, on seeing this the copper stated "Not wearing a seat belt," The Rev replied of course I'm not can't you understand why you fool, while waving the clothes hanger at the cop, "Not sure what you're raving on about sir but that will be a seventy dollar fine".
At that point I left the vehicle by the curbside rear door and later caught a cab.
A few months ago I met the driver of the car in that incident who informed me that he was fined as well as the Reverend plus the Reverend was fined for unseemly language and violent behaviour, he also stated the old guy named Noel who was sat next to the Reverends other side had peed the back seat.
"Well I'm not surprised mate" I replied that old geezer lived in Marayong and was the same guy who on another occasion who peed the passenger seat in my old yellow business van, at the time he was as pissed as a fiddler when I hauled him out and sat him on a roadside seat and drove home.
Memories of yesteryear. VEST. (c)copyright.

11 comments:

Aggie said...

Lol! Perhaps you should get them to wear incontinence nappies on the next driking night out.

Jimmy said...

OK

Jimmy said...

I am in love again


dont be silly
it aint Miss Aggie

Jimmy said...

she talks like an angel
but I cant say
she looks like an angel

Jimmy said...

I havent seen her yet

frank said...

It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!

Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.


1. What do you put in a toaster?












Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast,' give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.



2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?







Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3





3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?








Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why the hell are you still reading these???
If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4



4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany , or no man's land'?

















Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury survivors', proceed to the next question.


5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading , six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon , two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on . In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?












Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you re member your own name? It was YOU!! (Take a look at the question again!)



Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

Vest said...

Frank: I did not fail the test,(True)

kate...fb. said...

Hi Vesty, I failed franks test so did my mum , its surprising how you can get caught out.Luvs ya kate.xxx.

WALLY said...

Kate i'm not surprised you failed the test my mum did too and I woudnt half bet that jimmy failed as well.

Vest said...

Wally: Did your attempt end in failure? you didn't mention it or maybe you did not attempt it.
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.

Jimmy said...

Wally: Did you do a sex change?
did the attempt end in failure?

Never mind
your breasts look real good
but u did not succeed in getting rid of your penis

MORAL for others:
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.