Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Growing or Going Bananas

Dear relatives and blogger friends.

Haven't ventured forth at all for over ten days, a bout of 'Colley Wobbles flu and several other aches and pains have restricted me to pottering in the garden and catching up with elusive problems. The temp today noon 17 CEL yesterday 13 CEL last week 38 Cel and we are almost into mid spring and the weather patterns are going beserk.

Tele marketer(charity) called today, told the towel head that when my income from UK gets back to normal 45P's not 55P's give me a buzz. That goes for junior relatives too. Get yourselves a job during your school hols. fifty bucks tax free if you cut our grass to our liking, 2.5 hrs our mower and fuel,and no free beer.

Had a lazy day in the galley today, knocked up decadent fish & chips with misc veggies with Banana and Custard to follow.

Thinking of bananas.
Festering within the general public prior to the previous General election, lurked the possibility that should PM,(Draft dodger and chicken hawk)John Howard; actually win the election but retire from office thus giving the health minister and treasurer access to the two top jobs in Govt, would be tantamount to Australia being ridiculed worldwide. This is why the electorate voted labour (labor) And avoided having Australia left in charge of two Chumps called "Abbott and Costello".
After a decade of Lib intervention, national pride more flag crap and republic issues will be reshuffled to sort out the Pro's and Con's. Much emphasise is to put on the Aus Flag not becoming A Green Square Flag embossed with a golden Crescent, or Banana.
Whether the Lizard of Oz, Ex PM Paul Keating was getting it right or not, Strayer aint a Banana Republic yet, mainly thanks to Royalists like finally expired ex Queensland premier and peanut farmer, Jo Bonkers Bananas AKA Joh Bjelke-Petersen. Oh I nearly forgot that other twit our leader of the opposition - Malcolm 'The Turncoat' Turnbull; who is real 'Slow lane Material' and not to be trusted under any circumstances; hardly a Solon more a Dracon.
After cyclone larry 'back a bit' when the banana industry took a belting and bananas were listed in the blue chip pages and needless to say that, only stockbrokers could send their kids to school wiv a nana in their picnic hamper, cos these yellow potassium bombs had reached twelve bucks a kilo at Con the green grocer's in western Sydney, wouldn't like to guess the Double Bay hike.
Eventually after several months, bananas began hitting the stalls from neighboring Banana republics despite the usual ban on imports and pest control regulations. the need to feed and defeat the greed of the slow talking banana benders up in Queensland was given the go ahead. "Time flies like a arrow" so it is said. However "Fruit Fies like a banana"
Strict pest controls on the fruit coming in enabled bananas to become more plentiful and it is now possible to buy bananas around a dollar fifty if you look around. this new oligopoly prevents those charlatans up north having the monopoly and squeezing us southerners.
Anyhow, did you know that only 40 percent of that banana is edible, but the skins make great fertilizer.
I usually have an apple a day 85 per cent consumable and does you more good than a Nana.

A late addition from my niece Christine.

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
And as for bananas, Men are like bananas the older they get, the less firm they become.

Why do women always have the last say?
Back later. Vest.

10 comments:

WALLY. said...

Snake skins make great shoes.
Croc skins the best hand bags.
Banana skins make super slippers.

Frog said...

Oh I love women having the last say[word].
Providing that word is "YES".

Vest said...

I am reliably informed, that, which the Banana is perceived to emulate is achieved by the Banana when turning while in a lateral position.
Each 90 degree turn will produce....

A, A curve to starboard, by right handers, 90deg.
B, The expemded droop, 180 deg.
C, A curve to port, by left handers, 270 deg.
D, Curving up, ready to go, zero deg.

Aggie said...

Ha Ha love the jokes. Nanas are cheap here ...
I hope you get over your flu/sniffles soon.

Frank Cook. said...

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.... The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick", he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes??"

"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"

"I can't piss out of it," he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose!

Christine said...

Hi Uncle ,

Just in case you haven't seen these yet, here are some pics we took while in Folkestone with Dad while he was down, I don't know if anything will look familiar to you as it was so long ago when you were last there.

Sorry to hear you haven't been very well, hope you'll soon be feeling much better, love to you all,

Christine xxxxx

Vest said...

Christine: I was around five years old when last living in Folkestone, although the boats propped up on the beach at low tide has a certain ring to it, The boats I see now are more modern than the fishing smacks powered mostly by sail and of the old time clinker built construction.
However, the memory of that daily ? trip to scrounge a bucketful of small DAB's from kindly fishermen to feed our under nourished family in the bad old 1930s remains indelible in my mind.
Thanks Christine .XX.

Jimmy said...

About Me
I HAVE DISCOVERED THE WONDERS OF MEDITATION--In my case,the last two chakras,MULADHARA and SWADHISTANA CHAKRAS have opened up on their own many years ago--these two chakras release a lot of sexual energy that makes a person eternally youthful and attractive without the headache of workouts or beauty treatments.

Moreover,the opening up of these two chakras give me tremendous sexual bliss or orgasm in deep meditation without actually having sex.

Moreover,normal sex can never ever give such heightened pleasure ever.


says Roshni, my latest flame

Vest said...

Jimmy: Nothing equals the genuine article.

Jimmy said...

dont knock it
till u try it

- OSHO

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