Monday, 7 September 2009

Older than Dirt, by Christine and more from Yours Truly.

It's not that we're really old but you may remember some of these, I did :)





Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'

'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him.

'All the food was slow.'

'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'

'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained !

'Mum cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'


By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis , set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card.

My parents never drove me to school. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).

We didn't have a television in our house until I was 19.

It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people...


I never had a telephone in my room.The only phone was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home... But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers --my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. He had to get up at 6AM every morning.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.


If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES from a friend :

My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

How many do you remember?

Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

Tin baths filled up from boiling water heated up in the wash tub over an open stove fire and having your bath with the family all sitting round listening to the old valve radio.



Older Than Dirt Quiz :

Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about.

Ratings at the bottom.


1.Candy cigarettes
2.Coffee shops with tableside juke boxes
3.Home milk delivery in glass bottles

4. Party lines on the telephone
5.Newsreels before the movie
6.TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels [if you were fortunate])
7.Peashooters
8. Howdy Doody
9. 45 RPM records
10.Hi-fi's
11. Metal ice trays with lever
12. Blue flashbulb
13.Cork popguns
14. Studebakers
15. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-3 = You're still young
If you remembered 3-6 = You are getting older
If you remembered 7-10 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 11-15 =You're older than dirt!


I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.

Don't forget to pass this along!!
Especially to all your really OLD friends....


VEST Say's: I managed all fifteen. S O bugger.

Also, one sided 78 rpm Bakelite records played on a wind up gramophone.

I always walked to school.

We ate our food slowly and enjoyed it, there were no seconds.

I had my first television at at age 32.

At my boarding school during summer, we all swam four lengths of the pool
before breakfast. During the whole year we showered every evening; forty at a
time using hard yellow laundry soap.

The first movie I ever saw was at the age of ten plus .
The Movie "England Forever, "Starring 'John Mills' - whose father was a former teacher at my
school.

John Mills was born on the school premises in 1907, a trifle before I studied there. Incidentally that movie was a trad thingy all about the
f#*(#$#@ Royal Navy. I believe that I saw it compulsory a dozen times or more.
I also have a copy here at home.

Today was 'Fathers Day' for many,
.
I was never privileged to communicate with my daddy, he died when I was a three year old.
HAPPY FATHERS DAY DAD XOXOXO.

11 comments:

christine. said...

Nice bit at the end.

Frank Cook said...

At nine minutes and nine seconds past nine in the morning the time will be: 09:09:09 09/09/09

Vest said...

Thanks for the info Frank.
However, This phenomena arrived in Sydney Australia AES time. Wait for it.
09 Hours Earlier than in the U/K.

Graeme. said...

So Sad!!!!!! but so True!!!!!!!













An Obituary printed in the London Times - not a joke and makes you
think

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,
Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows
for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago
lost in bureaucratic red tape.. He will be remembered as having
cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the
worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could
not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an
abortion.


Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by
his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and
do nothing.

Frank Cook said...

They say blondes are dumb, but I say they just think outside the box most of the time and like all of us they sometimes get the wrong end of the stick. To prove a point that most questions have more than one answer if you can think out side the box……..



A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon her arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'



'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?



'Just three questions' said St Peter.



'Which are?' asked the blonde.



'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '?



The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'



The third as you came up from Australia 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'



'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'



So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).



The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'



'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'



The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow..'



St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.



'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?'



St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'



The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'



'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'



'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'



St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.



A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven.. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'



The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'



'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'



'It's Andy.'



'Andy??' Exclaimed St Peter



'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.



This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'



'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled.' (sing along everybody!)



And the blonde entered Heaven...QED

Jimmy said...

The c-word is enjoying a rebirth. Doubly appropriate, given one of its main functions.

There've been a few decades' of feminist effort to reclaim derogatory words -- much like with "queer" or the n-word -- including by uber feminist Germaine Greer, and by Inga Muscio, who wrote a whole book about it. But the word has only recently started surfacing tentatively, naughtily and giddily in ordinary North American conversation.

Jimmy said...

It's questionable whether it's about feminism, the bored tendencies of pop culture denizens, always looking for new ways to impress and shock, or the sexualization of culture.

Nonetheless, men and women I know are trying it out, of late. Dropping the c-bomb, then furtively glancing around to gauge impact and collateral damage. Trying to appear casual when they feel anything but.


Magazines and newspapers are starting to use it, but still in hangman code (c---), or through hints and verbal gymnastics, similar to "He Who Should Not Be Named" in Harry Potter. And as you can see, though I'm all for treating the c-word as the equivalent, "dick," I still don’t feel right using the actual four letters here.

Unless you're a Brit

Jimmy said...

It's still "the rudest, crudest, most taboo term in the English language, the superstar of four-letter words," Kathleeen Deveny explains in a Newsweek piece.

"It is a radioactive epithet, guaranteed to get you a trip to HR and maybe even a slap in the face. It was at the heart of the controversy over Lady Chatterley's Lover, and it helped get Tropic of Cancer banned. The plot of Atonement, Ian McEwan's lovely and devastating novel, pivots on the term. (In the movie, the word is never spoken, but the camera zooms in as the protagonist pounds it out on a typewriter.) When a book alleged that John McCain had once called his wife Cindy one, the outrage was bipartisan."

Of course, this stigma doesn't exist over the pond. About a decade ago, when I was living in London, I heard a man call another man the c-word casually, which broke all the rules I knew. Man? Minor infraction? Joking? Teenage-like, I got a naïve thrill from the naughtiness. Then, I started to become almost immune to the word I heard it so much. And Newsweek reports usage is increasing even there: it's been used in The Guardian, the 188-year old British daily, 61 times this year. And a few weeks ago, it appeared for the first time on the cover.

Jimmy said...

SLOW DANCE



Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?


Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?

When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You'd better slow down
t.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?


Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,'Hi'


You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.

Jimmy said...

Mind and body


He argues that the main subject of Lady Chatterley's Lover is not the sexual passages that were the subject of such debate but the search for integrity and wholeness.


Key to this integrity is cohesion between the mind and the body for "body without mind is brutish; mind without body...is a running away from our double being."[4]



Lady Chatterley's Lover focuses on the incoherence of living a life that is "all mind", which Lawrence saw as particularly true among the young members of the aristocratic classes, as in his description of Constance's and her sister Hilda's "tentative love-affairs" in their youth:

So they had given the gift of themselves, each to the youth with whom she had the most subtle and intimate arguments. The arguments, the discussions were the great thing: the love-making and connexion were only sort of primitive reversion and a bit of an anti-climax.[5]

The contrast between mind and body can be seen in the dissatisfaction each has with their previous relationships: Constance's lack of intimacy with her husband who is "all mind" and Mellors's choice to live apart from his wife because of her "brutish" sexual nature.[6]



These dissatisfactions lead them into a relationship that builds very slowly and is based upon tenderness, physical passion, and mutual respect. As the relationship between Lady Chatterley and Mellors develops, they learn more about the interrelation of the mind and the body; she learns that sex is more than a shameful and disappointing act, and he learns about the spiritual challenges that come from physical love.





Neuro-psychoanalyst Mark Blechner identifies the "Lady Chatterley phenomenon" in which the same sexual act can affect people in different ways at different times, depending on their subjectivity.[7]



He bases it on the passage in which Lady Chatterley feels disengaged from Mellors and thinks disparagingly about the sex act: "And this time the sharp ecstasy of her own passion did not overcome her; she lay with hands inert on his striving body, and do what she might, her spirit seemed to look on from the top of her head, and the butting of his haunches seemed ridiculous to her, and the sort of anxiety of his penis to come to its little evacuating crisis seemed farcical.



Yes, this was love, this ridiculous bouncing of the buttocks, and the wilting of the poor insignificant, moist little penis."[8] Shortly thereafter, they make love again, and this time, she experiences enormous physical and emotional involvement:



"And it seemed she was like the sea, nothing but dark waves rising and heaving, heaving with a great swell, so that slowly her whole darkness was in motion, and she was ocean rolling its dark, dumb mass."[9]

Jimmy said...

when I die
bury me face down

so the whole Ducking WORLD and WALLY can kiss my ASS

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...