Thursday, 11 June 2009

Rosemary.The Reformed Brat.

An Excerpt from 'Waving Goodbye To A Thousand Flies'.

When Rosemary's elder sister in England passed away, she left an old
diary that was shown to me by a relative. I recorded some amusing
segments.
It stated. I had made cakes in the oven and was enjoying the break from my baby sister, little Rosemary, who had already smashed her porcelain doll with a pair of pliers.
This is typical of her behaviour. She will probably grow up to be a psychopath. Rosemary is a destructive young child.
I had to leave her to go for a pee and found her teddy bear blocking the ‘S’bend in the toilet pan.
Mother and father will be very annoyed that I was unable to control her tantrums,and my right arm is very sore from the bite marks Rosemary has inflicted on me.
I am worried about the radio, as the acid from the accumulator burned into the oak table when Rosemary knocked it over, Rosemary pulled out all the wires from the radio, I put them all back, but somehow one of the valve things flashed and crackled and now all I can get is Radio Finland or something.
Fortunately, mother returned before father, I explained that Rosemary's rage was alarming me.
My mother has told me that all young children at that age are demonic, whatever that is, mother said it was in their nature and doctors can only prescribe sedatives for their tormented parents.
In a later journal entry, Rosemary's elder sister stated that she was on a weekend off from her wartime job during the earlier part of the war.
Little Rosemary was living with her uncle and aunt in the country due to the frequent bombing in Portsmouth, neither uncle nor aunt worked due to some fictitious medical complaint that had been brought about by the food rationing in Great Britain, both uncle and auntie both drank a lot of homemade wine and Hornimans tea and bought the daily newspapers for horse racing information to support their gambling habits, they also grew hard-to-get, out-of-season tomatoes in a heated green house.
Auntie said Rosemary was a messy eater and loved throwing her breakfast cornflakes onto the dining room walls.
Uncle would laugh at Rosemary's antics, auntie frequently broke wind when in company of others.
Looking at my beautiful wife Rosemary, I am astonished by her adolescent antics and see only the opposite behaviour most of the time.
No one is 100% perfect, but I will give Rosemary a 99% plus!

17 comments:

Aggie said...

Many horrid a child grows up to be as sweet as honey pie ... me for instance. Lol! Good on you Rosemary.

Jimmy said...

does she have a pic of Rose in nappies?

Jimmy said...

I agree A is sweeter than apple pie
but I never tasted apple pie or A

Jimmy said...

Vest
I dont tink she has reformed

she still keeps breaking things
and my heart

Jimmy said...

Rosemary Ann Futi ??

Jimmy said...

dirty linen Rose


Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies
by John L. Spencer - 2004 - Fiction - 256 pages
Emma signed off in her last letter "I will Love you for ever, Sir John Leonard Spencer Hornblower, Your Obedient Mistress and Lover, Lady Carole Emma Adams. ...

Jimmy said...

dailygaggle.com: CONGRAT STATS for our FIFTY- FITH WEDDING ...
22 Jun 2008 ... Waving Goodbye To A Thousand Flies - John Leonard Spencer ... Governor General and his wife, Sir William P Deane and Lady Helen Deane. ...
dailygaggle.blogspot.com/2008/06/congrat-stats-for-our-fifty-fith.html -s5000.shtml - Cached - Similar

Keshi said...

Now thats Love Vesty! Im sure Rose is pretty chuffed :)


**Auntie said Rosemary was a messy eater and loved throwing her breakfast cornflakes onto the dining room walls.

LOL!

Keshi.

Jimmy said...

BREAKING NEWS

we are all going to die
the young, me and Rose

the old Vest and Wally


WHO DECLARES SWINEFLU Pandemic

Christine Marsh. said...

Auntie Rose gets a 99.9%+ from me. xxx

Jimmy said...

where did she loose the 0.1% ?
wud like to no

Jimmy said...

sometime I regret I was not born later

or K earlier
wud have loved to make some kids with K

Vest # 1 son said...

SMART ANSWERS 2008

The last one is a worthy winner.


6th Place

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:

'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.

'What are my choices?' the man asked.


'Yes or no,' she replied.

________________________________


5th Place

A flight attendant was stationed at the Qantas departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed at her

Without blinking an eyelid she said,

'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'

________________________________


4th Place

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a Woolworth's store but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

The assistant replied, ' I'm afraid not, they're dead.'

________________________________


3rd Place

The policeman got out of his car and approached the boy racer he stopped for
speeding.

'I've been waiting for you all day,' the policeman said.

The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'

________________________________


2nd Place

A semi-trailer driver was driving along on a country road.

A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge Ahead.'

Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.

Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car came up.

The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab

And said to the driver,

'Got stuck, eh?'

The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'



________________________________






SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008

A teacher at a TAFE College reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.

'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in
your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

A smart-arsed guy at the back of the room raised his hand and asked,

'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual
exhaustion?'

The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her
head and sweetly said,


'Well, I suppose you'd have to write with your other hand'.

Jimmy said...

Heather: hey
me: hiiiiiiiiiiiiii
where u been?
no blogging?
Heather: i have been
let me look up the link
me: want some more pics of u
Heather: ok
me: with glasses and widout
with clothes and

Jimmy said...

Heather: http://luckywed05.blogspot.com/
i will post new pics tonight
me: great
HNT?
Sent at 8:17 AM on Saturday
Heather: so how are you?
me: good
want to meet u guys
come to India

Jimmy said...

Heather: broke
lol
me: only one way ticket
rest is on me
INDIA living is cheap
Heather: oh yeah
me: also u die early
Heather: hahaha
me: less expenses

Jimmy said...

Heather: cool
me: so pack up NOW
just your tooth brush
Heather: lo
nice
me: u dont need clothes
Heather: hahaha
me: its hott as hell
Heather: i wont like it then
i love winter
me: will put u up in AC hotel

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...