Sunday, 14 June 2009

More weekend reading

Here we have a solution for the mess that we are in economically now .


I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly with seed.

Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food.

But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tiles, the chairs, the table .. everywhere!

Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket.

And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be .... quiet, serene.... and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let's see.
Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care and free education, and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's second grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English.

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one ' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than our flag are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder.

If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the poop.
..............

(2) RULES OF MARRIAGE -
as described by children.

1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.

-- Alan, age 10.

-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

-- Kristen, age 10.

2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.

-- Camille, age 10.

3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF 2 PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.

-- Derrick, age 8.

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.

-- Lori, age 8.

5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.

-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure).

-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

-- Martin, age 10.

6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they're rich.

-- Pam, age 7.

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.

- - Curt, age 7.



-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.

- - Howard, age 8.


7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child ).

8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8.

And the #1 Favorite is ...........
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck . -- Ricky , age 10.

10 comments:

rosemary said...

Jimmy. Re your suggestive amorous advances to the ladies frequenting this blog.
We would liken you to the Old Dog which chases cars and are not fast enough to catch them.
Even if you did catch one - You wouldn't know how to drive it.

Gordon the Baker. said...

A bloke five feet 2 inches tall volunteered for the army and was told to strip for his medical, then was told he was too short and his penis was also far too small.
He replied ." I'm not sure how you guys kill the enemy but I would prefer just to shoot them.

Keshi said...

**Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one ' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than our flag are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties

so true! Its so annoying. if they chose Aus to be there home, then shutup and live as an Aussie, and stop demanding for certain rights that should be demanded for back in their own lands.


LOL @ keep the chips n dip coming!


Keshi.

Jimmy said...

IMAGINE if there were no cuntry
then there wud be no immigrants

no religion too
no old men

no birds and their poop
no trees no grass to mow

a lazy mans paradise

Andrew B ims unwired. said...

Family Tradition
The Smith’s were proud of their family tradition.
Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower.
They had included Senators and Wall Street wizards.

They decided to compile a family history, a legacy for
their children and grandchildren.
They hired a fine author.

Only one problem arose - how to handle that great-uncle
George, who was executed in the electric chair.

The author assured the family he could handle the story as
tactfully as possible and was given the go-ahead to write the book.

The book appeared.


It said “Great-uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics
at an important government institution and was attached to his
position by the strongest of ties.
His death came as a great shock.”

Jimmy said...

I have stopped chasing LAKSHMI
I have taken SNYAS in Shillong Assam

Dont want to spend the rest of my life talking ISO 9000 to guys who wont lissen

Not searching for excitement with an S either, Rose

OSHO says STAY COOL like an observer
and ENJOY the FUNN

K said...

Jimmys testicles are withered and wasted his winkle liks a small dried twig his knees knock like the engine of an ancient car and his mind keeps thimking of yesteryear and missed oppotunity.

Jimmy said...

Yes
I have missed many opportunities
but GOSH

I didnt no K was open too

Jimmy said...

K,
My stars for tonight


The love you feel for the people you care deeply about will likely be more intense than usual today.

A need to show these individuals how you feel can come over you quite suddenly, inspiring you to reach out to friends and lovers
you have never seen in real

Jimmy said...

OSHO says

our love stories are silly
Romeo taking poison when he tot Juliet died

that is not love
says OSHO
that is dependence

even a baby does not die when his biological mother dies
he can be given milk by another nursing mother

love , true love happens btw 2 complete guys
they dont depend on each other

but they enrich each other
by their love and caring