Bikies not so tough after all:
BESIDES their tattoos, facial hair, crime links, grimy clothes and primitive behavioural standards, bikies don't actually have much going for them.
Except for their scary, scary reputation.
If there's one thing bikies pride themselves on, it's their reputation as the meanest, toughest guys in town.
Recently there has been a spate of Bikie involved altercations within the Sydney metropolitan area, punchups at the air port where shots were fired and a jewelery store holdup in broad daylight in a major shopping centre. Plus there have been inter bikie gang drive by shootings and fortunately deaths occurring within the bikie community, this should be done more often until these brain dead idiots wipe themselves out.
This is the sort of thing you'd expect someone to grow out of by the time they're actually old enough to get a motorcycle licence, but still. . .
So what happens when a bikie gang loses its fearsome rep?
As Australia's Hells Angels have discovered, this annoys their even bigger and meaner Hells Angels bosses in the US. The land of the brave and the free to shoot at any thing which annoys you, mindful of the old Minnesotan hag that rides an after dark V8 Broomstick but on Saturday arvo's has her beat up pickup truck with chained gun rack parked outside the Bikie and redneck boozer, where inside the riffraff tote tattoos like the 'Right to bear arms' while smoking wacky baccy and guzzling moonshine.
Hells Angels HQ - what a flash pad that must be - has issued an impatient directive to their pushed-around Australian branch to get with the program and proactively move ahead strategically with the latest cutting-edge bikie violence plan, going forward.
(Since bikie gangs now have quasi-corporate organisational structures, it seems only reasonable to address them in corporate-speak).
One thing about this doesn't exactly sit right, however.
If our bikies are such tough guys, such untamed rebels, what are they doing taking orders from a bunch of major assholes more than 12,000km away?
In any case I am reliably informed that most bikies particularly in America are into bestiality and most are Bisexual and are totally vulnerable singularly without their makeup and tough guy trappings.
Bikies are simply Wimps who have lost direction and dress to intimidate.
And now the political joke of the week. From bean counter Graeme.
Two Crocs Talking ......
Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of Lake Burley Griffin in Canberra, Australia.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it.'
'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'
'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.
'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'
'Down the other side of the lake near the parking lot by the Parliament House.'
'Same here. Hmm.. How do you catch them?'
'Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!'
'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase.'
Maybe a waterside parking lot for Bikies at the nearest Croc Spot is on the cards.