Wednesday, 11 March 2009

Reading Your Speedo's. And it's Great to Know.

No Girls! This does not mean getting a bird's eye view of that hunk wearing his Budgie smugglers. This is serious stuff which could threaten your livelihood and deflate your bank account.
It may be an on going sinister plot engineered by the National Road Transport Authority to raise funds to fix that pothole which caused that front ender with the Tele -Pole.
If you are a driver of any road vehicle you will inevitably discover your Speedometer inconveniently positioned with lots of other twaddle out of your line of sight below the dashboard.
In order to check your speed it is essential you cast your eyes momentarily from the road to under the dashboard, ( This in effect could cause an accident, no excuses; you must keep your eyes on the road).
(Catch 22) I have been reliably informed by a person in the motor vehicle repair business that, to install any speed indicating device above the dash board which enables the driver to avoid unnecessary speeding, is considered by the R T A to be an impairment of road vision ( And would create a loss in revenue).
A real situation occurred during a long weekend when double demerit points are deducted for speeding offences.
This old guy drove his wife to the supermarket in the pouring rain along a main highway (The Pacific Hwy near Lakehaven NSW Australia, near where I live). It was still raining when he returned from whence he came.
He later stated that, he was following a line of steady flowing traffic in both directions with others following him behind.
The RTA, Via the Speed Camera, fined the guy for both trips and doubled his demerit points (12)and his licence was confiscated plus he was gouged for about a 400 bucks fine.
So it is more than likely there were hundreds more who copt it on that fateful day.

BTW. Our street(Avenue sniff sniff) was resurfaced ten days ago, some good came out of it after all. And no, I was not the old Guy.
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GREAT TO KNOW If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an A T M. you can notify the Police by entering your Pin # in reverse. For example if your pin number is 1234 then you would put in 4321.The ATM recognizes that your pin number is backwards from the ATM card you placed in the machine.The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to the robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to help you. This information was recently broadcast on TV and it states that it is seldom used because People don't know it exists. ????Please pass this along to everyone possible. Australian Federal Police. AFP Web site: http://www.afp.gov.au <http://WWW.afp.gov.au/>

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A clever tale sent by Graeme , whose previous poem created on my last post sent ims@unwired.com.au into a spin over punctuation .
Bottle of Wine.
(Women will LOVE this one!) or if you are God fearing.
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers. The woman says, 'So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should be friends and live in peace for the rest of our days.'
Flattered, the man replies, 'Oh yes, I agree completely, this must be a sign from God! But you're still at fault...women shouldn't be allowed to drive..'
The woman continues, 'And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.'
She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.The woman takes the bottle, puts the cap back on and hands it back to the man.The man asks, 'Aren't you having any?'The woman replies, 'No. I think I'll just wait for the police...'MORAL OF THE STORY:Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

6 comments:

Jimmy said...

I dont have a passion for cars and mobikes

only women
mature women

with beeg boobies

Aggie said...

Ha, I like the clever woman one at the end. Way to go gal! Teach that rude male bugga to watch his mouth. Ha! Ha!
I'm not sure I believe the ATM one? What if your pin backwards is the same as someone else's genuine number???

Vest said...

Aggie: Your card is identified as 1234 by the ATM and you the owner identified by the ATM only when you type in your pin number.
Should you be accosted for your cash withdrawal by a local brigand, the reversal of your pin number sets the ATM into damage control state one, then should you be lucky the fuzz would be there quick smart in a day or two after you lost your dosh.

I shall suggest to the authorities that, after the humanoid within the ATM discovers the anomaly, a message is is ejected telling the customer his account only has 37 dollars eleven cents and only multiples of twenty can be issued.X.

kate ...fbt said...

hi vesty, typical male and a smart woman.luvs ya, kate.xxx.

Vest said...

Kate: what is fbt?

wally said...

How about multiples of fifty and a forty eight dollar 37 cents balance. cheaper by far.

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...