Monday, 23 February 2009

You Have to read this Nonsense

Ya gotta read this!!!

>
> This is a true story with an excellent outcome.
>
> On Thursday, 24th January 2002, Derek Guille broadcast this story on his
> afternoon program on ABC radio.
>
> In March 1999 a man living in Kandos (near Mudgee in NSW) received a
> bill for his as yet unused gas line stating that he owed $0.00.
>
> He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another bill and
> threw that one away too.
>
> The following month the gas company sent him a very nasty note stating
> that they were going to cancel his gas line if he didn't send them
> $0.00 by return mail.
>
> He called them, talked to them, and they said it was a computer error
> and they would take care of it.
>
> The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out
> the troublesome gas line figuring that if there was usage on the
> account it would put an end to this ridiculous predicament.
>
> However, when he went to use the gas, it had been cut off.
>
> He called the gas company who apologised for the computer error once
> again and said that they would take care of it. The next day he got a
> bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue.
>
> Assuming that having spoken to them the previous day the latest bill was
> yet another mistake, he ignored it, trusting that the company would be
> as good as their word and sort the problem out.
>
> The next month he got a bill for $0.00. This bill also stated that he
> had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps
> to recover the debt.
>
> Finally, giving in, he thought he would beat the gas company at their
> own game and mailed them a cheque for $0.00. The computer duly processed
> his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the
> gas company nothing at all.
>
> A week later, the manager of the Mudgee branch of the Westpac Banking
> Corporation called our hapless friend and asked him what he was doing
> writing cheque for $0.00.
>
> After a lengthy explanation the bank manager replied that the $0.00
> cheque had caused their cheque processing software to fail. The bank
> could therefore not process ANY cheques they had received from ANY of
> their customers that day because the cheque for $0.00 had caused the
> computer to crash.
>
> The following month the man received a letter from the gas company
> claiming that his cheque had bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and
> unless he sent a cheque by return mail they would take immediate steps
> to recover the debt.
>
> At this point, the man decided to file a debt harassment claim against
> the gas company. It took him nearly two hours to convince the clerks at
> the local courthouse that he was not joking.
>
> They subsequently helped him in the drafting of statements which were
> considered substantive evidence of the aggravation and difficulties he
> had been forced to endure during this debacle.
>
> The matter was heard in the Magistrate's Court in Mudgee and the outcome
> was this:
>
> The gas company was ordered to:
>
> [1] Immediately rectify their computerized accounts system or Show
> Cause, within 10 days, why the matter should not be referred to a higher
> court for consideration under Company Law.
>
> [2] Pay the bank dishonor fees incurred by the man.
>
> [3] Pay the bank dishonor fees incurred by all the Westpac clients whose
> cheques had been bounced on the day our friend's had been processed.
>
> [4] Pay the claimant's court costs; and
>
> [5] Pay the claimant a total of $1500 per month for the 5 month period
> March to July inclusive as compensation for the aggravation they had
> caused their client to suffer.
>
> And all this over $0.00.
>
> This story can also be viewed on the ABC website.
> Who employs these idiots??

Graeme.

14 comments:

Jimmy said...

hahahahahahahaha
that was funny

Jimmy said...

actually its a PJ
your jokes SUCK

Jimmy said...

a joke to be really funn ny must contain mamaries and tits and ass

Jimmy said...

and I dont care if your grandsons get a xes education in the bargain


any way it wont be long beore he chases skirts


like u used to do
and still do

when Rm is at not around

Aggie said...

Idiots and idiot systems that are bought on the cheap and have no flexibility to amend. Cheap software quite often does this kind of thing. Its how computer viruses got started in the first place. What a hoot. Good on him.

ramos said...

Jimmy do you rember me fro m school your nicker name wus wee willy winkel with a little tinkle. ramos

Vest said...

Jimmy : seems that another of your inadequacies has been exposed.

Vest said...

Aggie: Most of the poor quality software originates from the sweat shops in the Indian Sub/Cont, X.

Jimmy said...

Ecclesiastes 2
Vest,
Dust thou art
and to dust u shall return
all your stripes and medals will be recycled too

Vest said...

Jimmy; It is nice to be told I have something worth recycling.

Jimmy said...

there will be no takers
for your wee willie

wally said...

Poor jimmy -so sad about your tiddly winkle, my nickname at school was sausage.

Gordon the baker. said...

The stud had mounted the local bike taking several hours to complete his marathon session. he was asked about his unusual stamina.
'Ah' he replied, My prohylactic was a bike inner tube. I was sort of recycling it.

graeme said...

Bank - This is Brilliant !!!



Note to self: 'Cancel credit cards prior to death!

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today!


A lady died this past January, and ANZ bank billed her for February and
March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and
Then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had
been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to the ANZ Bank:

Family Member:
'I am calling to tell you that she died in January.'

ANZ:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member:
'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

ANZ:
'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member:
So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

ANZ:
'Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to
the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member:
'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

ANZ:
'Excuse me?'

Family Member:
'Did you just get what I was telling you . . . The part about her
being dead?'

ANZ:
'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member:
'I'm calling to tell you, she died in January.'

ANZ:
'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member:
'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

ANZ:
(Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member:
'No, I'm her great nephew.'
(Lawyer info given)

ANZ:
'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member:
'Sure.'
( fax number is given )

After they get the fax:

ANZ:
'Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I
can do to help.'

Family Member:
'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing
her. I don't think she will care.'

ANZ:
'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.'

Family Member:
'Would you like her new billing address?'

ANZ:
'That might help.'

Family Member:
' Rookwood Memorial Cemetery , 1249 Centenary Rd, Sydney Plot Number
1049.'

ANZ:
'Sir, that's a cemetery!'

Family Member:
'Well, what the **** do you do with dead people on your planet?'