Friday, 20 February 2009

Bonehead Muzzies Bugger Up Air Bus

Or maybe it was another Al Quueda stuffup.

Subject: FW: Airbus 340-600



THE BRAND SPANKING NEW AIRBUS 340-600, SAT IN ITS HANGAR IN TOULOUSE, FRANCE WITHOUT A SINGLE HOUR OF AIRTIME. ENTER THE ARAB FLIGHT CREW OF ABU DHABI AIRCRAFT TECHNOLOGIES (ADAT) TO CONDUCT PRE-DELIVERY TESTS ON THE GROUND, SUCH AS ENGINE RUNUPS, PRIOR TO DELIVERY TO ETIHAD AIRWAYS IN ABU DHABI.

THE ADAT CREW TAXIED THE A340-600 TO THE RUN-UP AREA. THEN THEY TOOK ALL FOUR ENGINES TO TAKEOFF POWER WITH A VIRTUALLY EMPTY AIRCRAFT. NOT HAVING READ THE RUN-UP MANUALS, THEY HAD NO CLUE JUST HOW LIGHT AN EMPTY A340-600 REALLY IS.



THE TAKEOFF WARNING HORN WAS BLARING AWAY IN THE COCKPIT BECAUSE THEY HAD ALL 4 ENGINES AT FULL POWER. THE AIRCRAFT COMPUTERS THOUGHT THEY WERE TRYING TO TAKEOFF BUT IT HAD NOT BEEN CONFIGURED PROPERLY (FLAPS/SLATS, ETC.) THEN ONE OF THE ADAT CREW DECIDED TO PULL THE CIRCUIT BREAKER ON THE GROUND PROXIMITY SENSOR TO SILENCE THE ALARM. THIS FOOLS THE AIRCRAFT INTO THINKING IT IS IN THE AIR.

THE COMPUTERS AUTOMATICALLY RELEASED ALL THE BRAKES AND SET THE AIRCRAFT ROCKETING FORWARD. THE ADAT CREW HAD NO IDEA THAT THIS IS A SAFETY FEATURE SO THAT PILOTS CAN'T LAND WITH THE BRAKES ON.



NOT ONE MEMBER OF THE SEVEN-MAN ARAB CREW WAS SMART ENOUGH TO THROTTLE BACK THE ENGINES FROM THEIR MAX POWER SETTING, SO THE $200 MILLION BRAND-NEW AIRCRAFT CRASHED INTO A BLAST BARRIER, TOTALING IT.

THE EXTENT OF INJURIES TO THE CREW IS UNKNOWN, FOR THERE HAS BEEN A NEWS BLACKOUT IN THE MAJOR MEDIA IN FRANCE AND ELSEWHERE. COVERAGE OF THE STORY WAS DEEMED INSULTING TO MOSLEM ARABS FINALLY, THE PHOTOS ARE STARTING TO LEAK OUT????

From Malcolm Prior, Ex R A F, Our Daily Gaggle Correspondent In the U K.

14 comments:

fatima. egypt. said...

you have fake copy fotos and insult my religion - i demand its removal.

Vest said...

Fatima: Being an honest person with itegrity, I can assure you these pics are real. I being a Non Prophet person unaligned to any segment of the Faith Industry means; I could not give a stuff regarding your inept archaic stupid religion which denigrates women such as your self. Try making demands within your own community, maybe a ritual stoning would result.

Graeme said...

PEANUTS

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully eats.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another handful, he asks the little old lady, "Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?"

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she re plied.

The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."

Jimmy said...

women are crazy
my daughter Tina had God given curly hair
she had it straightened out

she gott tired of the look
and now paid to get her curls back again

lower deck lawyer. said...

Vesty, loved your reply to Fatima.

Mind you it could happen to others taking delivery of a plane, like Irish, paki's and Indians,especially Jimmy.
Mike.

Vest said...

Jimmy should get his daughter to straighten out the Airbus.

Aggie said...

Oh dear. What bozos. It would be funny if it wasn't such an expensive mishap.

Anonymous said...

http://www.snopes.com/photos/airplane/etihad.asp

Vest said...

Thankyou Anonymous. Very interesting. However it was still a major cock up.

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