Friday, 14 November 2008

A Third of Britains Sperm Donors are Foreigners.

THEY shipped off their criminals to the colonies for stealing loaves of bread and handkerchiefs. Now Mother England wants her children back - or at least their DNA.

Up to a third of sperm donors in London fertility clinics are now foreigners and many are visitors from Down Under. One of the biggest clinics, the Bridge Centre, confirmed Australian backpackers were becoming donors to earn money to support their travels.

What you get with the 'grand tour' is very enterprising people who look at every single way of making a buck.

Would you ever consider donating your sperm for cash?

With an official report yesterday warning that donor numbers in Britain were critically low, the clinics are hoping more travelling Aussies will lend a hand - so to speak.

We need them. We need that winning spirit and we need left-handed batsmen so we're hoping that's in the gene set.
If you're on the grand tour and you're spending 12 months in the UK, here's something you can do to make a bit of extra money.
They should have it on the same 'to do list' as going to the rugby at Twickenham.
It's a good cause and if we get enough Australian donors you could end up colonising the UK instead of the other way round.

Fertility clinics can offer donors limited reimbursement for time lost at work and travel expenses. For 20 visits over the course of several months, the payments can add up to £500 ($1200).

But donors are no longer afforded anonymity after losing their rights when new laws were introduced in the UK in 2005. Children conceived through donated sperm can now contact their genetic fathers once they turn 18.

The profile used to be completely different. It used to be British students. But non-British donors are now easier to recruit.
They know no one will be able to find them in 18 years.

Other donors come from South Africa, Poland, the Ukraine and Colombia.

A British Fertility Society report yesterday showed there was a 40 per cent drop in new donors between 1991 (503 donors) to 2006 (296 donors). Donation rates plummeted in NSW last year when the State Government changed the legislation to give children rights to identify their donor.
Some fertility clinics reported fewer than 10 men on their books, with couples forced to seek treatment overseas or wait up to three years.

Infertility consumer group Access Australia said the need for donors had also dropped in the past decade, with technology now making it possible for infertile men to conceive with their partners.

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12 comments:

Aggie said...

Well, I'd really love to help you Brits out ... but ...

lol!

So nice of the Aussies to send some Colonial favours back home.

Vest said...

Its good to see young Australians lending a hand to boost the depleted British gene pool. Yet the extensive practice of Australian backpackers donating sperm in the Uk also raises troubling questions besides the proliferation of left handed batsmen called wayne and shane, like the breeding out of the whingeing syndrome, things will never be the same again.
Mind you the Kiwi's could do with a few left handers after yesterday's cricket debacle with the Oz Second eleven. Winning the toss provided you are a good tosser can give you a head start provided you protect your stump from those shiny red balls.

nigel uk said...

Subject: Post Office Vacancies.

A guy goes to the Post Office Centre to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?'
He answers 'Yes - caffeine'
'Have you ever been in the armed services?'
'Yes,' he says. 'I'm ex Army and I was in Iraq for two years.'
The interviewer says, 'That will give you 5 extra points toward employment,' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?
The guy says, 'Yes ...a bomb exploded near me and blew my testicles off.'
The interviewer tells the guy, 'O.K. In that case, I can hire you right now. Normal hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10 every day.'
The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM, why don't you want me to be here before 10 AM?'
'This is a Post Office job,' the interviewer says. 'For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.'

Frank Cook said...

A holy man was having a conversation with God one day and said, 'God , I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'

God led the holy man to two doors.

He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished.

They were holding spoons with very long handles, that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful.

But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

God said, 'You have seen Hell.'

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.

There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, 'I don't understand.'

It is simple,' said God . 'It requires but one skill.

You see they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves.'





Well it made me think,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Vest said...

Aggie: But what, x.

Frank: It seems I have spent my Whole life giving and helping and am still capable to do so without any ecclesiastical rulings to interfere with my judgement.
In any case should I be wrong I shall repent at the eleventh hour, and be more likely to achieve acceptance than a lot of dodgey kneelers with sordid past lives.
God; if there is such a person would be more wiser than he is made out to be.

rosemary said...

There is a great deal of truth in hubbie's last comment, I'm more of a hoper than he is.

chris b said...

A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?'
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, ˜about 2 hours.' The guy left.

A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, รข€˜How long before I can get a haircut?'
The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours' and™ the guy left.

A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, ˜How long before I can get a haircut?'
The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half.' The guy left.

The barber turned to a friend and said, 'Hey, Bill, do me a favour. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has t o wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back.'

A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.

The barber asked, 'So where does that guy go when he leaves?'

Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said, 'Your house.'

Aggie said...

Good luck with the op on the 18th Vesty. You take care of yourself. We want you around for this Xmas and many more afterwards.

Vest said...

I borrowed this nonsensical comment from another blog.


The Zombieslayer said...
I think this world needs more smart ass comments. It has become too serious and I hate too serious. Too serious = no fun.

As for dogs and past lives, I'm convinced in my previous life I was a dog.

Vest say's
Ok zom, I recall your constant "I Hate" rants for years now, and if that isn't serious what is?. It is not surprising you were a dog in a previous life. the traits have lingered on."Woof Woof"

kate...fb. said...

I haven't seen you at the club for more than a month, you Ok? luvs ya kate xxx.

Vest said...

Kate: Probably Friday or Sat this week, speak to you then.

Jimmy said...

I donate regularly

if K is having a baby
I am probably the father

same goes for Vest too

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...