Friday, 24 October 2008

'Purr'uviens Munch on Pussy for Dinner or a Late Night Snack.

Furious over cat-eating festival, lap this up.

Would you consider having Tiddles for nibbles?

A foodie event in Canete, Peru that celebrates the eating of cats for their supposed health and aphrodisiac qualities has been furiously criticised by animal rights group PETA.

Local residents chow down on hundreds of cats during the Gastronomical Festival of the Cat in the belief that a puss pasty, deep fried cat or tabby stew will help prevent bronchial disease and purr-rove favourable in the bedroom.

While most people may not be able to manage a meowful, mother-of-seventeen(obviously a staunch Catholic) Aura Francisca, 63, tells how she credits munching on moggies especially reared for the Day of Santa Ifigenia festival for keeping her fertile.

A PETA spokesperson said: “Having toured slaughterhouses for dogs in Taiwan, horses in Texas, and chickens and cows in Europe, PETA’s staff says the last thing we need to do is add yet another poor animal to the list of those being frightened and slaughtered for a taste.”

Are PETA wrong to criticise the Peruvian tradition of eating cats? Or does the idea leave you feline queasy?

The three pussies left in our care by #5 son, instead of digging up our garden could be popped in the pot for a tasty catserole in order to remeow my flagging libido.
'I said could' but I doubt it. Then again I reckon male rabbit stew loaded with testosterone would be equal to the task.

In China there are chow houses where one may choose a live fish to be cooked to your liking, or a choice of rats in cages specially bred for the table. Of course you could have a delicious Taiwanese traditional dish of Sum Bow Wow. or a gypsy favourite; roast hedgehog. It was in China that roast pork was invented; when a farmer locked his pigs in his house for safe keeping and returning home to find his house burned to the ground, he touched one of the hot pigs and then sucked his burned finger, 'Delicious'.

Five more potential pet recipes:


1) Cock-a-tiel-leekie soup

2) Hamster sandwich

3) Parrot cake

4) Collie-flower with cheese

5) Rat-atouille

14 comments:

Aggie said...

Ha Ha Ha v. funny Vest. No to eating my moggie for a tasty snack. She is more likely to nibble on me. (and frequently does bit a chunk off my ankle when Madam is displeased)
Should I pass away all alone, I have no doubt whatsoever that she will tilt her moggy-head to one side and tell my body, "well, waste not, want not." She would be able to feast very well for sometime I think.
As for the general practice of killing/eating animals for increased libido purposes ... no wonder so many world species are on the verge of extinction.
What, may I ask, will they do when it all runs out ... as it will. Start feasting on each other (again) I suspect.
Find a good cave now.

Wally said...

My mum still makes rabbit stew, I think it tastes better than chook. But I havent had a feed of pussy lately

kate...fb said...

Hi vesty , do you
like chinese food? cos I don't, it would'nt surprise me if they used dog food or something horrible. hope you are well, luvs ya kate xxx.

Vest said...

Aggie: it seems your moggie would be more privileged than I when it comes to nibbling your ankle,lucky beggar.x

Wally: Comment understood, naughty boy.

Kate: living in Singapore Malaya and Hong Kong, local chow was off the agenda, having a wife and young children it was ill-advisable and really I suppose unnecessary.x

Vest said...

Hong Kong.
This outpost of the British Empire was greatly favoured by our family.
We especially appreciated its social and recreational activities. The
consumption of Chinese food was minimal by our family due to the
unhygienic methods used for its preparation (like Peking duck hanging
out in the sun with flies buzzing around.) There were also other unseen,
unacceptable culinary activities like the mysterious ingredients in
oriental cooking. It has often been said that Malta was the island of wells,
bells, and smells, but it pales when compared to the smells floating
around Hong Kongs streets. There are some you can live with and others that strike deep fear into you. The most horrendous for me was the
Jordan road pig market on a hot day.
Another excerpt from my memoirs.vest.

Jimmy said...

come to goa
to eat dukhrache maas
sorpotel, vindaloo

chris b said...

Cooter and Gomer's friend Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.

The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Cooter and Gomer.

The three men had always done everything together.

Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet,

Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'

The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, ain't Stanley.'

The mortician thought this was rather strange.

So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body.
Gomer looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up.
Roll him over.'
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Stanley'

The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'
Gomer said, 'Well, Stanley had two assholes.'
'What? He had two assholes?' asked the mortician.
'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say:

'There's Stanley with them two assholes.

Jimmy said...

born in the US of A, tuff life

Income

1000 dollars per day, in my line of work in USA
100 dollars per day in India


Outgoings

in USA , in INDIA

Rent :
1000 dollars per month in USA .... In India : 20 dollars per month (owned appartment)
Gas : ? , ........... none: we have cheap BEST buses and local trains

motel : 100 dolars per day in CA ........ in GOA Rs 3000 Rs for a month in Calangute sea face
in GOA u can do skinny dipping too in the sea
parties all night, every night

fone bill and net : 200 dollars per month ? . ...... 450 Rs net: 1000 Rs mobile
Food : 1 dollar burger ........ Rs 5 vada paav

Maid servant: none . 1000 Rs per month making chappathis,, cleaning house
PS: Sharda behn is sexy, she also does: hair dying, massage, no she dont sex, she is a respectable lady, but others do for a few Rs more

pay toilet : 1 dollar ? , ....... FREE, u pee on the road and shit too if its Urgent



.
average rent here is about 900-1200.00 monthly
food for 6 people is about 200.00 weekly
gas is 2.77 per gallon
car insurance can range between 60-250.00 per month depending on the type of car
Posted by Jimmy at 7:08 PM

Vest said...

jim: It would much clearer if if you quoted ALL of your figures in either U/S Dollars or Ind/Rupees.
Wages and costs are related to the country where you reside, standards of living in India are wider between haves and have nots in comparison to Oz, USA, U/K.
Most employed people in Oz have every opportunity to own their own home, most of which depends on wise budgeting and minimising excesses.

Jim; What is dukhrache maas sorpotel, vindaloo?.
sounds like sauteed dogs bollocks with a hand cleaner dressing.

Strumpet said...

I don't think I could eat cat.

But, more power to those that can.

I do eat oysters.

I could probably do a roast hedgehog though.

Vest said...

Prior to a hundred years ago, most Britons in the lower order for centuries survived on turnips nettles cabbage and oats, plus rabbits hares hedgehogs pigeons and f/w fish.
Cats were taboo as it was thought that witches with cats were responsible for anything which went wrong within the neighbourhood.
Ritual burning at the stake was a Christian method of cleansing evil.
being too smart was not a good idea, it was thought at that time in question that, knowledge was a privilege for only the wealthy.

Hmm, Ignorance is bliss, its folly to be wise.

Vest said...

Vest said...
Having mulled over whether to publish or not , I decided it would provide some hilarity and a warning to the foolhardy.
This is true.

last week I was talking to this new age guy who had multiple rings on ears fingers and else where, yep and one on his dick knob, I had heard of his bragging about this earlier, however it turned out to be a disaster when his girlfriend got the ring jammed between a gap in her teeth and she panicked. You can guess more or less what happened, without stretching a point.

Jimmy said...

as u grow older ...

u acquire more knowledge
more wisdom


but the body grows weaker
u cant chase women as u once did

u cant play football and hockey
your performance in bed also falls

but u still desire women

Anonymous said...

GROWING OLD IS MANDATORY
GROWING UP...OPTIONAL


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The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know . I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel.

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester, we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed, she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry. I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed, she cleared her throat and began: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!"

"There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything, I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability."

"The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year's end, Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation, Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

If you read this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it! Remember, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL




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Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...