Thursday, 4 September 2008

Future not pretty for 'Ugly Mayor'.More Men available than Women.

What began as a 'beauty disadvantaged story in the outback town of Mount Isa has become bigger and uglier. The sordid story unfolded two weeks ago in the two horse township far out beyond the black stump in rural Queensland Australia.
Furious residents are up in arms-protesting to the suggestions of this mining town Mayor John Malony, who has called for unattractive ladies to move to his town which in his view, is over populated by sex deprived miners and it would help to redress the gender imbalance.
Fellow female councillors are labeling his suggestions as degrading and disgusting and he should be fired from office. It was suggested at a unofficial gathering that the women town elders would be deprived of their pick of the huge number of available men.
Mr Malony the Mayor has stated the situation has blown out of proportion and he was telling it like it is in small towns, and he was a bloke who respected women.
He further suggested that if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are 'beauty disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa
where happiness awaits.
Federal MP Bob Katter hailed the Mayor a 'National hero" and said he had succeeded in drawing attention to the problem of attracting women to the bush.
The town is desperately short of women. We just haven't got women here.
It seems that women taking up this offer whether they are ten drinks beautiful or not, are guaranteed a date or even wedding bells and are advised to leave their bedroom toys behind as they will be a thing of the past and only the real thing is on offer.
So if you are a contrary Mary, a twelve stone fairy or a bulging hairy, your chances are as good as a Rosa or liza to become mounted in horny outback Mount Isa.

Vest, Daily Gaggle.

17 comments:

Vest said...

All enquiries to Mr Malony, Mayor Mt Isa, Queensland, Australia.4825
No, I do not have any other address. or email details.
Neither do I answer enquiries.

I shall be traveling down to the south coast tomorrow to report on a society wedding in the sleepy hollow town of Huskisson, back by monday, see you then, Vest.

Chris B said...

Maybe they should just open a gay bar

Chris B said...

As Austen Tayshus might say...

"Any-Jill-a-do, cause they can't mount Isa"

Aggie said...

Ha Ha ... like women will be beating down the door to get there ... (not). We women are pretty fussy about taking on ugly bugly males too! Teach them to judge by appearances only. Tell them to all get cosy with the local sheep instead. Ha Ha Ha!

Vest said...

Ah dear sweet and pure Aggie,and beautiful of course, I wouldn't dare suggest you need to take a trip to Mount Isa.

Aggie. There are no sheep at Mt Isa. But if these guys dip out, I suggest a shipment of specially trained Ewe's from the land of the long white cloud would not go amiss. Need to wear shades optional.
Following comment a snippet of interest.

Vest said...

Excerpt from memoirs.

The summer of 1936 wasn’t as fun as the one I had spent in my beloved Charlham, but I did take time to enter the flower show. My contribution was a collection of different grass stems, which even I thought was a remarkable showpiece among many mundane floral exhibits. This attracted the church ladies and a princely sum of two shillings and six pence for first, second, and third prizes. (It was a singular exhibit.)
The exhibit was displayed in All Saints Church (or was it Holy Trinity?) for the Harvest Festival Floral Display, where mostly yokels sang ‘All good gifts around us are sent from heaven above‘, etc. A bier for transporting coffins was kept inside the entrance of the church. The interior of the large church had a peculiar smell. Its high wooden rafters were in a terrible state because deathwatch beetles were eating the wood. As a child, I wondered if these creatures were emerging from the bodies in the graveyard.
The two shillings and sixpence that I won (about twenty-five cents) were begrudgingly shared with my foster brother, who was a right blockhead. Another three pennies were invested in the ‘guess the weight of the pig’ competition on the advice of Gerald Green, my foster parent. His local nickname was ‘Ram,’ which I used only once. I wondered what dark secret Ram was hiding. I believe the answer came to me during my first career while listening to sailors’ stories about lonely sheep farmers, particularly those in New Zealand. Their peculiar romantic liaisons with their woolly charges had me thinking that ‘Ram’ may have had intimate contact with the woolly maidens he was entrusted to shear.
My guess for the weight of the pig was spot on.

lower deck lawyer said...

Vesty old mate,your last two posts and comments all, are all great stuff, Have a good trip, Mike.

graeme said...

LOVE THIS ONE HA HA HA HA HA
The onion and the Christmas tree
The family is sitting at the dinner table. The son asks his father,
"Dad, how many kinds of boobies are there?"
The father, surprised, answers, "Well son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's
Breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties and forties, they
Are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, you see them, and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter says, "Mom, how
Many types of "willys" are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and
Answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties, his
Willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it's
Like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree??"

"Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."

Aggie said...

We have plenty of ewes to spare over here Vest, but I thought Auzzie had it's fair share too? Oh well, maybe they can try the camels.

Jimmy said...

http://ugotafriend.blogspot.com/2008/09/why-are-we-so-uptight-about-sex.html

David B. said...

Thank you DAD for always being there when I needed you and in guiding me to become a better person.

HAPPY FATHERS DAY
Lotts of Love David

Jimmy said...

Friends are not forever, my love
Pithaly died

visit Pithaly



2 missed calls on my mobile
I called up

Hi Pithaly whats up
Nishi was sobiing

Pithaly has gone she said
I was shaken

I had joked with him just the day before
it was a massive heart attack that got him the previous night

told his wife he was working late
but I bet he was blogging


Posted by Jimmy at 8:48 PM 0 comments Links to this post

Jimmy said...

heyyy Vest

lets have some funn
u write my gravestone
I write yours

I write K's too
u write for LD Lawyer
and Wally

Jimmy said...

Pithaly and I
we were langoti dosts

which means I seen his
and he seen mine

we had no secrets btw us
Pithaly was not a saint

he had many faults and defects
but the good in him outweighed the bad

I needed money
I borrowed Rs 6K from him about a year back

just recently I told him
I am still broke

No worries dude no hurry he said
first pay your taxes and stuff

that was Pithaly
I will miss him


Posted by Jimmy at 8:48 PM 1 comments Links to this post

Jimmy said...

here lies K
she finally got laid

wally said...

hey jimmie Your epitaph.
Here lies Jim Just another dim sim.

Vest said...

Just to get something clear. If you are reading this and it is mean't for you, you will know who I mean. If you have sent it that's OK K, If you have forgotten again that's ok k too, If you find it too-too bothersome, so shall I.