Monday, 8 September 2008

Back home again.

Returned from Huskisson late yesterday from attending our #2sons 3rd wedding. A very lavish affair which was attended by about 300 people on our sons 5 acre W/front property. Everything went to plan apart from the six inches of rain which failed to put a damper on things, adequate cover had been planned beforehand.
It was like a huge family reunion, but without any bitching for once. well I'm not saying anything untoward to keep the peace. The reception went on from 330 pm to past midnight when by that time we were full to the gunwales. Our son Christopher drove our car there and back other wise I would have had to wait two days for the breathalyzer to read minus.
Well that's about all; it's hardly something a mere male can elaborate on apart from wishing the happy couple the usual condolences and of course the best of luck in the future, and hope they will live happily ever after.
Vest.

21 comments:

Vest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vest said...

Just to get something clear. If you are reading this and it is mean't for you, you will know who I mean. If you have sent it that's OK K, If you have forgotten again that's ok k too, If you find it too-too bothersome, so shall I.

Ra-Ra-Ra-Rachel said...

I too hope that your son finds happiness! The wedding sounds beautiful!

graeme said...

Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
! !
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh.

Vest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vest said...

Pat: You sent this message. I was looking at the website on the sea school at Poole and saw your name as being a pupil at about the same time as my father. He was the same age as you I believe. His name was Roy Frank Taylor and I wonder if you knew him at all.
Kind regards Pat, Tues Sept 9 08

Pat: I was never at Poole but at WNTS At Nth Elmham Norfolk. In the late forties, students from WNTS were transferred to Poole. the down turn in the intake of Cannon fodder for the Royal Navy supplied by the WNTS College created an economical problem for the administrators, so the WNTS college was sold, and partly demolished around the early 50's. Unfortunately I cannot recall your fathers name from around 300 students, and I left WNTS around 0900 Wed January 7 1942(I wonder why I remember that so clearly?)
If you call again please leave a forwarding address, Tel No or Email address. thank you for calling. Vest

Jay said...

I've never seen such a short wedding post before.

Vest said...

Rachel: Tony my son should be aware of any pifalls now after living with his third bride for 14 years, his two married daughters from two previous marriages have snared well off husbands leaving him with minimal responsibilities.
Also Rebekah; Tony's new bride, is 13 years his junior.

Vest said...

Hi Jay: Weddings-yawn- seen and been to far more than Liz Taylor.
Few get to the "Till death do us part" thingy.
Some love rats accelerate that segment of the vows but wind up in the slammer. Very few wedlocks go the distance these days compared to a century ago, lack of foresight, guts, selfishness the main culprits. but the key issue is being able to compromise.
Jay BTW: Did you Understand the 'Hat size' comparison?

Vest said...

From my Memoirs.

In all my previous affairs, not once was I the leading force during the inaugural proceedings. Nonetheless, I found the invitations to be too exciting to pass up, despite the fact that in most cases they ended in sadness or a stalemate.
My association with these dear ladies gave me a quality of life I had never before experienced. Their integrity was of the highest order. Although I was torn away from them through no fault of our own, those beautiful people provided the template for my expectations of a lifetime partner.
These dear ladies, I am now able to say, were highly successful, and I truly thank them.
There is no doubt in my mind that some friends and relatives who I love dearly will view my pre-marital romps and escapades with derision or contempt. They may ask, “How could you resurrect your past in this manner? How unthoughtful!” Well, as unthoughtful as it may seem, I am aware of many indiscretions committed by my own family and friends, and would be pleased to hear from those who have never dilly-dallied during their present or former relationships before they pass through the pearly gates.
It would be mindful for all to remember that my last ‘escapade’ is still successfully ongoing after fifty-two years. By the way, for those who have not made this happen, the secret to making a relationship work for both partners is for each person to make the other person’s needs their top priority. This tricky concept is also called ‘compromise.’
Having received all the motherly care I could hope for, I felt I had something to give in return from what I had learned.
My knowledge of civilian life was minimal, so I started preparing for the inevitable by learning from the available sources. At the age of twenty-five I was about as dim as a Toc H lamp with a useless, nautically indoctrinated brain. Over the course of two years, I learned about local politics, lawful procedures, banking, housing, civil employment, general civil infrastructure, and my responsibility regarding each of them.
By the time I married my beautiful Mary, who possessed all the qualities necessary for a happy, rewarding marriage, I had taken on a protective role (not motherly!) My lovely Mary was eight years younger than me, a beautiful, grown woman at nineteen years of age. Mary was then and still is the love of my life.
Mary, to whom I have now been married for fifty years and whom I have known for fifty-two years, is always a joy to be around and a great source of happiness. She is also, I may respectfully add, a great lover. Our unions have been more than gratifying. The proof in the pudding, so to speak, was her successful delivery of our five, healthy sons.
Our first words to each other in the morning and the last words at night are “I Love You” or occasionally, “After that, love, I reckon we could do with a cup of tea.”

Vest said...

Jay: Members of my family will read what I am writing. In the case of a 'as I percieved it' post, it may not have had the same tinted spectacle view of a dissident few.

Jimmy said...

I started by giving her hugs and kisses - usually on the cheek - every chance I got. She got hugged and kissed whenever we were alone. When I first saw her in the morning, she got not only a hug, but also a "friendly" kiss on the lips.

I did the same thing when I left for work every day. At first she seemed a bit tense about being kissed on the mouth, but after a few days, she was obviously looking forward to it. In addition to my morning and afternoon kisses and hugs, I began hugging her and kissing her other times during the day. I wanted her to get used to being hugged and kissed for no real reason.

Anonymous said...

As much as possible, I tried to add other ways of touching her to what I was already doing. I loved running my fingers through her hair and did that a lot. She seemed to like that almost as much as I liked doing it."You really like my hair, don't you?" she murmured one day while I was combing my fingers through those silken tresses."You better believe I do," I told her. "I've liked playing with your hair ever since you taught me to help you cut it."She giggled softly. "Most boys wouldn't think that was so neat," she said."If their mother was as gorgeous as you are and had pretty hair like yours they would have," I replied. "If they didn't, there was something wrong with them." I bent, brushed her hair aside, and kissed her neck. I liked how the silky strands felt against my face. Mother shuddered when I did that."Did you like that?" I asked her.She nodded her head. "When you do that, it makes me feel kinda tingly inside," she said softly."It's supposed to," I told her.She turned her head and looked at me. "But...should...should you...you know...be doin' stuff...stuff like that...to...to me?" she asked."I'm making you feel good, right?" I said.She nodded.My heart was starting to pound.

Her comment told me I was getting to her in exactly the way I wanted to. "Why would it be wrong for me to make my mother feel good?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I...I dunno," she murmured. "I...I was just wonderin', you know?"I nuzzled into her neck and kissed her there again. And again I felt the little shudder run through her. "Well, don't worry about it," I told her after I finished nuzzling her. "I'd never, ever, do anything to hurt you."She looked up at me, smiled, and took my hand. "I know you won't," she told me.By the end of the first month, my mother had to be the most hugged, kissed, caressed, and tickled woman in the county.

Anonymous said...

And I'd started to notice that she was actually leaning into me a little when I hugged her, and it was starting to feel as if she was returning my kisses with more and more forcefulness, too.

I was sitting at the breakfast table one morning, nearly a month after I'd begun my seduction efforts, when mother, who was standing at the stove, surprised me with a question. "What's it supposed to feel like when...?"I turned to look at her and was surprised to see that her face was bright red. "What's it supposed to feel like when what?" I asked.

I didn't think it was possible for her face to get redder, but it did. "When...when you...when somebody...when they do...um...sex?" she asked.It wasn't a question I expected to hear, but it certainly was a welcome one.

I stood up, walked over to where she stood, and took her into my arms. "It is supposed to feel better than anything ever felt," I told her. "It's supposed to be the best feeling in the world."She pressed her face against my chest. "Did...when you...when you did sex with them girls at college...did...was it...was it...like that...with...with them?" she murmured."It felt really good," I told her. "But I've never had a sexual experience that is as wonderful as I've heard described in things people have written."She leaned back in my arms and looked at me, wide-eyed. "You...you mean people write about doin' sex?" she asked. "You're puttin' me on, right?"I shook my head and smiled.

Anonymous said...

"It's called erotic literature," I explained. "People write stories, sometimes books, about what it's like to be in love and to make love.""Where do you find stuff like that?" she asked."There's a lot of it on the internet," I told her. "There are other sites about love-making, too. I saw one called 'The Clitoris.com' a while back. It has a lot of information about love-making and is written by and for women."She looked puzzled. "You mean it tells you how to do sex?" she asked."Sort of," I told her. "But there's more to it that that. It's a guide women can use to learn about their bodies, and about love-making.""Are there a lot of dirty pictures and stuff?" Mother asked."There are some illustrations," I said. "Things that can help women learn more about what pleases them and how to do it.""Do...do you...um...read...that...that stuff...a...a lot?" she stammered."I like some kinds of erotic literature," I told her.

"Stories that are well-written and believable. Some of it is junk."Mother had a very sad look on her face as she gazed into my eyes and shook her head. "There's a whole lotta stuff I don't know about, isn't there?" she asked. "I mean, I'm just a dumb old country hick, right?""You're not dumb," I snapped. "Don't ever let anybody tell you that. You're a bright woman.""Then how come I don't know much?""Because you haven't had the chance to learn," I said. "Remember what my teacher wrote on those papers you wrote and I let her grade back when I was in high school?"She blushed a little and nodded."Miss Dixon said they were good, didn't she?"She nodded again. "She said they were 'well written and insightful,'" she murmured.

Anonymous said...

I smiled, thrilled that she still remembered the compliment verbatim. And that it was a good memory I'd arranged for her to have. "See?" I said. "You're not dumb, and it isn't just me saying so. It's just that there are things you haven't had the chance to learn.""You mean like about doin' sex?""I mean about making love," I said. "Would you like to learn?""I guess," she said. "But what good will it do me? Your father, he ain't never gonna learn anything about that.""Let's forget about him for now," I said. "If you want to learn, I'll help you.""OK," she said."I can download and print information for you to read," I said, "or you can use the computer and read it there.""Print it for me," she said. "I...I still don't feel right usin' your computer."I can't tell you how excited I was feeling.

My plan was working, and things were moving forward...and Mother was setting the pace. "OK," I said.I printed out a lot of information from the web site I'd told Mother about and gave it to her. "There's a lot of information here," I said. "Take your time. And you can ask me if you have any questions."She took the sheaf of papers and held them gingerly, as if she wasn't sure whether she wanted them or not. Then she smiled. "It's a good thing your father can't read, isn't it?" she said."It sure is," I said. "But there are some pictures in there. If he sees them he's going to wonder what you're up to.""Pictures..." She leafed through the pile of papers and turned bright red again when she saw some of the drawings of people making love. "Oh, Lord!" she exclaimed. "I don't know 'bout this.""If you want, I can white the pictures out," I said.Mother, still blushing, looked at me and smiled.

Anonymous said...

Don't do that," she said. "If I'm trying to learn something, maybe the pictures will help."I grinned back at her. "Maybe," I said. Thoughts of what she might learn from both the text and pictures were causing considerable turmoil in my groin.I wondered what would happen when my mother read the information I'd given her. I knew what I hoped would happen, but wasn't sure whether it would or not.

Anonymous said...

the prodigal son?

Jimmy said...

those who seek the Word of God
will find it everywhere


not only in the Bible
even in a good porn story


- annony mouse
Posted by Jimmy at 5:00 PM

Vest said...

HI There Zombieslayer, I know you read this post as your most recent post has an unusual sentence obviously borrowed from this post. in any case my stats indicate your mob of WETS and Rednecks are reg callers.
Also would you be so kind as to remove your obscene comment from your previous post, that which relates to my family. Vest.

Vest said...

To W I M Concern. Do you know that it takes 90 seconds to walk twenty paces then sit at a computer and type an email message of approx twenty words and email it to a regular address. Then again it would depend on the writers academic quals and capability to absorb info after studying a ten word text no fewer than a dozen times and write a reply to my request, maybe a procrastination plague has manifested itself in the Sydney area. OI!!! Pull your finger out.

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...