Sunday, 10 August 2008

"Oh To Be In England"....Nominated for 'Joke of the Year'

This is far too close to the truth for my liking,


A Somalian arrives in Birmingham as a new immigrant to the UK
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, 'Thank you Mr. Englishman for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!' The passer-by says, 'You are mistaken, I am Pakistani.'

The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. “Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in the UK!'
The Person says, 'I not British, I am Polish.'

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful things in England!' That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from India, I am not British!'

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you British?' She says,” No, I am from Africa!' Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the British people?'

The African lady checks her watch and says...'Probably at work!!!!!!

22 comments:

Jim said...

'You are mistaken, I am indian.'

I am saby, the nut

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahaha
the Queen is f####d

saby said...

Don't Leave 'Em Hanging

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.
When the Head Nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"



Love it? Spread the laughter. Hate it? Think you can do better?

rosemary said...

Vest is unwell and will be unable to post or visit for a while, sorry, but he will be back sap.

Rosemary.

Keshi said...

LOL good one. So who's paying all the taxes ha! :)

Keshi.

Aggie said...

I hope Vest gets well soon. Liked the wee story/joke.

Anonymous said...

My wife came home the other night and told me to take off her blouse.

Then she told me to take off her skirt.

Then she told me not to wear her clothes anymore.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jim said...

Get well soon Vest
I miss u


OK OK OK
Aggie missses u too

and K didnt hear

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

hihihihihi

Vest said...

Derogatory remarks and unseemly suggestions will only be permitted if accompanied by a navigable address, Weak kneed Wimps hiding behind an anonymouse address will in future be deleted.

Rosemary , For Vest.

Davo said...

Luv ya .. Vest

Davo said...

Vest, long story. Am an Australian. My parents and at least one set of great grand parents were sprogged in the environs of this land called Australia. How many generations does it take to be "indigenous"?.

Rajan said...

it must be that creep Jim

Rajan said...

Get well soon
and then we go and beat up Jim



he stole my girl

tqmcintl said...

Scouts honor
it wasnt me Rosemary

tqmcintl said...

Rajan
I didnt steal your girl
she did




she stole my heart

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
blogging crap .....


??? cocunut oil!!
where in heavens did tat come from..

i mean hot men are hot;
jus as hot women are hot...
and the degrees of hot varies with every other person!
n it doesn't mean that if ya look at hot men, it mean either they or ya are shallow!
and it's not like, if women have oiled hair n jasmine flowers, they ogle at her no end ryte???
and if the woman happens to e 'the wife', it's not that they determine her character or warmth by how hot she is!
......
neways, The remaining segment censored, not nice to belittle some one from another blog . deal with it on her blog. that is if you are not barred. Vest.

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...