Sunday, 6 July 2008

Water melon the new Viagra. plus a Crab With Bite.

Who needs Viagra? Watermelon has the same effect.

If you want to feel sexy the answer is to suck on a melon...

The fruit contains citrulline which boosts the blood supply in much the same way the sex drug Viagra does.

Citrulline is turned into an amino acid called arginine when mixed with the body's enzymes.

Arginine boosts nitric oxide, which relaxes blood vessels, the same basic effect that Viagra has, to treat erectile dysfunction and maybe even prevent it.

But don't dump the Viagra just yet, you'll have to eat at least six cups of watermelon - mostly the rind - to get the same effect as the drug.

And that can lead to stomach cramps and lots of trips to the toilet as the fruit is also a diuretic.
--------------------------------------

The crab with giant claws

Say hello to Claude the crab - but if you shake hands, do mind his grip.

Living up to his nickname, his claws are bigger than a man's mitt and those powerful pincers could snip your fingers clean off.

Experts reckon the 3ft-wide, 17.5lbs male is 50 years old.

Diver Paul Martin, 40, found the beast in a barrel on the seabed in Portland Harbour, Dorset, and gave him to the Weymouth SeaLife Centre.
Paul, from Yetminster, Somerset, said: "It would be wrong to eat such a fine specimen."

Douglas Lanfear, who runs dive boat Blue Turtle, said: "It was the biggest crab I have ever seen. It was big enough to feed 10 people."

Claire Little of the SeaLife Centre added: "Edible crabs do get this big but you rarely see them as they're hiding or have already been put in a sandwich."

51 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have it on good authority that this is a true story: Among the many famous utterances of Neil Armstrong's upon setting foot on the moon, there was one baffler. It was: "Here's to you, Mr. Kuwalski." Years later Neil finally fessed up that he had once accidentally kicked a ball into his neighbors', the Kuwalski's, yard. As he was stealthily prowling around, looking for the ball, he heard an argument going on between Mr. and Mrs. Kuwalski. Apparently he was trying to get her to agree to some oral sex. Her final irate comment was: "I'll give you oral sex. The day they put a man on the moon."

Anonymous said...

India has the largest population
second only to China

we eat a lott of aphro fruits


read

ENG CRICKETER said...

A sign on the sit down toilet for English visitors at the Wankhede Stadium in Bombay India reads.

Sahib.
Please stand high above the seat, as the Crabs in here jump fifteen feet.

Anonymous said...

1. What have you got?
no entry, so I am posting here
2. What have you lost?
what i didn't get
3. What do you see?
what i dont want to see
4. What has been censored?
what i want to see
5. What do you hear?
lovers making love
6. What has been silenced?
the sounds of orgasm
7. What do you feel?
boobs
8. What is still untouched?
bung hole
9. What have you tasted?
pussy
10. What do you abstain from?
nothing
11. What do you speak?
what she dont like to hear
12. What do you mute?
flattering comments

Vest said...

Eng Cricketer: T'would strike fear into any brave man to encounter the likes of Claude the Crab crawling near his testemonials. A Claw not to Ignore.

Jim said...

sit down toilet
HAHAHAHAHA

Anonymous said...

Shucks
she has them eating out of her hands

240 comments so far

Anonymous said...

Annony Mouse posted this:


This one's supposed to be a growing psycho doc. A tight spanking across her small ass would set her right for sure.

She is really a fossil.

Why are almost ALL blogger girls ugly??

At 27 March 2008 08:57, Blogger Solitaire said...

Hahah..you are so funny!

Dating? You know what? I never have gone out on a date! Serious...when I was in college, all that was a strict no no..And these days kids talk about it like as if they were born to date.

I do feel like a fossil when I read such things..

Dating etiquette? GAWD! I dunno what all that is about. If I did go out on a date, something I do might be misinterpreted just because I do not know the goddamn rules! That is scary!

Anonymous said...

Shit

I dont no why I am drawn here every few minutes

hasnt she arrived yet?

Lord Sedgwick said...

I'm a *melon* man from way back.

(Must stop channeling Benny Hill!)

Anonymous said...

Stupidosaur said...
Anti Rape Device:
-----------------

Maybe we should have devices.
Like the IUDs or something.
When the lady goes for such a party or to some dark alley alone,
she could switch it on.
Then soemone tries to violate her, the device would go into action.

Some possibilities of what the 'action' could be...(we could even have combination of these)

1) Tattoo 'it' with a big 'RAPIST'
2) Inject local anaesthesia to make it limp
3) Autodial up police, 911 whatever, with GPS coordinates.
4) Inject general anaesthesia so that the fellow drops unconcious till the police arrive
5) Start big blaring noises and alarms of "Rape! Help! Please save me! etc
6) Inject something that makes him permanently impotent/unfertile/both
7) The device locks around 'it' and separates out from the lady. The unlocking keys or codes would only be with the local police. So the choice is his. Show up, or be unable to use it for rape or non-rape in future. Or risk breaking 'something else' while trying to break the lock (with a hammer?)
8) Give really bad electric shock there or secrete picric acid (of ants bite fame)

Yeah but women too can be bitches. Someone could take revenge on her decent caring loving guy about something trivial with the device.

Plus, if the rapist gets really angered, the lady who could have got off with 'just rape' might suffer lot of physical injury or even murder.

So even before considering the technical feasibility, this would need lot of other considerations

Hmmm maybe I should put this idea on my blog

July 6, 2008 10:50 AM

Anonymous said...

ALLAH HO AKBAR

Moiz an innocent gullible Muslim guy

did work for Ashish Shetty
ISO 9000

He didnt pay him
now his certificate has expired

Shetty called me
I told him to go to Mendes
Mendes is undergoing Chemo

I told him to go to Moiz

Anonymous said...

I told Moiz to take Rs 20K advance
if he doesnt agree

tell him to go to Hell

Anonymous said...

A tight spanking across her small ass would set her right for sure.


oooooohhhhh

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Watermelon .. not only for summer
Savory, healthy watermelon is recommended not only for hot, summer time.

“Watermelon is an ideal health food because it does not contain any fat or cholesterol,” - explains Chef Harry. “It’s delicious and you can eat as much of it as you’d like.”

With 92 percent water, watermelon is a natural hydrator and nutrient dense food containing vitamins A, B6 and C, as well as fiber and potassium.
Watermelon is the leader among fresh fruits and vegetables as a source of the health-promoting antioxidant lycopene, which gives the color to red varieties of watermelon. Watermelon also contains the medically important amino acids citrulline and arginine, which help maintain cardiovascular health.
Meet Chef Harry


Watermelon Almond Tart

1 cup sliced almonds
13- to 5-inch thick slice seedless watermelon, rind removed
1 cup low or no fat natural vanilla flavored yogurt
1 cup blueberries
1 cup sliced strawberries
1 tablespoon chocolate syrup

Read more: Watermelon Almond Tart

- Krys, Marias daughter

Old china said...

I read the following comment on the ZS, Re WTF, yours I believe, and quite apt. You certainly know how to deliver a retaliatory blow. Good stuff.

Vest said...
comment number 11 by: vest
July 7th, 2008 at 2:56 pm

WTF. Thanks for the comp. you are so nice.xx.
Having read only a few paras of your spiel on WTF, our Doc suggested the perpertrater of the long drawn out mish mash of info was most probably afflicted to at least three or more of the categories suggested.
Getting people to read and try to understand It, was probably designed as a means to attract business for medicos. An associate, a corporate lawyer; read part of it and is now suffering severe depression.
Have a boozy day.

6:04 PM

Vest said...

anon deleted comment. Sorry sport , can't allow that sort of muck.

saby said...

the middle class in India are mad

they work hard and

Save save save savee



then we have Dean

he married Mariola

he knew the family



Mariola is obese now

she is very sweet and good looking and lotta funn



Dean is a swinger

he is the life of the party

he dances with all the gilrs

young and old

he is handsome too



Now he has the power of attorney

and he is blowing up the money



he bought a posh car

dinners at 5 star hotel



the works

I love the guy



I am a bit like him

Vest said...

Saby: Little wonder the population in India is so huge.
Does the Indian Govt still provide transistor radios free gratis to those males who undergo voluntary vasectomy.

I shall forward to anyone interested, Music and Lyrics to the song.
"The Oldest Swinger In Town" Email only.

JOKE:

There was an Egyptian Girl
She was allergic to rubber
And became a MUMMY.

Vest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
saby said...

Shame and scandal in the family

Met Bridgette
she told me about old man Diago

He will be celebrating his 101st birthday soon
He is fit as a fiddle
a cock rather

Bridgette told me

Diago has been groping girls and women in the neighborhood
hihihi
(it is true, he made a pass for Maria, my wife too)

And he has created a mad mad mad mad world in his house
paid huge sums of money to women for sexual favors rendered

His favorite grand daughter is Mariola
He made her hubby rather gave him power of attorney

the SOB is hogging all his wealth
the other members of his family have been short changed
sons and daughters adnd step sons and step daughters are fighting


He feigns amnesia
Sad, but true

Saby
Money is a curse
too much money is a bigger curse

Fatima said...

Hi VEST
u r good funn

may I join in?

Anonymous said...

not done Vest

Vest said...

Can't get that good feeling for you Fatima, My guess is you are a 57 year old bloke from Mumbai.

Anonymous said...

u r nuts
u once tot Keshi is me

u r going bonkers

Holy ghost said...

I wonder which one of the trinity the last caller was portraying

Anonymous said...

I got him
on his tender nerve


hihihi
Son


I cant be Father

Anonymous said...

more fun with Sheitty

the bloke makes fresheners (wet tissues)for a big Airline in India

the owner of the airline created a huge brand in the brewery Industry
then went to the Airline industry

Now dat idiot Sheitty
printed on the pouches ISO 9001 certified company made by ZEN for .... Airlines

his certificate has lapsed
the only ones who can help him are Me, Mendex and Moiz

the former 2 backed out
He will have to beg Moiz, the Muslim guy, to do the job

will keep u guys updated

Davo said...

What's with the Viagra bit? Cialis allows alcohol, as well .. heh.

saby said...

I'm Still waiting....

I did what you told me..
I sent the emails to 10 people like you said.
I'm still waiting for that miracle to happen .

To all my friends who in the last year sent me best 'wishes', chain
letters, 'angel' letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded
something,
NONE OF THAT CRAP WORKED!
For 2008, could you please just send money, chocolate, jewelry, movie
tickets orgasoline vouchers and airline tickets instead?
Thank you! Saby

Aggie said...

I can't help but laugh at the association here between watermelon (a natural Viagra) and Crabs! Lol!
Too much indiscriminate use with one probably leads to the other ... hehehe! Too funny!

old china said...

The best path to becoming a statesman is as a salesman...lawyer...and thief.

BTW If a pollie is seen rubbing or scratching his nose or eye, the guy is lying. Watch out for the hands in pocket lawyer, he's the worst type.
He is confident he has you by the short and curlies.

Old China said...

This another of Vest's comments discovered on the tshsmom blog where everyone is unsuccessfully trying to expound their weak political knowledge and in turn creating turmoil among selves.
O C.

Read on.
Vest said...
MY CANDIDATE.
Why these pollies are what they are. Most probably it is because we all are, other wise we with all the answers would be doing their job and being disliked as much as those we dislike now.
Too bad that all the people who know how to run a country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
Or working in Grandma's Restaurant.

Never discuss politics in the home or with friends, but with people you dislike or in some cases hate, if you are that sort of person. Then if you win or lose the argument(debatable)you return to your family and friends immune from the result.
And you won't have to sleep in the spare bedroom.
As cofucious say...."Have a Great Erection Day".

Old China say...you come to Hong Kong soon. you dont make sino joke there or you land in shit long down. you good man.

Vest said...

O C: I believe you mean TIHS PEED, the way you guys write, R to L.

Vest said...

O C: I forgot to mention, been there done that, 62-64. Lived in 24sq flat at 17, 9th fl,Bremer Hse, Harcourt place, Wongneihchong road, Opposite Happy Valley race course Grand stand.
Fragrant Harbour, of course. or HK.

The Grand Old Days, now gone for ever.
Vest.

Anonymous said...

The Grand Old Days ??
I hate my old days

Anonymous said...

Saby

1. A thugolicious person
2. An evil genius bent on world domination
3. One who is a PIMP
4. One who is a genius

I wish I could be like Saby. He is the best.

- Urban Dictionary

Anonymous said...

Linux rides pillion on Mumbai city buses

In the swarming Indian metropolis Mumbai, it can be a gymnastic exercise just to fish in your pocket on the packed city buses and stretch out your paying hand to the conductor. Many commuters have opted instead for a 'smart' and cashless way to pay, provided, in part, by Linux. Named Go Mumbai, it is a prepaid smart card for BEST (Brihanmumbai Electric Supply and Transport) bus journeys.

In the most advanced configuration, two fare collection devices are mounted in the aisles near the front and back bus doors. These devices require the commuter to hold the smart card against them (contactless interface) upon entering and while leaving the bus. Each bus also has a control device. It uses a wireless LAN to talk with the fare collection devices, and, using GPS, tallies the distance travelled by individual commuters with the preconfigured route stored in its memory. The control device can be reprogrammed by the bus driver whenever the bus is rerouted. This triangle of devices in the bus uses ARM9 processors and runs embedded Linux using kernel 2.6. Having these Linux-embedded devices, says Satish Goriani, consultant to the technology provider Kaizen, drastically reduces the transaction time, and the inbuilt services in Linux, such as SSH, make it easy to manage them remotely. Forty buses are equipped in this way. The other 3,500 in the system use a more low-tech solution: a handheld device that the bus conductor uses to debit the smart card.

Anonymous said...

Is Aggie saying u gott Crabs?

saby said...

Love is Blindness

A little boy was in his room playing with himself, when his father walked in.
"Son! If you masturbate too much, you're gonna go blind!"
"Dad," the boy said, "I'm over here."

Love it? Spread the laughter. Hate it? Think you can do better?
lets hear from you.

Vest said...

Anon: RE A. I doubt it, hardly likely to know or not.
In future do not ask personal questions of this nature, or I'll tell all you have one testemonial.

Vest said...

Anon: RE Mumbai(Bombay) Buses.

I have emailed this info to the 'Road Transport Authority (RTA) NSW Australia' Who never ever get it right, whatever the problem. We do not commute by 'Horse & Cart, However, we are not far removed from it.
Vest.

Anonymous said...

Dalicia said...
i love myself so much. that i don't think anyone could love me more...

hahaha...enjoy the life to the fullest. besides, being married is overly rated. in US, the divorce rate is so high. and you don't want to go through with your ex husband shit

Anonymous said...

Shitty begged Moiz
all is well

Praise the Lord

Anonymous said...

PHONE ETIQUETTE:

1. DON'T CALL ME LATE AT NIGHT AND
ASK ME WHAT I'M DOING,NOT UNLESS
YOU'RE A HOTTIE...YOU CAN CALL ME 3
IN THE MORNING IF YOU WANT TO...
ONLY YOU AND JESUS HAVE THAT PRIVILEGE
SMOOTCHES!:)

2. DON'T PUT ME ON HOLD,I DEMAND
YOUR FULL ATTENTION.F%#k CALL WAITING.

3. DON'T CALL ME WHEN YOU'RE IN THE BATHROOM,
I CAN TELL,THE GRUNTING,FLUSHING...AND YOU
TELLING ME "I FEEL BETTER NOW"
NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR THAT SHIT!
GOT DAMMIT! AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE
TO CALL DURING DINNER...Ewwww

4.IF I CALL YOU, I GET TO DOMINATE THE CONVERSATION,
IF YOU CALL ME I HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR SHIT...IT'S ONLY FAIR.
WHEN I SPEND MY DIME IT'S MY TIME & VICE VERSA.

5. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT YOU CAN'T SLEEP, DRINK ALCOHOL
AND TAKE DRUGS LIKE THE REST OF US,
IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE PEOPLE GEEZ!
THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.




posted by Michele @ 4:00 PM

20080705

Anonymous said...

I am with Kaizen
waiting for auditor to arrive from Sira, UK

She is coming from UK
funny, she is an Indian

Anonymous said...

I just want you to give me one reason why I should continue to blog.

I know I blog for myself, but sometimes I just want to leave all this and disappear for good...all I can say is I'm not perfect.

Just tell me why you think I should be here,

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

utopia said...
of course u shud keep blogging .

its ur way of expressing yourself, your creativity and maybe even a vent out for your emotions and a way of expression.
pleaseeee there'll always be people who'll question your choices and beliefs.

if you know that u r sure of what u want then u could turn a deaf ear.

to be honest i don't fancy myself single at the age of 45 but i do know people who'd happily do that cos they are happier. its better living your life alone than living with a mistake for the rest of it.i also know women who are unhappy and dissatisfied cos they never got married for whatever reasons and loneliness is killing and the "i am so happy being single" facade really doesn't seem to work cos people see through it.
i think its just the choices we make. if u r happy just don't bother. there'll always be wagging tongues.
cheers! :D

Jim said...

loon gal says

What is the UK economy without us Indians?
Lakshami Mittal? The richest man in the UK ... is an Indian! *surprise surprise!*

Just because these "whites" have better vocal skills does it make them more educated and smarter than someone who's a CA+MBA+ICWA from reputed institutions in India?

What if I don't have a permanent visa to be in this country, does it mean that I need an ID card which can be asked for anywhere and at any time just because I am brown in colour?

Why live a life of a prisoner in this country, when I can enjoy all the luxuries and far better treatment in my own country?
Its taken me 3 yrs to understand this fact ... I would say "Happy Realisation" to myself but at the same time its better late than never!

I don't understand why I spent £30,000+ on my education here when even before applying I get rejected just because am on my dad's dependant visa here in the UK!
The topmost banks and IT firms are not ready to provide people with work permits .... I knew it would be hard from the very beginning itself ... but it's getting demotivating now!

I hate to be struggling here while the British students get paid to study!

I have nothing against anyone personally but the kind of discrimination we have to face puts me off!

Just venting out my frustration ...

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saby said...

Refrigerator Man

A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ''Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband -- he thinks he's a refrigerator!''
''I wouldn't worry too much about it,'' the doctor replies. "Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.''

''But you don't understand,'' the woman insists. ''He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake.''




Love it? Spread the laughter. Hate it? Think you can do better?

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