Monday, 28 July 2008

The Oz Anthem Rears up again,Girt by Sea?

If you dunno what girt by sea means sport you dun Qualify.

Regarding Our National Anthem
I am sorry, but after hearing they want to sing the National Anthem in Arabic - enough is enough. No where or at no other time in our nation's history, did they sing it in Italian, Japanese, Polish, Irish (Celtic), German, Portuguese, Greek, or any other language because of immigration. It was written in English, and should be sung word for word the way it was written.
The news broadcasts even gave the translation -- not even close.
I am not sorry if this offends anyone, this is MY COUNTRY - IF IT IS YOUR COUNTRY SPEAK UP ---- please pass this along

I am not against immigration -- just come through like everyone else. Get a sponsor; have a place to lay your head; have a job; pay your taxes, live by the rules AND LEARN THE LANGUAGE as all other immigrants have in the past -- and LONG LIVE Australia !

PART OF THE PROBLEM. Think about this: If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone-----YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM !!!!

Will we still be the Country of Choice and still be Australia if we continue to make the changes forced on us by the people from other countries who have come to live in Australia because it is the Country of Choice??????
Think about it!

IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT.

It is Time for Australia to Speak up.
If you agree -- pass this along; if you don't agree -- delete it!

Saturday, 26 July 2008

Nutty Kiwi's Fruitless Search for a Suitable Name.

Court: Girl can't be called Talula Does The Hula
New Zealand judge criticizes parents and orders 9-year-old to be renamed

updated 6:32 a.m. ET July 24, 2008
WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A family court judge in New Zealand has had enough with parents giving their children bizarre names here, and did something about it.

Just ask Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. He had her renamed.

Judge Rob Murfitt made the 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name could be changed, he said in a ruling made public Thursday. The girl was involved in a custody battle, he said.

The new name was not made public to protect the girl's privacy.
'Very poor judgment'
"The court is profoundly concerned about the very poor judgment which this child's parents have shown in choosing this name," he wrote. "It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily."

The girl had been so embarrassed at the name that she had never told her closest friends what it was. She told people to call her "K" instead, the girl's lawyer, Colleen MacLeod, told the court.

In his ruling, Murfitt cited a list of the unfortunate names.

Sex Fruit?
Registration officials blocked some names, including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit, he said. But others were allowed, including Number 16 Bus Shelter "and tragically, Violence," he said.


see msnbc.com - click here

Monday, 21 July 2008

The 'F' Word Earns Extra Exam Marks

You might think a pupil would be marked down for writing a note on their English exam telling tutors to "F**k off".

But one was rewarded with extra marks - because it was better than leaving the page blank and demonstrates "nominal skills".

The pupil was given 7.5 per cent by top marker Peter Buckroyd for leaving the expletive on his paper. And incredibly, the Assessment and Qualifications Alliance (AQA) chief examiner said adding an exclamation mark would have taken the score to 11 per cent by showing proper punctuation.

Mr Buckroyd said: "It would be wicked to give it zero, it does show some very basic skills, conveying some meaning and some spelling.

"It shows more skills than somebody who leaves the page blank."

Mr Buckroyd said he even uses the example, from the 2006 GCSE paper of a pupil who was asked "Describe the room you're sitting in", when training examiners.

However, AQA, Britain's biggest GCSE examiner, distanced itself from the comments. It said: "If a script contains obscenities, examiners are instructed to contact AQA, which will advise them.

"Expletives would either be disregarded or sanctioned."

Exam boards Edexel and the Joint Council for Qualifications agreed such a case should be marked down or disqualified.

Asked about the case during Commons question time, Schools Secretary Ed Balls said the AQA had "made it clear" the use of bad language was inappropriate and should have been marked down.

But new exam regulator Ofqual appeared less concerned, saying: "It's for awarding bodies to develop their mark scheme and for their markers to award marks in line with that scheme.

But new exam regulator Ofqual appeared less concerned, saying: "It's for awarding bodies to develop their mark scheme and for their markers to award marks in line with that scheme.

Vest Say's. The odd bit of swearing is understandable as it divides the calm and collected minded people from those who have lost the plot. However, when bad language is used as a all purpose adjective, it just shows up a shocking lack of vocabulary, frankly, a lack of imagination,laziness, and probably, dare I say, a rather low IQ !

BTW: The Actual "F" word will be banned from this particular post, this excersise will be a means to see how many of you have the capability to acquaint yourselves with an alternative word which is acceptable to all.
You may not use the following either. Bonk, Shag, Root.

Sunday, 20 July 2008

A Dire Warning To Would be Drug Traffickers

ABC foreign correspondent and accused drug trafficker Peter Lloyd has been discharged from a Singapore hospital and offered bail ahead of his next court appearance on Friday.

The public broadcaster sent its senior legal adviser, Rob Simpson, to help Lloyd, who was formally charged at a private hearing in Changi General Hospital's prison ward with trafficking and possession of the methamphetamine ice.

Lloyd, the ABC's South Asia correspondent, was on leave in Singapore when arrested on Wednesday.

Peter Lloyd's life.

The 41-year-old was being treated for an eye infection, but a hospital spokeswoman said he was discharged at 1am Sydney time yesterday.

"He is no longer receiving treatment here,'' she said.

"He was discharged yesterday.''

A Department of Foreign Affairs spokesman said the hearing had been attended by a consular officer from the Australian High Commission.

Singapore Central Narcotics Bureau spokesperson Agnes Lim said of Lloyd: "He has been offered bail. His case has been fixed for next mention on July 25.''

It was unclear yesterday whether Lloyd had posted bail.

An ABC spokeswoman said Mr Simpson, the head of ABC legal services, had arrived in Singapore on Friday night.

His estranged wife Kirsty McIvor, who is UNICEF's spokesperson in Indonesia, said yesterday: "

"I'm sorry, I'm not speaking to anybody.''

Lloyd and Ms McIvor are understood to have split six months ago after Lloyd came out as a gay man.

The Campbelltown NSW Australia-raised journalist faces up to 20 years in jail and 15 strokes of the cane.

According to Singapore court documents, Lloyd was charged with trafficking just under 1gm of methamphetamine to a Singaporean for $75 at a hotel earlier this month.

Police also allegedly found an improvised smoking pipe and six syringes during a search.

A friend of Lloyd's claims he was dating a Singaporean man who worked as a flight attendant for an international airline.

Foreign Minister Stephen Smith will be in Singapore next week for ASEAN talks and will discuss the case with Australian officials there.

The arrest of the veteran reporter has stunned ABC colleagues, who have described Lloyd as dedicated and hard-working.

A former colleague said Lloyd was an extremely generous person who was dedicated to his children.

"Peter's an incredibly kind person who would do anything for his friends, and he was an incredibly loving father,'' the colleague said.

"I just think that he's had a mid-life crisis.''

Former ABC television reporter Jacinta Tynan said she was shocked and concerned for Lloyd.

"I worked with Pete at the ABC and he was a professional,'' she said.

"I looked up to, and learned from, him as a senior reporter.'

Vest Say's this is a sorry situation which need not have happened.
Ample warning is given to all travelers not to arrive or exit or partake of high profile drugs when visiting several South East Asian Countries, particularly Singapore and Malaysia where trafficking in Heroin or Cocaine carries a mandatory death penalty by hanging. It is been twenty two years since the Australians K Barlow and B Chambers were the first Australians to suffer this fate, meaning several others have followed, will these idiots ever learn.
Peter Lloyd has had ample time to familiarise himself with the local laws in these countries and as a journalist he should know better, his latent gender problem which caused a break up with his wife and children cannot be an excuse for drug use.
I am familiar with a parallel case within my own family, married, two daughters, gay, divorce, drugs. who at 19 yrs old travelled to Singapore with us his parents Aug 1986 when we visited old friends (Muslims) in Johore Bahru Malaysia.
Even if Peter Lloyd receives a lesser penalty of 15 strokes of the cane and a custody sentence to follow, I consider it to be in excess for the infringement involved.
The Rattan cane is pure brutality, It is now outlawed in most forward thinking countries, and in a slightly lesser form; the caning of unruly school children.

Myself being familiar with the extremities of corporal punishment and the brutal flogging of young children, I shall append an excerpt from my memoirs which still remains fresh in my mind.

CHAPTER 7
Halls Naval Academy
I don’t remember how I got to HNA, but I was very pleased to be back with my brother after a year of separation. Christopher seemed changed. He was in Class 2B when I arrived on 16 December 1936. I was exactly ten years and five months of age. Christopher was in Seven Company and I was in Six Company, each company having about forty-five boys between the ages of eleven and fifteen-and-a-half. I had two days of schooling before the Christmas break, when I was told I would be in 1A not the 1B class. (The Headmaster had obviously read the letter from Mr former headmaster.
Halls Naval Academy was a charity school with a nautical theme run on militaristic principles. The estate was located in the Suffolk rural countryside far from the outside world. It was situated on the edge of a plateau that sloped east to a valley near the river Eastham where the school farmed the land.
HNA had a population of a large staff and about three hundred students between eleven and sixteen years of age. The students were allowed to take two three-week vacations each year during the summer and at Christmas. All other holiday periods were spent at the school. Students without guardians never left the school. Students had no access to the outside world, arbitrary access, or personal rights. Discipline was strict. Hunger and fear of punishment were constant. Love and affection were non-existent. All communication to and from the school was censored. Those boys who never left the school on vacation became conditioned to their surroundings (like caged birds) and were probably happier at the school than those of us who had occasional release from our incarceration.
On the 20 December 1936, having been told by my brother that he was going home again to Auntie Parker, I raised the roof and said, “I should go, too!” I was told, “No money, no ticket, no permission. Sorry, you’ll have to stay”. Like bloody hell, I thought. Then the bugler sounded the action stations call and the lucky ones – about half the population of the school – marched to the East Oakville Station.
Two or three hours later, I was on a train that had stopped at a large station. My friend, Ernie Booker and I had no idea where we were going and must have looked conspicuous. The ticket bloke and staff at the station locked us up. Soon after, we were back at HNA.
Living in a dark cloud of rejection, I was totally at odds with that place. I wondered how much more I would have to suffer.
22 December 1936
My brother had arrived in Charlham. Meanwhile, I was confused and in a state of apathy. Ernie and I were in serious trouble. Having only been at this place for six days, I was to get six cuts of the cane. Having no one to turn to for help, I was wretchedly homesick. It was suggested by a few teachers that because it was so close to Christmas we should be forgiven, but our Capt. Superintendent Known as "Flogger Campbell, replied, “Peace on earth and goodwill to all men applies only on Christmas day.”
The remaining population of the school gathered to witness our punishment. A box horse for us to bend over was produced, plus the biggest rattan cane – even bigger than the one at Charlham School. Ernie went first. It seemed like a bloody execution – minus the knitting hags, the French National Anthem, and a basket for our heads. Ernie was brave but white as a sheet after his six, and had to go to the sickbay. I later learned he had received a testicular injury.
Ernie going first made little difference, as another instructor, ‘Gunner Marten’ was to be my tormentor. I felt bloody awful. My thin trousers barely hid the bleeding welts across my buttocks. After the six strokes, I shouted in agonising pain, “I hope you die, you rotten cruel sod!” and got number seven. Gunner Marten died during the war about four years later. I was unmoved.
Christmas in HNA was over. Our total excitement had consisted of two church parades, an apple, an orange, and cake. Where was Charlie Dickens? What a pity he missed out on this place. Remember, at the time I was just ten yrs and five months old, and the staff all wonderfully kind Christian Bastards.
BTW Flogger Campbell in 1949 was given a custodial sentence but died shortly after I am told.
Have a lovely day, and be extra kind to your Children. Vest.

Thursday, 17 July 2008

Worlds Oldest Blogger Dies.

World's oldest blogger, Olive Riley, dies at 108

An Australian woman believed to be the world's oldest blogger has died aged 108, after writing a post about her deteriorating health.
Olive Riley began blogging in February 2007 after a friend suggested the idea and offered to type up the posts on her behalf.

Her blog, The Life of Riley, became an international hit, with readers logging on from the United States to Russia to hear stories about her life.

Mrs Riley' tales of surviving two world wars and the Depression, bringing up three children on her own and working as a cook in the Australian outback and a barmaid in Sydney, were also nominated for a Blogger's Choice award in 2007.

Not content to stick to writing, she later branched out into video, posting clips of herself talking and singing on YouTube, the video-sharing website.

In her 74th and final post on June 26, she wrote about moving into a nursing home because of her ill health.

"I still feel weak and can't shake off that bad cough," she said.

She also described singing "a happy song" with a visitor and said she had "read a whole swag of email messages and comments from my internet friends today".

"I was so pleased to hear from you. Thank you, one and all," she wrote.

Born in Broken Hill, a mining town in the Australian bush, in 1899, Olive would have turned 109 in October.

Her grandson, Darren Stone, said she loved the attention her blogs - or blobs as she once mistakenly called them - brought her.

"She enjoyed the notoriety - it kept her mind fresh," he told Australian newspapers.

"She had people communicating with her from as far away as Russia and America on a continual basis, not just once in a while.

"What kept her going was the memories she had, and being able to recall those memories so strongly."

Bloggers have started posting their own tributes to Mrs Riley.

Shirley Buxton wrote : "She was an amazing woman and will be mourned by her family and her readers who numbered into the thousands."

Mrs Riley's funeral will be held later this week.

Olive Riley lived at 'Woy Woy' on the Central Coast of New South Wales Australia.
Olive will be sadly missed.

Vest Daily Gaggle. Budgewoi, Central Coast, NSW, Australia.
.......................................................................................

Vest Say's the results of the various tests on his person recently, have revealed that his main cause for concern, his prostate came up nearly squeaky clean, no dreaded 'C' but some calcification needs removing, "Oh No-Not the Electric Eel again".
However, The shit has hit the fan, and before I have anything done, I have an appointment with a Cardiovascular specialist at Berkely Vale Private Hospital on Aug 9:11am. I have been told it is not serious(You are joking !!) It appears I have a slight? ballooning of the Aorta to explain it in simple terms. My Witch doctor Say's, I should not get too concerned - He must be 'Nuts'. Will keep you posted.

Have a lovely weekend.

Vest Daily Gaggle.

Wednesday, 16 July 2008

JULY 16. On this day............

Vest Say's.
622. On this day Mohammed begins his flight from Mecca to Medina, marking the start of the Islamic calendar.
Vest Say's. Should he have missed his flight the World today would not be in such a Pickle.

1945. The beginning of the Nuclear Age, When the first test Atom Bomb was exploded in New Mexico USA. Saved countless lives in WW2, probably mine too.

1969. At 2100hours GMT. The first Moon Shot By Apollo 11.

1926. At 2359 Friday July 16, Vest arrived in the years of the 'Depression'

Comment welcomed.

Monday, 14 July 2008

If Life were a Game of Monopoly

Vest Say's, if life were a game of Monopoly, the first acquisitions on my agenda would be a waterworks and a power station, followed by St Pancras station, preferable to the other stations.
Combining these monopolies to work as a smoothly running machine would be my first objective, and the power station being the main player in the game would have to be powered with a sensible selection of fuels such as proteins carbohydrates veggies vitamins and minerals plus a clean water supply. St Pancras station would get a face lift, and its major engine named New Pancreas, it having replaced the former engine called 'Cloggedupanstuffedstonehengine'. nicknamed cloggers. Poor cloggers never had a good start in life and many pancreas'es were deprived of the easy to deal with fuels as described above, due to either the owners ignorance being not able to understand the proper procedure; but mainly because clogger's owner for example was desperately deprived and had to rely on a diet of watery porridge dripping sandwiches and mangold wurzels, poor cloggers efficiency never recovered from this early abuse and has struggled bravely with the fat distribution equation, despite receiving its proper Atkins Diet cloggers moving parts are too worn and beyond economical repair to perform proficiently. At the lower end, the waterworks which was given a new lease of life back in 92 has become sluggish and its frequent em missions are becoming anti social and sleep depriving and I suspect it could be masterminding my lack of activity in the boudoir.
Putting it all together, there have been tests to determine the problems involved, like U/samps blood tests and a renal scan, all will be divulged on Wednesday 16 inst my 82nd birthday, Little wonder cloggers is fairly stuffed. Tues 15th my sis Ruth's Birthday, St Swithins day. HBTY. Also 11 am I have to attend my Assoc AGM. So if I slacken off a bit you will have some idea what is happening. ok.

Be back soon, Have a wonderful BASTILLE DAY, VEST.

Friday, 11 July 2008

Bitchy Anne Robinson shows her WEAKEST LINK

A Portsmouth England Magistrate, has told the presenter of the Brit TV show The Weakest Link to say "Goodbye" to her drivers licence. This is a weekday show on Foxtel Sydney Mon-Frid's, followed by "Eggheads", I usually watch both, but have problems when it comes to Anne Robinsons Phonetics, hard to sort out Bs Vs Ds Gs etc, for example "Beginning with B ends up beginning with V. However, Annie Cocksure has come unstuck.
Weakest Link presenter Anne Robinson was banned from driving for six months today, plus a 100 pound fine Aud$225.oo.

The TV personality was convicted at Portsmouth Magistrates’ Court after admitting her fourth speeding offence since September 2005.

The court heard the latest one occurred in Anglesey Road, Portsmouth on August 8 last year when the 63-year-old, who did not attend the hearing, was clocked doing 43mph in a 30mph zone.

Michael McGoldrick, in defence, said his client was disorientated by the road system after leaving a ferry from the Isle of Wight. He said it was the first time she had ever driven there and didn’t realise she was in a restricted speed area.


I was I/C of a busy section in the drafting offices of Portsmouth Naval Barraccks 1966, Prior to leaving the Royal Navy on Pension.
A few days before becoming a Civvy, a few of the lads and I went on a bender, became pissed (Before Breathalizers) and was fined in the Portsmouth Magistrates court Five Pounds for parking my car without lights; in the street after midnight.
A day later a Cocky young sailor was released from the Magistrates court cells after being drunk and peeing up against the Pub wall. Overhearing I had been fined Five Pounds, He stated he was very lucky only to be fined Three Pounds. I replied "You are very lucky, and also you have missed your lunch and you have one hour to catch a train to Stansted Airport for a Flight to Gibraltar" He looked surprised, I then told him " You have missed your ship clever dick and the cost will be about Eighty five pounds, docked from your pay for about a month, Plus further punishment deemed by your captain for missing your ship, here are your tickets , so on your way, and remember, Parking your car without lights can be much cheaper than piddling up against the pub wall.

Sunday, 6 July 2008

Water melon the new Viagra. plus a Crab With Bite.

Who needs Viagra? Watermelon has the same effect.

If you want to feel sexy the answer is to suck on a melon...

The fruit contains citrulline which boosts the blood supply in much the same way the sex drug Viagra does.

Citrulline is turned into an amino acid called arginine when mixed with the body's enzymes.

Arginine boosts nitric oxide, which relaxes blood vessels, the same basic effect that Viagra has, to treat erectile dysfunction and maybe even prevent it.

But don't dump the Viagra just yet, you'll have to eat at least six cups of watermelon - mostly the rind - to get the same effect as the drug.

And that can lead to stomach cramps and lots of trips to the toilet as the fruit is also a diuretic.
--------------------------------------

The crab with giant claws

Say hello to Claude the crab - but if you shake hands, do mind his grip.

Living up to his nickname, his claws are bigger than a man's mitt and those powerful pincers could snip your fingers clean off.

Experts reckon the 3ft-wide, 17.5lbs male is 50 years old.

Diver Paul Martin, 40, found the beast in a barrel on the seabed in Portland Harbour, Dorset, and gave him to the Weymouth SeaLife Centre.
Paul, from Yetminster, Somerset, said: "It would be wrong to eat such a fine specimen."

Douglas Lanfear, who runs dive boat Blue Turtle, said: "It was the biggest crab I have ever seen. It was big enough to feed 10 people."

Claire Little of the SeaLife Centre added: "Edible crabs do get this big but you rarely see them as they're hiding or have already been put in a sandwich."

Thursday, 3 July 2008

A load of BROLLEROCKS to finish off the week, Jousting in UncleSam land again

Vest said...
oops!! its gonnagin, feeling extra nasty today are you, someone nicked your broomstick agin. or was it deleted?

7/03/2008 12:41 AM


Vest said... TeStyHS mommy dear
Looks like your garden cart was formerly a roman toy chariot, seen better days.
Aw shucks you deleted the technical details on how to fabricate a lawn roller El cheapo. There was that possibility someone may have benefitted from them'
one of your callers from CA said she quite liked my comment but it seems the roller instructions have gone foreever but those who missed my reply here it is.
Anon.....CA said...
I spotted this comment on the tshsmoan blog in reply to a comment to the funny comment-but practical way to make an economical garden roller which I read last night on the tshsmoan blog - but sadly now deleted, being a regular visitor to tshsmoan blog makes me wonder was or is some sort of friction between yourself and tshsmoan?
Ps, I did like the roller instructions.

(after deletion)
Vest said...
Real charmer arn't you, dogmatic, bitter, full of hatred unforgiving ^*)#$^@*the list goes on, so whats up now! someone steal your broomstick again?
Try hard not to have a hateful day.
This was deleted too.

More in next comment.

7/03/2008 2:53 AM


Vest said...
HERE IS MORE.

Vest said...
Yes Anon ca: There still remains friction between us although any pleasantries I forward are met with rebuffs. This is due to a messy argument which festered for months, which was originally created when I had the temerity to disapprove of the present gun laws in America.
How was I to know this fiesty old biddy was A Minnesotan Gun Loving Redneck with a killer dog called SCHairry who guarded the large gun rack on her pickup truck on a Saturday arvo while she chain smoked and drank Lge JD's and Coke in the bar with other Hill Billies prior to afternoons shooting at any frigging thing that moved in the forest.
You may now realize what difficulty I have attempting to cool down her ravings but hope that her encroaching dementia will wipe out these happenings of the past.
Everyone have a happy loving day. Because in the end its not the years in your life that count,its the life in your years. Vest.

7/03/2008 3:15 AM
Vest said...
Give me a call for instructions on how to make your own lawn roller.
I can also give advice on how to make most things. all free.
My special is about re-birthing shopping carts(trollies) into more useful domestic appliances, like garden carts, garden flower racks etc. but the best usage is for odd shaped (art deco) cages for the larger pet bird. these designs are by Sir Kay Marty and Fred, Wilbur, Woolywerfs.
A lot of people have called from over the pond but are too scared to comment, should the Minnesota blog police get to them.
Well! I am waiting, give me a call.
So until Moanday :((, Have a good laugh enjoy yourself and, Have a happy weekend:))))) Vest Daily Gaggle.

7/03/2008 4:29 AM

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

'THE CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE'. BY VEST

In reply to a post by 'KESHI' This shall be my reply.

CHAPTER 30
Reminiscing
Looking back over the past ten years and taking stock of the present state of my life, I felt the need for a new direction.
Near the beginning of the last decade, I had a frightful feeling of being alone and unwanted. I had learned to live with the loss of my mother’s affection. Although Auntie Parker was affectionate, I felt she wasn’t providing me with real, open love and the freedom to embrace her at will. After all, she had her own brood of children to love.

I also thought about my first affair with Emily Jane Courtney-Cowper and how I was drawn into that unusual escapade. Emily was a warm, fun-loving person who had the ability to make things happen. There was always something more that followed a period of fun. There was no such thing as an anti-climax; only total exhaustion or oblivion. Emily, who was three years older than me, seemed so grown up and worldly. Wanting to do things for me, she unselfishly put aside her own physical needs and provided the motherly touch.

Nurse Adriana, on the other hand, was trained to care and provide healing and comfort to people who may have lost direction due to their health traumas. Adriana lived in quarters where she became ensnared in a same-gender love affair until she saw the folly of it all. Addy, five years my senior, was a beautiful, caring, honest lady who provided me with love and companionship. Her maternal instincts were always evident.

Emma. Beautiful Emma, was the total woman; a real lady of quality, intelligent, helpful, kind and honest and eight years my senior. She could be happy, loving, and motherly. Emma was a joy to be with. Her gender responsibilities to her partner were superior. No one could fault Emma. Just remembering her now still brings tears to my eyes.

Penny, three years my junior, was a very feminine young lady, a beautiful loving and happy sixteen-year-old who had a mature aptitude. It caused me concern that she should be compromised by me. Our short love affair was beautiful, but dear sweet little Penny did not at that time possess the motherly traits of her big sister.

Keeping it in the family was not what I expected when calling on Caroline Courtney-Cowper. It had been my intention to simply honour the invitation that she had made six years before. I made a social call so she would know I had survived the war. Tea and biscuits were all I expected. Shortly after arriving at this very remarkable lady’s home, however, I knew it was going to be difficult to escape. She seized the opportunity to illuminate a period of darkness within her dull love life. This lady was cool, open-minded, very attractive, and generous. She was also a force to be reckoned with within the bounds of her boudoir – a leading lady worth following. You might wonder why I went back for more. However being that I was a free agent at the time and committed to no one. And my needs no less greater than hers, ‘why not’.

In all my previous affairs, not once was I the leading force during the inaugural proceedings. Nonetheless, I found the invitations to be too exciting to pass up, despite the fact that in most cases they ended in sadness or a stalemate.
My association with these dear ladies gave me a quality of life I had never before experienced. Their integrity was of the highest order. Although I was torn away from them through no fault of our own, those beautiful people provided the template for my expectations of a lifetime partner.

These dear ladies, I am now able to say, were highly successful, and I truly thank them.

There is no doubt in my mind that some friends and relatives who I love dearly will view my pre-marital romps and escapades with derision or contempt. They may ask, “How could you resurrect your past in this manner? How unthoughtful!” Well, as unthoughtful as it may seem, I am aware of many indiscretions committed by my own family and friends, and would be pleased to hear from those who have never dilly-dallied during their present or former relationships before they pass through the pearly gates.

It would be mindful for all to remember that my last ‘escapade’ is still successfully ongoing after fifty-two years. By the way, for those who have not made this happen, the secret to making a relationship work for both partners is for each person to make the other person’s needs their top priority. This tricky concept is also called ‘compromise.’

Having received all the motherly care I could hope for, I felt I had something to give in return from what I had learned.
My knowledge of civilian life was minimal, so I started preparing for the inevitable by learning from the available sources. At the age of twenty-five I was about as dim as a Toc H lamp with a useless, nautically indoctrinated brain. Over the course of two years, I learned about local politics, lawful procedures, banking, housing, civil employment, general civil infrastructure, and my responsibility regarding each of them.

By the time I married my beautiful Mary, who possessed all the qualities necessary for a happy, rewarding marriage, I had taken on a protective role (not motherly!) My lovely Mary was eight years younger than me, a beautiful, grown woman at nineteen years of age. Mary was then and still is the love of my life.

Mary, to whom I have now been married for fifty years and whom I have known for fifty-two years, is always a joy to be around and a great source of happiness. She is also, I may respectfully add, a great lover. Our unions have been more than gratifying. The proof in the pudding, so to speak, was her successful delivery of our five, healthy sons.
Our first words to each other in the morning and the last words at night are “I Love You” or occasionally, “After that, love, I reckon we could do with a cup of tea.”

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...