Sunday, 1 June 2008

Man Convicted of Assault with Hedgehog. (Sequel to post dated 4/11/2008)

Man convicted of assault with a Hedgehog

A man has been convicted of assault after hitting a teenager with a hedgehog and asking him if he wanted to "wear a hedgehog helmet".
William Singalargh, 27, was fined for assault and offensive behaviour by a court in Whakatane, in New Zealand.
He was fined NZ$700 and ordered to pay the bulk of it – NZ$500 - to his victim.
The 15-year-old boy was returning home with two friends in February when he was confronted by four men on the road near his house, Whakatane District Court heard.
One of the men, Singalargh, was holding a hedgehog and asked the boy: "Do you want to wear a hedgehog helmet?"
When the boy indicated that he would rather not, Singalargh threw the animal, leaving a large red welt and four quills lodged in the teenager’s hip.
When the boy's mother intervened, Singalargh pulled down his trousers and exposed his buttocks.
He had pleaded not guilty to the charges, claiming he was not the hedgehog hurler.
But judge Ian Thomas preferred the evidence of other witnesses who identified him by the bright orange trousers he was wearing at the time.
A more serious charge of assault with a weapon — the hedgehog — was dropped. Had he been convicted of that charge, he could have been sentenced to five years in prison.
"He admitted to having been in possession of a hedgehog," police Constable Lyndon Reid said. "He originally claimed that the group had been playing hacky sack with it," Const Reid said, referring to a game in which the aim is to keep up a small ball or bean bag in the air.
It was not known whether the hedgehog was dead or alive at the time of the attack, but Senior Sgt Bruce Jenkins said earlier in the case that it was dead when collected as evidence.
European hedgehogs were deliberately introduced to New Zealand and are now considered a pest.
Vest Say's, Like rabbits, Hedgehogs were part of the staple diet years ago in England, like the turnip was before the Spud arrived from the Americas in the luggage of Sir Walter Raleigh.
Hedgehog Recipe:
Handle Hedgehog with thick gloves, Then kill by piercing head swiftly through the eye into its brain. (Wash Hedgehog in hot water to remove bugs, Optional). Then remove intestines and flush cavity with water, encase Hedgehog in clean garden clay and place in burning campfire embers until clay cracks, pull apart clay-spikes and skin leaving a delicious gourmet repast for one starving Gypsy. If you are not a Gypsy without a domestic oven in your vardo, Warm your oven to 180F - 350 C and bake Hedgehog for 25 mins per lb or 450gr. "Bon Appetite".

Hedge hogs are a protected species in the UK I am told. However, due to them being a pestilence in the land of the long white cloud, I see a possible opportunity for normally unemployable Kiwis,
like KFC, how about, K B H , 'Kiwi Baked Hedgehog' With Fries, franchises.

Prospective franchise owners should contact your local dragons den entrepreneur for advice.
VEST.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Then remove intestines and flush cavity with water, encase Hedgehog in clean garden clay and place in burning campfire embers until clay cracks, pull apart clay-spikes and skin leaving a delicious gourmet repast for one starving Gypsy


uggghhhh

Anonymous said...

reminds me of pig
in Goa the killing of pig is brutal

the animal is pierced and made made to bleed to death

he howls like a stuck pig all night

the blood is used in the preparation of sorpotel

Jim said...

Scarlett


In a detailed report titled ‘Try India's funky holiday state of Goa for a jumbo adventure’, he wrote: "Today it's still a fascinating combination of Portuguese and Indian. The food is fantastic and the Catholic churches have standing room only on Sundays. You'll find locals of mixed heritage with magnificent names like Aloysius or Josi, and the buses have slogans on the front like 'Jesus Saves'. This is a funky place."


He ends his Sunday piece with the words: "So don't delay. Go to Goa!"
Several newspapers, including The Times, have quoted official figures to say that 160,000 British tourists visited Goa during the last year. During 2007, 40 Britons reportedly died in Goa, while the figure this year has so far reached 10.

But the reports stress that many of the dead passed away due to natural causes, and there really is nothing unique about Britons dying in Goa rather than in any other holiday spot.
For example, The Times noted

Anonymous said...

how it all started ...


Good morning to you all on this wet and windy day on the Central Coast of N S W Australia.


This blog is not intended for the overheated super educated persons, whose main intent is to impress us with their glossary of alternate words and expressions which tend to become meaningless to normal average people.

I will not be impressed by inane one word stupid comments. You may use clear precise philistinic grammar. but keep it readable, for the masses. Overdone obscene statements may be deleted.

Vest said...

Anonymous: Been digging up the past have you?.
Seems some of you could do with a timely reminder. However, lets try to keep it pleasing to everyone.

Aggie said...

Not a recipe I'll be including on my menu anytime soon.

Anonymous said...

if one is capable of letting go and forgiving ... his/her heart is at peace almost always

yes. And Im trying hard to achieve that. I hv hurt ppl as a result of being hurt by them. Now I just wanna put it all behind me and apologise, forgive n forget as much as I can. Cos what am I gonna take when I go? Nothing. But i can LEAVE something when I go. I leave some happy memories and a whole lot of LOVE, cant I. :)

I said Sorry to some bloggers too with whom I had some arguments...I hope they accept it and want to forgive n forget too.

Anonymous said...

Commenters labelling themselves 'anonymous' bugs the crap out of me; I would disable the facility to do so, if I could.

Now, there are three people who have quite commonly commented on one or other of my blogs as 'anonymous' - and they are all very dear lady friends of mine, and I try to be as tolerant of their foible in this regard as I can be. But please - it's not that goddamned difficult to give yourself a distinctive tag.

You don't have to sacrifice your anonymity, you don't have to use your real name, you don't even have to use a nickname that would identify yourself to me alone (although if you're one of my friends, I can't see why you wouldn't!);

but it is useful - essential - to have some label by which we can differentiate your comments from other people's.

If, as has recently happened, we have more than one person commenting on the same thread as 'anonymous', it becomes impossible to work out who's saying what.

Also, of course, there is the problem that if you are going to make needling remarks or 'jokes' about me, they appear far more hostile coming from an 'anonymous' source.

A certain intimacy is necessary for you to take the piss out of someone without causing offence, and you lose that intimacy if don't identify yourself in any way at all.

In fact, as one of these unfortunate 'anonymous' commenters has recently experienced, you will appear to be just a random stranger having a go, and may thus risk attracting counter-invective from my other blog-buddies (the pugnacious 'Mothman' wades in to defend me, with his bloodcurdling battlecry of "I flame, so you don't have to!")...... and possibly even from me, if you get me riled enough.

So, PLEASE, pretty-please-with-fucking-sugar-on-top, all you 'anonymouses' out there, give yourself a 'name' when you comment on here.

ben hardwick said...

Subject: FREE TELSTRA DIRECTORY ASSISTANCE.



PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO OTHER AUSSIES NOW!

For all Australian respondents... Telstra Phone book

Hi everyone,

For anyone contemplating using the Sensis directory service number, 1234, DON'T!

Sensis, as you may or may not know, is a subsidiary of Telstra. The 1234 number is replacing the Telstra 12456 directory assistance number, but this time with outrageous costs attached: 40c to call the number, then 4c A SECOND!

By law, Telstra have to provide a FREE directory assistance number , because they are still majority owned by the government. They choose however not to pass this number on to the public.

What's the free number? 1223

Thumbs down to Telstra for finding a way to 'charge', for a service that is supposed to be provided for free.

Of course, feel free to forward this on...

Ben Hardwick
Lawyer
Commercial Litigation Department
Slater & Gordon
GPO Box 4864VV
Melbourne, Vic, 3001
Phone: 03 9602 8684 Facsimile: 03 9602 8640

saby dasouza said...

Rabbit Breakout

Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking.

"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one.

"I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second.

"I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."

Vest said...

Would the the last anonymous caller please leave an identity, otherwise what is the point in you babbling on.

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