Thursday, 22 May 2008

Flying Penis bashed, Both Donkey and Hon Member wind up in the slammer

Former chess supremo and Kremlin critic Garry Kasparov must have felt like a pawn in a larger political game after a speech he was giving last weekend was interrupted by a radio-controlled flying penis.
The below-the-belt disruption is thought to be a real world copycat version of a similar, virtual attack perpetrated in December 2006 by cyber vandals in the multiplayer online world ‘game’, Second Life. According to the Moscow Times, the prank was staged by "a couple of pro-Kremlin Young Russia activists".
Around 500 fellow opponents of the Kremlin were in attendance for Kasparov’s address to unite opposition political forces at a rally in Moscow when the helicopter rotor-assisted member made an unscheduled appearance.
The unconventional chopper buzzed around to spatterings of applause for around 20 seconds before a minder bashed it to the ground.
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Donkey jailed for assault and battery.
Seems as if the law is an ass in southern Mexico after a donkey has been banged up in a human jail for biting and kicking two men near a ranch in Chiapas.
Officer Sinar Gomez said: "Around here, if someone commits a crime they are jailed, no matter who they are."
Police said that it took six men to subdue the buck-teethed bruiser on Sunday after it bit a 63-year-old man in the chest and kicked another man, fracturing the 52-year-old's ankle.
Promising that the assaulting animal will stay locked up until owner Mauro Gutierrez coughs up for the men’s medicals bills, Officer Gomez did not confirm whether he was prepared to wait donkey’s years.
In March, a bull was incarcerated by Chiapas cops for eating corn crops and destroying two vending stands.
Central coast NSW. OZstrayer, Our former State member of parliament gets a minimum of nine years in the slammer. His pedophile activities were well known by his colleagues prior to his arrest early last year. Today Morris Iemma the State premier was passing the hat around( nothing less than $100.00 bills) accepted for the benefit of former MP Milton Orkopoulos's family, who have fallen on hard times having sold their property since his arrest.
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For many years prior to migrating to Strayer, my family lived near Portsmouth ( Pompey)where 'er indoors' was born.
Fratton Park was the home ground for the Portsmouth football club (or Soccer; an Oz cliche)
I reckon the last time I went there 40 years back I could name most of the players in the team.
Not any more mate, now watching them beat Blackburn Rovers in the FA Cup Semi Final had me confused as I had not seen the teams before as I am not an avid soccer follower.
Blackburn Rovers had Six coloured players in their Eleven, but Portsmouth could only manage One White guy in their eleven; the goal keeper; who, apparently was a foreigner too.
I shall probably get hit with a 'Racist bastard tag for noticing the old home town ain't wot it used ter be.
Today I spent time in the garden farting around doing silly things also getting some fresh air and exercise, it had rained overnight so all the watering had been done-so I did a bit of weeding,
planted veggie seeds and fed the visiting 'One legged pigeon'.
I am not altogether yet, but hopefully in a couple of days I'll be back visiting you all again.

Ta fer now Vest.


19 comments:

Anonymous said...

I didnt read your post
but i am glad u r OK

Rosemary has been holding the fort well

she didnt delete not a single post of mine

Anonymous said...

I am not altogether yet, but hopefully in a couple of days I'll be back visiting you all again.


Wooo Hooo
this means Rm is still in charge for a lil bit longer

Anonymous said...

Someday I'll be an old record


A picture of what once had been




Someday I'll be an old song


That they heard in a dream or a record machine



Someday I'll be an old fashion


With ideas as dated as yours




Someday they'll laugh at our hair and the clothes that we wore


Like we've all laughed before



Someday I'll be an old record


A picture of what once had been




Someday I'll be an old song


That they heard in a dream or a record machine

Anonymous said...

“Certainly not,” McPherson said. “This was a project I wanted to have fun with. There wasn’t much challenge and the thing I hated most was how it was shot very much like a film. Dialogue, controlled lighting, close up, master shot, etc. All that shit makes me soft. I doubt I’ll ever do something as scripted as ‘King of the Jews’ again. Unless I can get a handful of retarded kids to act out ‘Grease’ the musical for me.”

That’s actually a shame because I’d like to see more of the sexual exploits of Jesus. Shot in a few hours on a budget of $250, “King of the Jews” feels more like a small scene from a way bigger piece. I highly enjoyed it, but I simply want more. I don’t think dry humping has really ever been explored and Jesus is far too taboo for the adult industry to touch.


- CCF, July 2006

Aggie said...

Ah well ... the world has always been an ass of a place. No surprises there.
I'm glad you are up and about again Vest ... take care of yourself and enjoy the gardening.

Anonymous said...

... the world has always been an ass of a place.

Aggie
was that for me?

Anonymous said...

VEST u ass
get outta bed

the garbage has to be taken out
the lawn needs mowing
...

-Rosemary

Anonymous said...

if a man cud mount to heaven
and survey the mighty universe
his admiration of its mighty beauties
wud be much diminished

unless he had someone
to share in his pleasure

- Marcus Cicero

Anonymous said...

U guys have brought a lotta pleasure in my life

more so after I lost K

Anonymous said...

"of late VEST, the tone of your blog has started veering towards slutty. yeah, it was smart and sexy before... now i feel its beginning to get sleazy.

i know you are a sensitive and intelligent man(that comes out in your posts and views) and there is more to you than the cleavage shots that have become regular on your blog.

My opinion is that there is a thin line between sexy and slutty & somewhere down the way, that line was crossed here... its all done in fun, but i don't enjoy it....

so, i don't comment... having said that, let me also tell you that you've surprised me. With the amount of visitors and comments you get, do you really care if a few ppl don't visit / don't comment? or what opinions they form about about your blog? I'd not care... honestly, and i thought neither would you..."

Anonymous said...

i am 57
my wife is 54

on our siver wedding anniv
i told my wife

lets go to GOA for honeymoon
she said Not Now
we have no money to splurge

today my wife has Parkinsons
she cant walk properly
she needs help in dressing

she needs plenty help

Vest said...

Anonymous: Who writes,
"of late VEST, the tone of your blog has started veering towards slutty. yeah, it was smart and sexy before... now i feel its beginning to get sleazy.

Well Anon I shall not die wondering who you are. Anonymity is one of the privileges provided on this blog. When statements of this nature occur anonymously it raises the the question should I permit adverse opinion from persons who lack the integrity to divulge their identity.
I suppose to eliminate one's self from this stigma, regulars could add a "Not Me" with their next comment.
Regarding the number of comments.
The Stats reveal an average of approx 22 visitors to every comment I receive, so you are not alone now you have ceased commenting; except for the nagging impulse you had in your attempt to sterilise my recent posts.
Have a thought cleansing day.

Aggie: Thanks for the "Get Well" wishes, Your visits provide an element of sanity among the misc anon twaddle,X.

Anonymous said...

You think I use the F word too much? Lo and behold there's a little Austrian town called FUCKING! Fucking brilliant isnt it? So my Fucking buddies, ooops I forgot you're not from Austria, but anyways. So my blogger buddies, when do you plan to experience Fucking?


My next vacation is going to be a Fucking experience! Would be nice to meet the Fuckers ha.


Imagine driving down the Fucking roads and taking pics of the Fucking scenery?

Wonder what Fucking men look like. The Fucking community can't be that big cos that would mean alot of Fuckers would be seen around (I cant see any Fucker in this pic).

Anyways it looks like a pretty little village so imagine how addicted you might get to Fucking?

awww how Fucking sweet. If you make a friend there, you might even receive a Fucking Xmas card this year.

If they choose to host the next Olympics there it would be Fucking Olympics 2016. And if your next holiday destination reads Fucking, please check first if they have a Fucking Airlines and a Fucking hotel.

Have a good time checking out the spirit of Fucking, I'm sure you'll love Fucking and when you return you might even say I miss Fucking.

Anyways, if there's any Fucker from Fucking reading this, it's a Fucking pleasure to meet you. Fuck ya, ooops I mean good on ya!

Anonymous said...

A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

Vest said...

The last comment has been around and around the blogosphere since day one, and is as ancient as the pickaxe in the BMW and bitch revenge pics.
There are similarities in mainland China where you may visit the street of a thousand bordellos in the twin cities of Wank King And Bonk King.
Mumbai in India has its 'Wankhede Stadium'.

Keshi said...

Glad to know ur ok Vesty. TC n HUGZ!

Keshi.

Anonymous said...

Not me mate - I didn't write it mate. glad to know your well. Iv'e been up to jo bonkers banana land, cairns for two months doing a job, us sydney Abo's cant take the heat like them up there, some lazy sods up there.

wally said...

sorry vesty it was me wally who did the last comment

Vest said...

Wally: I recall the sayings by Mike Carlton on the breakfast show, going back a fair bit. Like Mr Garbagecart, Mr Neverwrong and of course Mr Jo Bonkers Bananas. All pollies copped it including 'BobBaulk' and Malcolm No-trousers.