Sunday, 9 March 2008

Indian Railways the worlds greatest employer deem the width of two horses arses to be four feet eight and a half inches'


Indian Railways the worlds greatest employer deem the width of two horses arses to be four feet eight and a half inches'
There is no exact metric measurement in comparison, BTW this has nothing to do with cricket, so if you are a cricket looney shove off. And you thought being a Horse's Ass wasn't Important(unless you are a Cowboy)The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads. Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used. Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing. Okay! But why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts. So who built those old rutted roads?Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts in the roads...?Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. And bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.Now the twist to the story...When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass....and you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important!

31 comments:

wally said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
wally said...

indian horses are a scrawny lot with small bums

Anonymous said...

The British made an ass of themselves when they came to India to rule

they made us play cricket with them
they made us to wear boot suit and tie in a hot humid climate
they tot us to write letters

Sir
I beg to inform u that ...
......

Your humble servant
yours faithfully
.........

and a lotta more silly stuff


the only good that came from British rule

was
1) the Indian Civil service
now called Indian Administrative Service

2) the National Defence Academy

3) the Indian Army Navy and the Indian Air Force

4) the Indian Railways

Anonymous said...

said Wally big ass

Vest said...

Anonymous: That is quite a lot of good; as you put it, to come to India - via British rule.
Although the ex sub-continent colonies still concede to the occasional politcal blood letting, unlike the country of their former masters. However, not to the extent of the forty odd European controlled ex African colonial territories, who in the main have pursued a regime of constant in fighting, either internally or in conflict with their neigbours.
Absolute anarchy brutality, rape and pillage are the order of things even to this day, after 50 or so years of self rule.
Animalistic attitudes,the Aids virus and the survival of only the bone idle strong will eventually wipe out the population of the African incontinent Continent.
So Sad.

Vest said...

BTW: This is about Railways or Railroads if you are a Yank. so get to it, there must be a million stories mainly about the incompetence of British Rail.

mint julep said...

not all Americans are yankees, I'm from the south and the yanks are from the north-not like you folks all British, is that clear?

Vest said...

Mint Julep: Well wank my doodle its a dandy, a proud ancester of the Southern States privileged class of slave beating fornicaters.
Yes I am British, but not welsh, Irish Or a Scot, but an English/Australian British Commonwealth Citizen, a far better pedigree than a Miscellaneous bred Bitser from fried chicken land.
Have a nice day dickhead. K M A.

How dare these ex colonials try baiting me!!!

Anonymous said...

The first British Standard released by BSI is BS 1


its about standardization of railway tracks



Today International Standardization is done by ISO/IEC headquartered in Geneva

the damn Americans dont cooperate
the whole damn World has gone metric

but the americans are still measuring their dick lenghth in inches

Anonymous said...

Rosemary
where r u ?


I came here to see u
not VEST

Vest said...

Anonymous: Despite Americs's claims to the most forward thinking nation on earth.(Which I doubt is true), America can also claim if they wish, that, they have the most archaic mensuration system, meaninig they still cling to the extinct British imperial system of weights and measures. Mind you its hard to be perfect.
America has the space rockets. However, Britain had the first 'Rocket' the choo choo on rails.

Do you remember this song,
"Choo Choo train beating down the track, gotta keep on moving never coming back-oo oo oo oo got a one way ticket to the blues.
Whose song was it and in what year?.

Anonymous said...

in WWW II
the allies UK USA China fought Germany Japan Italy

the weapons had nuts and bolts
each nation had their own nuts and bolts

the nuts and bolts were not interchangeable
we had to amintain huge inventories

UK had BSW BSP
USA had their own thread system


after WWII the UNO was set up
and ISO/ IEC

just to standardize

Anonymous said...

"Choo Choo train beating down the track

we dont have the answers
tell us VEST

we were not around then
u were

Anonymous said...

USA introduced the UL Mark

u cannot export electrical products to USA without UL Mark

u cannot export to Europe without CE Mark

Britain had the Kite Mark
the KITE MARK is now history after UK joined EU

INDIA has ISI Mark
but it is not mandatory for most products

Anonymous said...

for organizations exporting to EU
u need ISO 9001 certification for the Quality System

the Americans ignored ISO 9001 at first
they had TQM they said
which they said is far more superior

TQM is now history
ISO 9001: 2000 embodies TQM principles

America had QS 9000 for automotive sector

ISO came up with ISO/TS 16949
QS 9000 was killed

America has SA 8000
ISO came up with ISO 26000
but it is not mandatory

SA 8000 was created to block exports from CHINA and India

CHINA and INDIA is dominating world trade today

they both make good quality products far cheaper


today 5 Ford Companies in USA are for sale by auction

they cannot compete with Japanese and korean cars
INDIA (TATA) launched the worlds cheapest car electric pollution free

selling at 100K INR

USA is fucked
and is now in recession

p tavender said...

Dear L Very sad that you have been in the Wars. Stan Reeder showed me a photo of you. Rita and I hope that you are fit and well again now. We missed you at the West Ryde Club. I rang you a few times , but got no reply. Anyway, all the best to you, and Rosemary. From Rita and Phil Tavender.

Vest said...

The clue to the song is "One way ticket to ...t....b" 1960, N, S.

During 1969. As overseer on the night shift at Tews Engineering near Portsmouth England, Bob our Toolmaker who also operated the centre lathe, stuffed up thousands of pounds sterling worth of finished spare parts for Lansing And Bagnal Fork lift trucks (American firm) by using BSF thread taps instead of the metric thread taps. I rang the boss at 4:am in the morning, who fired Bob on the spot.

Anonymous said...

poor Bob

Anonymous said...

one way ticket to the moon?
is that it?

dont be silly

Anonymous said...

USA is now trying to block Indian labor in America

lissen to OBAMA and Hillary on outsourcing


but it is not possible
WTO insists on free trade in goods and services

Anonymous said...

USA got fucked by the sub prime fiasco too

Anonymous said...

Bob goofed real bad
poor bloke

Keshi said...

hey Vesty hows ya now? :)

Keshi.

Vest said...

Anon: Not the moon, but "One way ticket to the blues" by Neil Sedaka 1960, came out the same time as the Cantonese "Second Spring" Otherwise called "The Ding Dong Song:
Translation: I hear my bell go ding dong, ding dong beside my heart.
Each time you say love me, ding dong ding dong, I just can't wait too long, I hear my bell go ding dong I hear my bell go----Ding dong (and so on).

BTW. Bob got what he deserved for his gross incompetence.

Keshi: Thanks for calling, nowhere near right as yet, Eye throbbing, cheek sore, headaches- especially at night, Damm!!
How's the kids?xxx.

Nagging wife at the zoo was dragged off to the cage of a horny Gorrilla.
She screamed at her husband saying
"Darling darling what shall I do"
The husband replied.
"Tell him you have a headache"

Amy...Swansea. said...

Havent been too well myself lately, hope you get better soon, love you, Amy.

rosemary said...

Sorry Jim, I have a head ache ))):

Anonymous said...

Heyyyy Rosemary

u shud be using that line on VEST
not me

I am made in India
cheaper and better
goods and services

Anonymous said...

VEST has gott good eye sight
he can see tiny things


fancy a guy
who cant see his own dick

Anonymous said...

I think the British are as weird as the Yanks

Rosemary is an exception
she is irish

Anonymous said...

heyyyy VEST

i bet Keshi came here to see me
not u

she misses me bad

Anonymous said...

Choo, choo train chuggin' down the track
Gotta travel on, never comin' back
Oh, oh got a one way ticket to the blues

Bye, bye love my baby's leavin' me
Now lonely teardrops are all that I can see
Oh, oh got a one way ticket to the blues

Gonna take a trip to lonesome town
Gonna stay at heartbreak hotel
A fool such as I that never learns
I cry a tear so well

Choo, choo train chuggin' down the track
Gotta travel on, never comin' back
Oh, oh got a one way ticket to the blues

Oh, oh got a one way ticket to the blues

Gonna take a trip to lonesome town
Gonna stay at heartbreak hotel
A fool such as I that never learns
I cry a tear so well

Choo, choo train chuggin' down the track

Gotta travel on, never comin' back
Oh, oh got a one way ticket to the blues

Oh, oh got a one way ticket to the blues

Oh, oh got a one way ticket to the blues