Wednesday, 22 August 2007

The Right Knee or Not the Right Knee. That is the Question?.

I'm off to the hospital tomorrow to get my knee fixed, only there for a day or two, then I shall be sent home to recover, 'Hopefully'. I qualify to have the procedure done for free, so I had to wait a few months which saved me a fair amount and enough to keep me in scotch for a couple of years. When the hospital sent me the info way back it mentioned my left knee, I wrote to the hospital explaining it was not the right knee that they had on their records, like the left knee was not the right knee and the right knee is not the wrong one but the knee that needs fixing-right. I then explained that, I would; on arrival in case of confusion label my left knee (This is not the right knee). Last week I had a discussion with the anethetist at the hospital during which I noticed the records were still showing the left knee the wrong knee, I hope they sort it out before I temporarily depart to the hereafter, I'll take a look around for angels etc while away with the fairies.
Makes one wonder when you drift off whether you will be coming back, you can't tell these days with all the skulduggery going on in the world, the anethetist is Portuguese/Asian, glad he isn't from Ranier Minnesota.

GOING AROUND THE BEND.

NOW I FEEL BETTER I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE!

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!!
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder& lt; BR>

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway,I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques,
but first I need to push the Coke aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm,and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote,but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed

the bills aren't paid

there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,and I'll try to get some help for it,but first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favour.
Forward this message to everyone you know,because I don't remember who the heck I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

All of you have a lovely day.

VEST Daily Gaggle.

11 comments:

Lolly said...

Thanks for the giggle Mr. Vest!

Hope your knee recovery goes well and it's bett'r than new...

I have crappy knees...they creek & eeeverything...

Perhaps we can work a trade for your cane when you're fully recovered and feeling spritly ;)

Vest said...

Anonymous: Thanks for your sincere wishes, you really are such a nice person and a credit to your family and friends.
The reason I have a dysfunctional knee is by praying for worthy people like yourself so that they may continue to lead an unconscionable life of mayhem and debauchery and wind up in Old Nics Mansion.
By the way. Try to get something done about your stutter.xxx.

HBC Member said...

hi vesty, see you had a visit from the stutter nutter, Bet your dick could tell a few stories or two being an ex sailor. more than that prick. avagday jm.

kate..fb said...

Best of luck vesty,xxxxx kate

amy...swansea said...

Its usually the case when foul language is present within a comment it has been used by a cowardly numbskull with lttle else to offer to mankind.
Hope every goes well today, best wishes Amy,X :)))))

Vest said...

He may be back tomorrow, I am to delete the sicko anonymous comment stating'I hope they cut your prick(penis) off instead)' etc. That hardy old weapon would blunt the sharpest blade I believe. I have had a tiring day, thank you young ladies for your comments, and so to bed, Rosemary. For Vest.

Jim said...

DAMN
he survived the Op

my sympathies to Rosemary
she will have to live a while longer with this old fart

saby said...

Hi Rosemary

I was out of town and forgot the date
What did u expect?

no chance of the old man croaking
he is gonna out live u

Saby

Anonymous said...

When I was 20, I had eyes only for girls my age. Any woman over 30 was ancient, over 40 invisible.



Today, at 70, I still appreciate the 20-year-old for her youthful looks, vigor, and (occasional) sweet innocence.

But I equally enjoy women of my own age and beyond, and every age in between. I've learned that each has its own special wonders, attractions, magic and beauty.

As I grow in age, I value mature ladies most of all. Here are just a few of the reasons senior men sing the praises of older women:

An older woman knows how to smile with such brightness and truth, old men stagger.

An older woman will never ask out of the blue, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think.

An older woman's been around long enough to know who she is, what she wants, and from whom. By the age of 50, few women are wishy-washy. About anything. Thank God!

And yes, once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart!

Her libido's stronger.

Her fear of pregnancy's gone.

Her appreciation of experienced lovemaking is honed and reciprocal.

And she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to!)

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, fearing that you might think worse of her. An older woman doesn't give a damn.



“If the Lord made anything better than a woman, He kept it for Himself.” — Jerry Lee Lewis

An older, single woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful relationships" and "long-term commitments." Can't relate? Can't commit? She could care less. The last thing she needs in her life is another whiny, dependent lover!

Older women are sublime. They seldom contemplate having a shouting match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive dinner. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness. They're generous with praise, often undeserved.

An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A young woman often snarls with distrust when "her guy" is with other women. Older women couldn't care less.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. Like your mother, they always know.

Yes, we geezers praise older women for a multitude of reasons. These are but a few.

Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal.

For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 75 there's a bald, paunchy relic with his yellow pants belted at his armpits making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

© Copyright 2000 - 2006—Frank Kaiser

Anonymous said...

When Aretha and Jethro english celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in Atlanta two years ago, their two adult children teased them about diminishing body chemistry. But the couple's venerable role as great-grandparents doesn't keep them from regularly affirming their sexiness.

Mrs. English is amused that many of her peers donht even talk about, let along engange in, sexual activity, a bodily function she ranks in importance with respiration and digestion. She rejects social taboos against aging persons expressing sexual needs. She also rejects mythical claims that sexual desire automatically ebbs with age, declining in the 40s and hitting bottom sometime between 60 and 65. Nor does she agree with those latter-day Victorians who equate sex with S-I-N.

Like Mrs. English, many of the nation's 30 million people (one of every seven) who are 60 or older are much more active sexually than is generally believed. "People are having sex long after they start wearing reading glasses and hearing aids," says one sex behavior researcher.

fem asian anon said...

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!Tell the people you love, that you love them at every opportunity.And keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.You don't need friends that make you miserable.You want someone that lifted your spirit and emotions.

The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. Be alive while you are alive.Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.Enjoy the simple things.Cherish your health, preserve it if it's good, improve it if it's unstable and get help should it's beyond what you can improve.

Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Birthday is one of the day that you could share with the people you choose, to be happy.Your home is your refuge.When you're old....keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle as an idle mind is the devil's workshop which can cause Alzheimer.

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...