Thursday, 8 February 2007

Ok you Skinnies. Here's your chance to become Obese like your fat friends

I expect you remember the standard make up of the school kid gangs, one tall, three average size and one fat boy with spectacles. During recent years the order of things have changed to three four eyed fatties a stunted ginger head skinny.and a very fat girl, who is usually called tweety or laura for some odd reason.
So if you are a skinny and wish to move outwards to the fat trendy status, here is the best way to start.
In the School Canteen or in the lunch box mummy has prepared for you is the catalyst for expansion and the means to short circuit your life span. Start right now consuming heaps of Trans Fats which is found in a variety of foodstuffs notably those in a list shortly to follow, this will get you a proud pork belly in little or no time. Why? Because this crap you eat tastes delicious and is addictive because of that.
Mothers, whack some in your child's lunch pack, your skinny kid will love it and become a fat and happy rotund little blob in the wink of an eye.
Trans Fats are a deadly poison found on most supermarket shelves, even small doses are harmful, Trans fats are made synthetically in a process called Hydrogenisation. The changed fats extend the shelf life of cooking oil and improves the appearance and texture of baked food such as scones, muffins and cakes .
If a total ban is imposed, major food outlets will feel the impact most, also the fast food chain stores like McDonald's , KFC, Wendy's and Dunkin' Donuts.
So mums and dads keep your eyes peeled for this trans fats thingy if you want to stay thin, look for items which display the sign 'No Trans Fats, anything else has usually got this Trans fat crap. These are a few items you could avoid like the plague.

Margarine spreads and shortening.
Deep Fried Foods.
Frozen foods, including sweet pastries, sausage rolls, pies and fish fingers.
Pastries, donuts, muffins and cakes.
Biscuits, cookies and instant noodles.
Crackers, chips and crisps.
Confectionery,lollies-Candy and Chocolate, cereal bars and slices.
Cake mixes, dips, sauces and Chocolate spreads.

Ignore this warning and you may become only useful as a professional Santa Claus or a fat Tweety or Laura Claus.

Dedicated to two Fat Yankee Broads, Laura Widebeam and Tweety Fantail-Stern.

Click here for more info. http://www.choice.com.au

9 comments:

mother said...

Whats this...are you a bloody nutritionist now as well as a shit stirrer.... how do you know this to be true?

Vest said...

Mother: I am not sure what sort of answer you require at the moment, so I won't.

For other mothers and others who are not mothers.
The information above has been collected by a number of people who are experts in this field.
Click on to the directions given for more info.

Vest said...

Go to the top of the page, click onto the 'Good fat Bad fat' advert' this video will really have an effect on your future eating habits, go on do it now,then tell your family and friends to do likewise, they will thank you for informing them.

Anonymous said...

You called on my blog in the USA and you were very rude to me it was over the top and not nice at all.

Vest said...

Anon: If it was me who called on your blog as you say, it was more than likely warranted.
I have commented on several blog sites over the past few days in reply to comments which appeared on the TSHSMOM blog, run by a surly foul mouthed old bag.
So it would seem that you would be one of those persons, who made derogatory remarks about me on the TSHSMOM blog, if so don't come here whining, in any case you are not worth your salt(gutless) if you complain anonymously.

Vest said...

FROM NORTH AMERICA:

Blogger (Vancouver Voyeur), a self confessed Legal Industry Dyke (Lesbo)has suggested to commenter's on the disgusting TSHSMOM Blog, that, you should all take a same gender partner for a froLICKING good sex romp on V D Feb-14, I presume she means St Valentines day. This Suggestion could produce more than just a hand CLAP.

Vest said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JANET from derby Uk. said...

Hello Vestie darling, I have just returned from my lengthy* romantic holiday in Cyprus. My present alter ego is 'EMILY' in your book, she must have been fabulous.
Anyhow there is an E mail for you soon, a very descriptive a/c of the hol, write soon, passionately yours Janet. xoxoxox *Oooh Oooh.

Vest said...

Dear Janet: Your email received, like always it aroused the feeling of well being within my loins. Should these frequent descriptive accounts of your intimate adventures continue it may be deemed necessary to cancel my monthly subscription to Penthouse,
however, a reply to your email has been sent, thank you Janet.

Its a pity there are so few Janet types around. instead of the hobnailed booted sweaty Betty's from Minnesota giving me a hard time.

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

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