Thursday, 31 August 2006

A CACHE OF CASH LYING AROUND

Bert and Betty are childhood sweethearts and were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
They strolled down the road to their old school and found the desk where he had carved, " I Love You, Betty."
On their way back home, a large bag of money falls at their feet from a passing Armoured car.
They take the bag home and find it contains $50,000. Bert Say's "We'll have to give it back".
But Betty Say's, "No finders keepers."
Later that day, police going from door to door ask them if they know anything about the stolen money. Betty Say's she doesn't.
"She's lying " Bert Say's. "She hid it in the attic."
"Don't listen to him." Say's Betty. "He's going senile."
One of the police officers tells Bert, "OK, You'd better tell us the story from the beginning."
Bert Say's, "Well, Betty and I were walking home from school. . . . . "
The officer Say's to his partner, " Come on -we're outta of here!"

Could there be a sequel to this story, what do you think may have happened.

For the latest news stories from australia and around the world click below.
www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph

Wednesday, 30 August 2006

SPRING BRINGS HAPPIER TIMES AND HOPE FOR A BRIGHTER FUTURE.

KINDNESS TO OTHERS is the key, not the out dated secular witchcraft churned out by the faith industry.
If people would dare to speak to one another unreservedly, there would be a good deal less sorrow in the future of our world.
In the name of Religion - Freedom - Vengeance - What you will, / A word is enough to raise mankind to kill.
If you must use four letter words to emphasise or to punctuate the acidity of your opinion, soften the blow to your readers ears; use of the following words will achieve more, Good, Love, Warm, Kind, Help, Love.

To read about the troubles and kind actions in our world today. click below, to my favorite newspaper, which I have delivered to my door Daily.

www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph

Tuesday, 29 August 2006

(POOPS) PET POLICY has the backing of the RSPCA

A pet program that looks after animals belonging to elderly , isolated hospital patients is being expanded as a result of it success.
The program called pets of older persons (POOPS) has the backing of the RSPCA.
The scheme which has been expanded to include palliative-care patients, provides foster care for pets, hospital visits to see their owners, veterinary checks and regular grooming.
This year, POOPS has taken care of 66dogs, 38 cats, 5 horses, 1 rabbit, 6 rats and 9 birds.
What sort of pet will you be taking to see grandma in hospital, surely not a rat or a skunk?
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A man has been given a one year good behaviour bond after swinging a cat by its tail and slamming it repeatedly on the road.
The law in NSW AUSTRALIA was recently changed to recognise that animal cruelty is not acceptable and the maximum penalty for this crime is two years in the slammer.
I suggest we bring back public thrashing for crimes of violence, a dozen strokes across the buttocks would deter these cruel bastards. plus a substantial fine in line with their status

THE BEST FUEL DISCOUNT OFFER YET. YOUR SUPER SEX DRIVE WILL DRIVE YOUR DOLLAR FURTHER

This is not like the common supermarket ploy like the more you spend the greater the discount at the gas station pump, these discounts around NSW OZ rarely exceed 5 cents off per liter.
We have a 'Cat house' in a Sydney suburb offering 20 cents off per liter.
The 'SCARLET SITE' in Granville, Sydney, just one from hundreds of Sydneys Whore houses
www.thesite.com.au

THIS IS NOT COMPULSARY VIEWING.

Saturday, 26 August 2006

Oh yeah Oh yea, ORGASMS ON WELFARE. also COULD THIS BE THE DEMISE OF MR ALIAS.

Blackpool Lancashire England: A 49 year old woman from Blackpool; Englands premier seaside resort, who has 40 orgasms a day due to a sexual condition, was yesterday put on probation for a $15,000 welfare fraud.

CALCUTTA: An Indian man has sacrificed himself by slitting his throat in front of an Indian Diety at a temple in Uttar Pradesh yesterday.
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For the Best News of the day go to. www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph

Dont forget to click onto the JL Spencers book cover.

Thursday, 24 August 2006

For the Best News from Australia. Click below.

The daily telegraph has all of the up to date stories of the day.

www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph. My favourite newspaper.

For vests latest book, click onto the book cover pic.

I WANNIT RITON RIT NOT RITEN ROTON

THIS IS BOUND TO GET UP THE NOSES OF WRITERS WHO USE PHILISTINIC GRAMMER. THE MODERN ERA OF ELECTRONIC COMMUNICATION IS HERE TO STAY.
The simplified spelling society (www.spellingsociety.org), est1908, is on roll to modernise English spelling and is receiving most support from texters and E mailers.
While the society has been arguing to make the LERNIN of SPELIN EZIER, it is academic for users of 21st CENTRI instant communication technology.
There is no need for a society to lobby for simplification, it is being done right now, all English Spelling Pedants with their rules and exceptions can go to fiddlesticks.
The S S S (Sounds like the new fascist order of spelling) wants the changes implemented Now! and Brought into official use by2008, its centenary year.
I for one do not think it is a great Idea as I have taken 80 bloody years to learn and earn a possible 80 percent pass mark in English (And I am English) A few months back I received criticism from two persons within the blogosphere regarding the quality of my writing , learned people with few other skills if any other than being able to confuse people with their parchment and Quill trickery, my reply to them using nautical language was not answered.
English has a possible 3,500 commonly used words that do not follow the 90 odd English spelling patterns. For example et as in pet is the same sound as in threat: ate in mate is the same as in great and so on.
Other languages are not so complicated,. German has 800 non pattern words Spanish 600 and Italian 400. Then there are the sounds , yes, there are 12 different ways to spell the sound of EE in English.
The exceptions and similarities of English is time consuming and difficult and is the main cause of low literacy standards, when compared to most non English speaking countries.
It takes only two years at school for Italian speakers to become confident spellers.
Mind you we are all aware that the Italians have the most advanced system of body language, like arm waving gesticulations sometimes described as Roman Semaphore.
But the best argument of all is that if we had simplified phonetic spelling, spelling homework would be banished forever. Shorli u kids wood like that.

Monday, 21 August 2006

URGENT BLOOD DONOR APPEAL.. AUSTRALIANS ARE BEING ASKED TO GIVE BLOOD URGENTLY

There is only one more days supply left.
The Australian Red Cross Blood Service yesterday said blood supplies had plummeted to dangerously low levels, nationally the supply stands at nearly two days.
The sad thing is only 3% of Australians had given blood in the past year.
So come on you guys , Those pretty dracula's are waiting , all they need each time you go is about half an armful.
This message also goes out to the people of all Nations. If you can find time to sit around the home for no useful purpose or at a loose end, get up and get down to your local blood bank.
" Don't know where it is " look in the telephone directory.
You will probably be saving some persons life, doesn' t that make you feel good.

NO!! IT AIN"T ME MATE _ YOUVE GOT THE WRONG GEEZER.I fink.

Vest would like to confirm he is definitely not the person known as Saby, recently I have had email messages from known bloggers confirming they received comments from my blog , some anon some using my blog details , this is not funny , however, most people will now who the culprit is . Those persons who sent those nasty emails were replied to more than a week ago, no reply as yet, so adios , please don't bother. It does seem that I am receiving no fewer callers , but less comments.
Having put that to rest, it will be wait and see time, and in the meanwhile I'll have time to finish my new project which I am enjoying doing, as it should prove more profitable than the last; although recently it received some unusually rewarding publicity on an Indian Sub/Cont Blogsite.
CLICK on the book icon to reveal more info.

Don't forget if you want front line news from Australia, click here, www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph

The web address of your overseas news papers would be appreciated too, thank you, vest.

Saturday, 19 August 2006

THE RSL's ADOPT THEIR DOUBLE STANDARDS FOR THE RODNEY RUDE SHOW "Lest We Forget"

THE RETURNED SERVICEMENS LEAGUE CLUBS ARE AT FAULT.
It would seem that the "Lest we forget" principles of these clubs; in particular the laws concerning blasphemy, lewd remarks and general bad behaviour are conveniently cast aside when they seize upon an opportunity to make a fast buck.
Try uttering the 'F' word or an equally disdainful four letter cliche within ear shot of an offended club worker or member; and 'Out you Go mate', It is just not tolerated full stop.
We have had to tolerate these classic examples of double standards for far too long.
Soon to appear at an RSL Club close to my home on the central coast of NSW, as an entertainer; is an exponent of filth and depravity.
FOUL LANGUAGE SLIDES FROM THE MOUTH OF THIS HORRIBLE LOOKING CREATURE LIKE EXCREMENT FROM A SEWER PIPE.
This distinguished entertainer RODNEY RUDE has been around far too long, but his greasy looks and foul language will still be a draw card for those brain dead simpletons who will willingly pay $44-00 a ticket to the temporarily deaf club managements.

Wednesday, 16 August 2006

GETTING FRUITY IS BECOMING HARDER ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIKE YOUR BANANA REGULARLY. Becoming tipsy while waiting is a cheaper option.

GRAPE and apple growers have benefited from Australia's banana drought, according to research into customer spending.
When banana prices skyrocketed from$2 a kilogram to more than $13 in the wake of Cyclone Larry, customers went elsewhere.
Research shows just two out of ten Sydney households bought bananas in June-July, compared with 7 out of ten a year ago.
The study found people bought more grapes and apples. Sales of pears melons and citrus fruits also increased.
However, there are also times an ill wind brings good fortune; to grape growers in particular, due to the glut of wine producing grapes, which had resulted in the over supply of wine worldwide.
Although I am not an avid wine quaffer. occasionally there pops up a time when wine for dinner guests is a must.
Recently cheaper wine has come onto the market, the many differing types in the mid price range have fallen to an average of 50% and in one range even more, during the past weeks I have bought wines (good quality) for as little as $4 per 750ml Bot 13% alc. (US$3) last week nearest and dearest and I bought two cases of South Australian Chardonnay(A beautiful drop) 2x12, 750ml at AU $45-60 the lot. "Yes one dollar ninety per bottle" Or US$1-50 per bot..
Probably cheaper than Coke at the 7-11.

Friday, 11 August 2006

A LETTER TO SABY

THE REV FATHER DOMINIC PATRICK PAUL O'LEARY
HELPING THE HOPELESS CHAPEL. SYDNEY NSW 2000 AUSTRALIA.
Motto, "We teach you how to live again"

TO: Mr Saby Dasouza
The Gutter
Sewer End.
MUMBAI
INDIA.

Dear Mr Saby

It is with great sadness I have to inform you of the passing of Mr Barry Dogshead, formerly the president of the famous BIDWILL Yacht Club in Western Sydney. You may be aware of his fall from grace about 7 years ago when he was awarded 7 years in the slammer. convicted on charges of bigamy, embezzlement and child pornography.
After five years he was released and for two years until recently was within my care, although he had degenerated into slobbering unkempt immoral drunken foulmouth, it was his image; slobbering in vomit at the steps of my chapel which drew the congregation.
His smelly appearance bloodshot eyes and blasphemous statements were enough for people to realise the path of the sinner led eventually to the same state as Mr Dogshead, which brings me to this important question, as I am at my wits end.
Trying to find a replacement for Barry; although some people jokingly mentioned a few upstanding men including a Mr vest and a bishop, our final choice came from a list of convicted criminals and your goodself. So, you being the only one available, the blogging community have chosen you for Mr Dogsheads successor as you have all the necessary qualifications and more. Remember you come highly recommended, for your horrific antisocial behaviour.

Looking forward to seeing you soon Rev O'Leary.

Wednesday, 9 August 2006

CENSUS FOR AUSTRALIA, YEAR 2006..

Today August 9, the collecting of census forms begins Australia wide and my form stated the minimum of information for the Govt records.
I for one, absolutely refuse to believe that this information gleaned from the members of the public, will not be used or disclosed publicly until the year 2105.
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I still shall not refer to various entities within Govt circles whose nefarious goings on continue to hit the front pages of the daily newspapers, which contain articles on fraudulent Cops, crooked judges, sex orgies in prisons also in police training establishments, gang rapes , shootings and a plethora of day today hold ups. Why ?, you may ask. No need to is the answer, click on here for all the news and screws, saves so much of my valuable time. www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph
And if at any time I receive the courtesy of a reply from you guys out there, would you kindly reciprocate by leaving me the website details of your local news paper(IN ENGLISH please.)
"Now isn't that a great idea".

Sunday, 6 August 2006

We could do with a few more women, but please bring your own Rain

The12 residents of the tiny outback NSW village of Byrock have not seen rain for seven years.
For the past two months they have had to truck in 36,000 litres of water from the outback town of Burke twice a week.
"It was the June long weekend when the panic set in," Peter Pimlott manager of Byrocks only Pub, said.
"About 500 people came here for the goat races and we'd run out of water".
Last week, the govt approved a $48,000 grant to Bourke shire Council for water to be trucked in until next June. Locals think it is a "stupid" and "illogical idea. They claim for about $30,000, they could create a permanent water supply. There is a Bore hole on my property with lots of lovely water- enough for the whole town, forever, resident mick Knight said.
"Its a bit salty so we would need a desalination plant, which would cost about$11 ,000.We could set it up and pipe it to residents for about $30,000 and manage it ourselves".
In the past four years, Byrock's population has also dried up. the latest casualty is Byrock public school, which closed in April.
But the 12 residents say they wouldn't live anywhere else.
"Byrock's wonderful," Mr Pimlotts wife Gloria said. "But we could do with more women".
I passed through Byrock on my recent travels , the place is quite picturesque and I don't recall seeing any women apart from old Gloria,.
So here's your chance to make it big time, pop along to the local Australian Consulate and they will get you there pretty fast, especially unattached USA & Canadian ladies. So remember you darlings who are bored with your present circumstances, opportunity is knocking at your door, we need you desperately. but don't forget to bring your own Rain.


Click here for J L Spencer's novel. http://www.wavinggoodbyetoathousandflies.com

Friday, 4 August 2006

Why I shall not post Grimy police and political stories in the future

Listening to the radio and Television also absorbing page after page of dodgy goings on by our peers, masters and leaders in the faith industry, you will be better served by getting it first hand and with more detail; by clicking on to the pages of my favorite news paper, which for a paltry sum of $154-7o, and a saving of $45-00 off the stand price, can be delivered to your residence free for six months. Of course this only applies to NSW Australian persons.
However, clicking here, www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph you will get a free sticky beak into the goings on in Australia's most populated state(did you know that a quarter of the Oz population live in and around the Sydney met and greater 50Klm rad area. This does not mean that NSW skinflints should not fork out for their favorite newspaper. This info is primarily for overseas persons like Poms septics and canucks , who are very vague about the unusual and sometimes sordid and of course the sensitive and sad family stories which emerge at breakfast time, which help us worry for the rest of the day, or have bad dreams if your working a night shift.
So what are you waiting for, start clicking, there is stuff like police sexual harassment there that I have briefly mentioned before. Have fun , Vest.


click for info on http://www.wavinggoodbyetoathousandflies.com

Thursday, 3 August 2006

BUSY BUSY BUSY, Social Events And Birthdays Galore.

During the past six weeks I have been overrun with social engagements. Birthdays, Funerals , Christenings, AGMs , and other misc never ending runarounds, my health concerns, and avoiding people who are impoverished. I tend to nod off as soon as an opportunity arises for me to relax.
On the blog front it has been a trifle hilarious on four particular Weblogs each trying to out do the others with their own particular brand of culture and mysticisms; which unfortunately ended in a slanging match and which hopefully has now ceased and if you are listening out there in blog land; lets leave it that way, thank you.

Here is an oldy:
" that's why I propose that as from today..........."
You do not keep anything for a special occasion. Because every day you live is a special occasion.
Search for knowledge, read more!! Sit on your front porch and admire the view without paying attention to the needs.
Pass more time with your family, eat your favorite food, visit the places you love.
Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment, it isn't only survival.
Use your favorite goblets, do not save your best perfume; use it every time you feel you want to.
Take out of your vocabulary phrases like 'One of these days' and 'Someday'.
Let's write that letter we thought of writing 'One of these days '.
Lets tell our families and friends how much we love them.
that's why, do not delay anything adding laughter and joy to your life.
Every day, hour and minute are special.
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I have just this minute received news that my son Andrew father of Charlotte 7 months, have both had an accident in their home, Andrew fell with the baby after tripping on her loose blanket on the floor, both are in a satisfactory state after visiting hospital, Charlotte has fractured right Femur and Andrew 6 fractured ribs and right femur.

If there is any one out there waiting to give me a some bad news please kindly put it on hold for a while, and the rest of you watch where you are treading, take care. Vest.

For info on John Leonard Spencers novel; click here
http://www.wavinggoodbyetoathousandflies.com

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...