Thursday, 15 June 2006

ENGLISH THAT DEFIES INTERPRETATION

Well yank my doodle this is a real dandy, this is right up my street, for years I suffered listening to this kind of codswallop, while serving in the British Navy, it now appears the 2nd best navy in the world has its own titillating but confusing jargon.
I was quite relieved to discover that three inmates at Guantanamo had not committed suicide,
It seems that it was just a communications glitch by the US Navy. The three men apparently just simply committed an act of asymmetric warfare. Sadly and unexpectedly for the US Navy, it has proved to be every bit as lethal as suicide.
Who in the world would have guessed that?
The cause of death was by hanging, but should they have survived their act of self destruction, they would have choked anyway on the over blown stupid frippery of the Base Commander Rear Admiral Harry Harris ( bomb happy Harry).
"I believe this was not an act of desperation but an act of asymmetric warfare against us" he said.
That is probably why Harry is in the rear and only suitable for a desk shore job.
I have met many guys like Harry Whose incompetence was feared by all, like the Harry's of today.
Imagine Harry under pressure during war time on the bridge of a warship.
"There are enemy planes congregating in an asymmetric pattern with every intention of transporting themselves down towards us while simultaneously releasing powerful airborne explosives that have the power to completely annihilate this sh--....BOOM! Sorry Harry. We were just a bit too late to get your message.
Harry should carry a verbal Rosetta stone so to interpret the bullshite hieroglyphics of what he says. and he should be keel hauled or whatever they do these days.
Saying something is "asymmetric warfare" is bewilderingly inexplicable puzzling obtuse, it is mystically brilliant.
Harry highlights a growing extension by society including business, the military, politicians and the public into the web of nebulous speaking and writing.
It is a type of new speak. A language that defies interpretation.
It may have started with garbage men becoming sanitation engineers or stokers on ships being given the title of marine engineers.
But it is the military who embrace such obfuscation...(sorry) who embrace such confused language.
Only the military could provide so many euphemisms for"Kill" to avoid using the word its self.
Targets are never killed. They are taken out. They can be terminated with extreme prejudice.
Harry would have been proud of that one.

27 comments:

saby said...

u gott beeg dreams baby
but to dream
u gotta be asleep

-Bob Dylan

saby said...

damn
i read dis post twice

i am still in the dark
y cant u speak english like the americans do

gordon said...

Gee vesty who is the oddball with funny ears?
dont think you will get much comment from the septic tanks on this post-- taking the pee out of a top american sailor boy

Vest said...

Not the least Bit concerned Gordon. Most US Cits would think a Rear Admiral was a Butterfly that flew backwards. In any case they are far too busy promoting the land of the free and fighting off free loaders wanting a slice of the action, and the rest are busy building garages for their 2nd car in sticks-ville Minnesota.

Vest said...

Gordon: I have visited the US Navy base At Guantanamo Cuba, my log book shows ,April 11-14 1958 also April 3-4 and 8-10 1965.
reminds me of the Kiwi Group Dragon, and their song 'April Sun In Cuba'.
Records also show. Arrived Portsmouth Eng 21 April, 1958,and on that day my eldest son 23-9-53 was twice as old as my second son, 27-6-56, confusing? not really.
maintaining a fertile mind at sea was essential, keeping a journal my passion.

Vest said...

Correction Correction; last commenshould read 1954 not 1953.

saby said...

journal ?
women call dem diaries

michele said...

I never noticed them using
the term taken out instead of
killed.

Vest said...

Saby: (Journals)As you are neither one or the other you have a choice.

saby said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
zed said...

hi mr vest where did the gink with the gollywog dial come from

Vest said...

saby; I do not wish to know the the dimensions of your appendages thank you.

amerigo man said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Vest said...

amerigo man; your comment deleted.
If you wish to stir the can do it in a civilised manner, thank you.

amerigo man said...

point taken- but I take exception to your remarks regarding the us navy- I was a enlisted man on battlleship Missouri 1944 .august, only 20 at time was in aa gun turret saw many kamekases in the pacific-I am now 83-still in your diapers when I was serving mr limey.

Vest said...

amerigo man: thank you for your comment, I am about to have dinner, but I will leave you with this Question, What was the name of the British Battleship anchored aprox 350yds from USS Missouri At Guam after operation iceberg May 28-30, 1945, Clue; you gave that Brit ship a ice cream machine, I shall return shortly vest.

Vest said...

Amerigo man; back from roast beef and yorkshire Pud.
Now let's see.
You : Born 1923 Being you are now 83.
Joined Missouri Aged 20 Aug 1944.
served until end of war Aug 1945.
Tell me: How could you see any aircraft including Jap kamikazes from the interior of an enclosed armor plated gun turret controlled by the gun director high in the superstructure.

Me VEST: Born 16-7- 1942 now near 80.
Joined Brit Navy 7-1-1942, aged 15 years 5 months, 31 days after US enters WW2. Service delayed by cancer treatment at 16, resumed training, joined first warship at 17yrs 2 months. Sept 1943
Served in the Atlantic, Mediterranean, Indian ocean, and the last 9 months in the Pacific on the Battle ship HMS King George V operating with the US Pacific Fleet until the end of the war.
My action station, the Air defence Control Position. a frightful undefended open area with very little cover, my friend on the starboard side and I on the port side would have seen those kamikazes sooner and far more often, than ANYONE on our ship, it was brown trouser times, yes , Amerigo man; diapers would have come in handy.
Sorry to have been there longer in the fray than you, but then there were younger CHILDREN than I serving on my ship. yes it was my ship which was near the Missouri at Guam. If you require more info I have plenty, and the reason others died and I survived was; I believed I was far too young to die.

Vest said...

Typo error Vests D O B being 16-7-1926 not as stated 16-7-1942, sorry.

Vest said...

1945: In a speech addressed to US Navy Admirals Nimitz, Halsey and other senior officers, the speaker Vice Admiral Sir Bernard Rawlings Royal Navy Stated-
"I am certain that those at home in Britain have no idea of what these long operating periods mean(He is referring to 3-4 months at sea in constant war activity)nor of the strain put on those in the ships, so many of whom, both officers and men, are mere children.
I have in my flagship the Battleship HMS King George v Leading Hands of 19 and Petty Officers of 21. and boy seamen who are recently 17 yrs old.
when I took on that which this untrained youth has managed to accomplish and to stick out, then I have no fear for the future of the British Navy, provided, but only provided, that we handle them with vision and understanding, and that we recognise them for what they were and are- people of great courage who would follow one anywhere, and whose keynote was that the word "impossible" did not exist".
"Our names will not go down in history except perhaps in some dusty naval archives, God bless you all".

Not even the great Admiral Horatio Nelson spoke about the men under his command in this fashion.

izzy dave said...

Hi vesty old mate, I had no idea you were some sort of hero, that old Admiral must have been one great bloke, see you on friday.

Vest said...

Reluctant Dave Reluctant, no options at all.

t&j said...

we love you grumpy gramps t& j

Vest said...

amerigo man: there was no insult to the US Navy only to an individual. mind you, you were quick off the mark about diapers, however you yourself must have been quite a remarkable person being able to see through steel armor plate.

zed said...

there is a butterfly called a red admiral i looked it up

old flo said...

I am a English lady older than you, and understand you quite well.I greatly appreciate your truthfulness, go long in the day, I will be your greatest support.

Vest said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
gordon said...

Mr vest --you are a bloody hero mate

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