Friday, 12 May 2006

A NEW SLANT ON GETTING YOUR LEG OVER or BEING TOO FAST ON YOUR FEET

WELLINGTON, NEW ZEALAND: A 31 year old man with no arms has appeared in court charged with dangerous driving after police stopped him driving with his feet at high speed.
Police claim Colin Raymond Smith was doing 121km/ph(75 mph)- 21km over the limit - while using one foot to steer from his reclined seat and the other to control the brake and accelerator.
Smith, who had two passegers in the car, told an officer he was born without arms, had never had a drivers licence and had been driving with his feet for years.

OPEN FORUM COMMENTS Not appertaining to this post are allowed on this comment thread, marked Open forum.

J L SPENCER'S novel 'WAVING GOODBYE TO A THOUSAND FLIES', ISBN 1-4120-3384-5, U/S$21-95. Available from the publisher, click on the ICON.

15 comments:

Vest said...

I suppose it would be easy to do that; when compared to mowing your lawn without legs.

zed said...

try taking a showerin hand stand position

gordon said...

I dont think ladies should try the handstand shower thing

frank said...

Open forum, I am a blogger but wish to remain anonymous so I will use another title, Frank.
My wife of a few months bless her, as soon as she goes to sleep just needs to Fart all the time and when I'm cuddling her from behind it becomes nauseous, I am afraid to tell her as she is highly srung and dont wish to annoy her. What say you guys?

rectomiss said...

Open Forum,I too am a blogger and I think this is fun, so I shall call myself Rectomiss. I suggest you plug the problem but hold on to your marbles.

zed said...

I loved john L spencers book I read it in the prison, I got done for drunk driving--3 months-- i loved emily and emma most altho his romp with penny got me feeling real sexy-- but it was sad in parts

tony said...

Rectomiss? Damn near killed him!

kate from bud---oi said...

It is over a year since I bought that book from he himself, he's quite a charmer, personally I would loved to have been Emily with her ladylike indulgences and wealth combined with the visuals of beautiful Emma, dare I say it. I was really turned on.
Vest I have commented on this site as anon due to family nosing, I have my own pc now see yo more often. K

Jeannie said...

I'll bet the guy drives better than a lot of people with all their limbs.

rosa the wine lady said...

J L S.Thanks for your Email,sure ill give you a S/P, I wont say plug as it might sound like the comment by rectomis,
If you dont like it delete it.
Being a wop as you poms call us, I was not familiar with the english geography and some of the countries you travelled to, but it didnt matter as i made my own scenes as the story went on, the way you described your child hood was great and felt sorry for you being at that horrible school.
Ah ,But your romantic adventures, had my juices flowing, CAN I SAY THAT? Your Magnetic north Hemisphere pole was certainly attracted to the southern hemi Women, now that Was good reading, and read again, I fancied my self as Emma, who comes over as the perfect love machine. I L Y, JLS, ROSA the wine lady.
'Waving Goodbye to a Thousand Flies'
I say my friends I not lend it you buy tight wad.

JLSPENCER said...

Rosa: That was so delicately put, and helpful to the cause.
Rosa I shall always remember our first meeting; when you asked,
"Are you looking at my chest"
And I replied.
"Yes , I can hardly miss it" and then we both laughed.
Thank you rosa for calling, may have another look soon.XX

Kate said...

Open forum: JLS, you are incorrigible, but as I mentioned before- a real charmer, Oooh Oooh.

gerard said...

OPEN FORUM.
MAD MAX FLAIR TO IRAQ SERIES.
Between Mad Max and M*A*S*H - Mel Gibson's production company is teaming up with Cable Channel USA Network to create a dark comedy set during the Iraq war.
'Peace Out', a six hour mini series will follow the journey of two Americans venturing to Iraq after the fall of Baghdad.
The announcement follows Gibson's recent attack on US President George W Bush, Where he compared Bush's leadership to the barbaric rulers of the Mayan civilisation in his new film Apocalypto.
"The fearmongering we depict in the film reminds me of President Bush and his guys," Gibson said.

Frank said...

Open forum,Doesnt any one have the answer to my problem, im not joking, but she tells me its me whos doing the farting and she wont see a doctor.
Hey- and that george bush yank presido is a right fart to, talk about Sieg Heil those dimwit yanks have got a right arsehole for a leader

Vest said...

Open Forum: Frank, I must ask you not to mention your dilemma in polite company old chappy, it's just not the done thing you know. However, follow this advice with the utmost caution.
(1)Obtain a 12 ft length of half inch garden hose and lubricate one end.
(2)When nearest and dearest is fast asleep and dreaming of her lover you know nothing about, you with the utmost loving care, shove the lubed end well into your darlings sphincter.
(3)If your flatulent lover smiles, and I see no reason why she shouldn't, poke the other end out of the bedroom window and you will be home and hosed.
Please guys, end of subject.

Goodbye Dear Rosemary. (Final)

      It was around 3 pm Wednesday March 8 That Rosemary returned from 'Day Care', she looked fine and healthy and bubbly and gave ...