Monday, 1 August 2005

ROAD RAGE: THE SOLUTION. Vest says, STAY COOL, or what is your method for dealing with the problem.

I have recently read a post on 'The Zombie Slayers Blog Spot' which relates to this problem and readers comments suggesting remedies to curb the violence which unfortunately occurs too frequently during road rage situations.
Bloggers ; please feel free to comment, any suggestions that may antagonize the problem such as; smash his/her head in with your club lock will be carefully scrutinised and be possibly deleted.

Bloggers are reminded, that J L Spencers book 'Waving Goodbye To A Thousand Flies' at US/$21-95 Would make a great Christmas present, or you could be real mean and keep it for yourself. click on the logo or email me for more details,

7 comments:

Vest said...

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it

out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on

someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone

call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, "Hello."

I politely said, "Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone

could be so rude. I realized I had called the wrong number. I tracked down

Robin's correct number and called her. I had accidentally transposed the

last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and

hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?"

He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently

waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot.

The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window . . so,I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole ( I had his

number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's

parked right out in front."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home every evening after five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an asshole."

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.

"Hello."

"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black

Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying

your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

Then I called Asshole #2.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, asshole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...!"

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at

1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay

lover.

Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th

Street.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.

When I got there, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in

front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and the channel 13 news crew.

NOW, I feel better - This is "Anger Management" at its very best

Vest said...

The previous comment was a transcript of an E mail sent to me a little while back which I thought was interesting reading.
vest Daily gaggle.

The Zombieslayer said...

Vest - ah. That email is a much better solution.

Yeah, looking back at it, I'm sure the punk's parents could afford good lawyers and my cousin's hubby could have been in serious trouble. But it really irks me that people are that rude and get away with it.

tshsmom said...

I have come up with a new solution for the computer age. Buy yourself a package of peel-off adhesive labels. With your computer print "You're an ASSHOLE" or another appopriate phrase and stick them all over the rude driver's windshield so it obscures his vision. These labels stick REALLY good and the rude driver will have to remove them before he can drive his car.

The Zombieslayer said...

Ha ha. I like your solution too, Tshsmom. Or how about a bumpersticker that says "You'd be an a**hole too if you had as small a ding ding as mine."

Hopefully the guy drives for a few days before noticing it.

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Jenn said...

Haha! These are indeed great ideas!!

Hope your hand gets better, Mollydooker.